Freedom?
 

In the future, Your kid will think that way, and you'll do the same things your parents are doing today. I guess That's how world goes on hehe

What age do you think people should be driving at?

How is that your country's fault?

A lot of people can't find jobs.

Do you think school shouldn't be mandatory? Should a 8-year-old be allowed to choose to go to school or not?

This is true all over the world.

That's pretty much true all over the world, too.

I actually agree with you there. I wish there was a test to determine if a teen is ready to go out on their own and take on the world, because the ones that do try it for real usually fail.

I just feel like everything is so restricted, it's all decided upon the parents or government. I realize this is true all over the world, that it's even stronger in other countries, but I'm talking about how people in America are supposed to be free. The laws require that someone be eighteen to do anything that doesn't require their parents' consent. Some parents aren't fit to make the decisions for their children. That's all I'm saying. Teenagers have so much influence on the way things happen, but we are so restricted that we can't do a darn thing. Maybe some of us want to live.

Money doesn't actually rule every where ya know.
There's a lot of places that are of the grid.
I do think a person should have a right to choose what they do with their life after they've been presented with statistics and had life experiences.
Some parents aren't fit to raise the children they made.
and not everywhere do you have to go to school.
Its not as if everything is the same everywhere 24/7, 365 days a year.

At some point in teenage life, every kid feels this way. I did. All my friends did.

Parents are simply people, just like you, only they have the age and the experience that comes with that. This is why parents take responsibility for their children, and kids don't get to make the decisions on their own.

How many kids go to your school? How many kids get in trouble at school in a given week?

Now let's look at a company with as many employees as students at your school. Do you think as many employees get in trouble as do kids at your school? I imagine if it were the same the company would struggle to stay in business.

I know as a teenager you feel like an adult, but you are still growing and your brain is still expanding. Eighteen might feel like a million years away, but trust me, it will be there and gone much sooner than you think.

and often, society is kinda like this. "Hey everyone, your opinion dun shiyaat to me and your shiyaaat's 'bout to fall. Your right wrong to me is all wrong, and you gotta pay when you do me wrong. so don't bullshiyaat till you realize cool is only 3letters away from fool" Society is kinda like this pretty much everywhere and we gotta deal wit it.

Maybe time to go to bed.

Its called not being a legal adult. Be glad you are in Indiana. You could be in a state where you have those limitations until you are 21.
It sounds like you have a problem with relationships in general. First with your parents, and then with what you are looking for in others.

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I feel that maybe teens should get to like, take a test when they feel they are able to handle the world by themselves, an emancipation test. At least for teens who aren't eighteen yet.

From what you have said you would probably fail such a test. Without education how would you answer the questions on the test? Without education and transportation you would not be able to get a job that support yourself. Quit whining like a 4 year old and find something to occupy your mind and time that your parents will accept and let you out of the house to do. It is YOUR FAULT that you have not found that common ground.

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I do not think that parents should be allowed to control their child until their eighteen if they can't even make the right decisions themselves. A lot of the time, it's like the parent doesn't even care if their child is happy, they just want to protect them. But parents, guess what. Sometimes you're doing more damage to your child by restricting them than by letting them do more. Sometimes the child is happier when they have some freedom. Maybe without that freedom, they will be socially awkward or depressed.

You would be far more miserable if your parents agreed to se you free. Its amazing how comforting food, shelter, clothing, computers, and internet access can be when you have no means to acquire them. They are paying the bills, so with legal and moral limits, they set the rules. That's how the real world works. And now you have summed up the crux of your problem. Unless that one person is yourself, you are headed for trouble. You have to rely on yourself first and foremost, over any other person in your world .... even your "controlling" parents. If you would be helpless without someone else, then you are cleary dependent and not qualified to function freely and independently.

People,people. I don't think we should all be siding with the kid's parents. They'll think they can't talk to anyone. Once,I shouted at my dad because he was being so pathetic and then he went "Teenagers don't want to help do they?" to this other middle aged man who agreed[and he looked like he would have been cool if it weren't for Dad] and I could have punched him. I am 18,but I am also the most normal person in this house. In this country people think you're going to end up old and hating your partner like my parents. English and now American society is all about pessimism. I am not going to end up like my parents and the minute I start to act like them I am going to stop. That is wrong.

And judging people on whether they pay the bills or not is a risky business. Your pets don't pay the bills,are you going to kick them out? I don't pay the bills. I do everything my mother tells me to[because I'm scared not to],and a fair amount my father,and I am not necessarily repaid for that.

A lot of adults forget what its like to be a teen
A lot of people don't remember how much they craved freedom
To me it sounds like OP, just needs to get out.
I think every kid at some point has a think they do as a form of rebellion.
As for this one person they rely on. Some people aren't as strong as others
and for all we know this one person could be the one thing they have to take the
Pressure from life away. People depend on each other its human nature
We are social creature. I've seen people be alone and rely on themselves for to long
and the only thing it serves to do is make them cynical.

I would ask everyone that posts in this thread to look at both side of the story.
In all honesty this sounds like a classic case of a parent scared to make mistakes so they don't trust their kid. And the kid doesn't know what to do and feels trapped. Adults aren't always right an neither are kids.

Instead of telling OP they are wrong. How about making unbias suggestions.

Also don't assume that hust because someone is young they know nothing of the world.
Its insulting to any young person teen or not.

This might be the best post I have read all day.

I have never seen a dog scream "I hate you" and slam his bedroom door, or a can complain that life isn't fair because she can't drive.

Quite.

I was quite different to other kids at school in that I was took out of my form room for what must have been a year to do some dispraxia thing then expected to re-integrate,and then half the Drama class were irritating and it just all went downhill towards the end. When everyone else finished their GCSEs I had to resit two but I had to sit through this assembly that was about everyone else finishing their GCSEs. And then afterwards everyone was having loads of fun. I didn't even do well in my GCSEs. I wasn't in a good mood when I did my GCSEs. I just wanted them to end. And then some middle-aged man says that they are dumbing down. Admittedly going and doing media was maybe a bit stupid. There should never be any characters like Kevin the Teenager. I don't recall ever "having a strop". I was getting genuinely frustrated. It wasn't cheap.

America actually seems much freer compared to ours and the Japanese education system.

Really?
I think a lot of teens THINK adults forget what it's like to be a teen, but I certainly haven't forgotten. My parents still remember their teen years clearly.

Why is it "insulting" to suggest a teenager is less experienced an adult? Did anyone say here teenagers know nothing?

MMM you seem to take things personally and its really annoying >.>
Please don't assume just because I post it targets you in anyway shape or form.
Just because your parents remember their teen years doesn't mean they remember how they felt at every twist and turn.
Also as I said "A lot of parents don't remember" you might want to take that as a general term. Not just you.
Not to say you haven't had good points its just annoying when people take "In general" statements personally.

Hi,
Please think again. your parents actually have no freedom as you ask for yourself. They have to face many things in daily life, in order to give you a peaceful and safe life at school. It may be like a prison to you, but that's the best way they think to make you happy.
If you want more freedom, do something to help them reduce their daily pressure and talk about your issue directly to them. They will understand.
Another way is to ask them send you off to somewhere far away from home for studying. You will be free for a while, and start understanding why your parents took their eyes on you all the times.

Be strong, one day you will be the one able to protect your parent.

Write what is inconvenient concretely.
Whether it is "freedom" or "Selfishness" is judged. ;)

What did I take personally? This is a discussion on a forum. I don't know what you are talking about.

I couldn't have been less offended by anything you said.

They may not remember every twist and turn, but we talk about things they did and how they were treated by there own parents. It seems they remember the important stuff.

I haven't been a teenager in a long time, but I remember just about everything... good times and bad. Especially strong feelings when I felt my parents were out to get me or didn't understand me. Now I can look back at those strong emotional times and kind of laugh.

What evidence do you have to the fact that "a lot of parents don't remember." I think teens think that because parents don't act in a situation like that teen would at that time, they must not remember what it is like to be a teen. That's the only satisfying explanation, as the alternative is the parents DO remember what it is like to be a teen, but know better with age and experience.

What evidence do you have that A lot of them take in to account how it felt even if they do? :)

What evidence do you have that they don't other than what appears to be your own anecdotal evidence?

I don't think adults forget what it's like at all but part of being an adult and a parent is being responsible for your child. As your child grows and experiments with independence then this will nearly always create some issues. It's never been any different.

Couldn't agree more with you that part of growing up is becoming independent and rebelling against the authority of your parents. How much angst and problems this causes will depend on how reasonable both the parents and child are. Personally I went to boarding school for a year at the age of 14. In that year I became incredibly independent and self sufficient. When I returned home I had huge iussues integrating back into the family environment and accepting their authority over me. Had a few very turbulent years until I left home at 18 I can tell you. It wasn't that my parents had forgotten what it was like to be young, in fact they were incredibly lenient and open minded, it was that I had stopped being a child in that year away from home (well at least I felt that way).

My advice to the OP is try not to be too selfish and self absorbed. The world is not just about your needs and wants. Part of growing up is realising that we don't just get what we want in this life, it is almost always about compromise and if we have dreams of something different then to reach them takes effort and time. Try to consider and see things from your parents point of view. They love and want to help you grow but also want to protect you. If you find the protection is stifling then talk with them about it. Do this when everybody is calm and happy, not in the middle of a fight over something. Your relationship with your parents is like any other relationship it will work better if you communicate.
When I was a teenager I must admit that I didn't exactly follow my advice above but why not learn from the mistakes us older buggers have made? ;)

Of course. I am old enough to have teenage children, and I remember my high school days like they were yesterday. All my friends do, too. I can now understand the choices my parents made for me now, even if I couldn't then. I can also remember choices I made then that I look back on with regret.

So because you remember those days.
All parents take all things into consideration all the time with every decision?
Because even to suggest such a thing would be a short sited view.
You can't always take example from your life and apply it to others.
Sometimes parents aren't good at what they do.
There is a such thing as a bad parent
Strict parenting can equal bad parenting.
Just because someone's young does not mean they are wrong
and more than you might think someone older with believe that they are right because they are older.
and sense you were once a teen yourself I know you've seen it too.
It is impossible for one person to be right simply because of age or experience they are only more likely to be right.

Parents understand that kids don't like every decision that is made, and understand that decisions they make may break the hearts of their children, but sometimes those decisions have to made. That's life.

Naturally parents like to make popular decisions, but sometimes that isn't possible. I remember when I was young my best friend had to move across the country because if his father's job. We were so mad, and couldn't believe how unfair this was. How could his father not consider his child's feelings when making the decision to move. Now that I am an adult I can look back and see how shortsighted and selfish WE were being, but at the time we couldn't see it like that. The father was doing the best thing for his family, even if the children didn't see it that way.

Of course there are bad parents out there, and of course sometimes kids are better at making decisions than their parents. But what I am saying is ALL kids feel this way at some point in life, and I bet a majority of adults look back on those times and laugh.

Right but we aren't talking about a kid. We are speaking of a young adult.
I know what you mean when you talk about selfish decisions.
I used to make them all the time.
But then my dad died a couples months back and I had to grow up and fast.
I get thar parents make unpopular decisions but no kid or young adult. Should EVER feel trapped in their own house a friend of mine killed themselves because of that. Its a bad thing.
I feel for OP's situation.
I'm sure you've realized that it could easily be either better or worse than OP makes it out to be.
It saddens me to hear a teen has Cabin Fever.
That is depressing and I think we all realize that. I mean am I wrong?

I still get called "kid" so please don't be offended.
Sorry to hear about your dad.

And I also agree, feeling trapped is awful. Do the OPs parents not let him go outside? Is he not allowed to see friends? I think if I was the parent of a teen I would WANT him to get out of the house sometimes.

I'm a girl :D And I do get to go outside, but I live in a place so far away from everything. I'm nowhere near walking distance to any place. I can see friends, but transportation isn't so easy to come by. I can't just get a ride somewhere whenever I want. But, I am really done complaining. I'm sorry if I sounded like a whiny teenager. :/ I guess I kind of am... But thanks for the advice... :D

Hime I don't know of any teenager that didn't have similar issues to those you are going through. Obviously your isolation isn't helping. Just remember that you will get older and you will one day get to be independent and get to make all your own decisions. Being young doesn't last that long! Enjoy it as best you can because being an adult isn't all fun and games either!!

Freedom is never free, it costs something somewhere.

You seem upset because life around you seems "structured". It is, take that structure and utilize it as your framework for adulthood. You will learn in time that freedom, requires alot of responsability.

Trust me - the grass just looks greener on the other side. Once you get over there, you will find that it`s already dead and has just been spray painted.

I had the experience of receiving "freedom" at about 13. I went from living with normal, maybe a bit old fashioned, "parents" (my grandparents who had raised me from a baby)... To living with my mother, who hadn`t (and still hasn`t) gotten past the selfish teenager phase of development. In other words, she thought she`d do what she had wanted her parents to do and give me complete and utter freedom. Plus, she was too selfish to offer up any "help". I wasn`t yet at the age to want "freedom"... And never actually got that far. By the time I was at that age I was trying to figure out ways to escape the situation, play down the stigma, and be a successful adult. Wanting to "do my own thing" never played into any of it.
Now, 15 or so years on, I don`t think I`ve changed much as a person. I just have the accumulation of actual life experience, and have pretty much reached the goal of productive adult life.

Anyway though... I don`t really see how being an adult would help any of the problems the OP is having.
Just to toss up the grim world of adulthood... And to show how it can actually *reduce* freedom...

Yes, you can drive. But a car isn`t going to drop out of the sky with a never-empty gas tank. As an adult you definitely cannot count on being able to use the family car - you`re free, just as your parents now are. They have absolutely no obligation to help you out or even let you live there.

So... You`re living alone, with a car you took out a loan on because you don`t have that much money but you need the car to be able to get to work... to afford to pay for your apartment, utilities, food, and the car itself.
Want to go out late? No, wait, you have to get up and go to work at 7. If you take the day off you`ll not "get in trouble" - you`ll lose your job and then your home and car. Want to buy such-and-such? Wait, if you buy it you won`t be able to afford to put gas in the car, so won`t be able to get to work... and repeat the above scenario. All your friends are getting together - but wait, you have to work to be able to afford to live.

Seriously - adulthood has an incredibly low amount of "freedom".

Op Im afraid its the world we live in atm.

You access the world easily via this interweb so its understandable that you think cabin fever.

afterall its so close but then so far away.

Now I also must point out that all those things you posted that you wernt allowed to do seem reasonable as reading your posts you seem a little immature.

And the only advice I can give is that although you feel the world is against you it really isnt....on the plus side we really have all been there.

Basicaly I agree MMM

Oh I should also point out that at reaching the age of 18 your parents dont change.

I'll say. I'm not getting a job here because it's too much like settling.