My Japan Syndrome

[JasonTakeshi]

Get a girlfriend.

[samurai007]

First, like everyone else has said, the OP really should do something about this if it's as serious as he claims. Avoid Japan websites, seek professional help, something.

Second, if you go to Japan and don't want to see foreigners, get the heck out of Tokyo, or any other large cities! Akihabara is going to have lots of foreigners, if you look for them, it's a tourist magnet in Tokyo! Go into the mountains, go to some seaside fishing village, don't go to any city with more than 150,000 people or any very popular tourist destination (like Miyajima Island), and you're very unlikely to run into foreigners. Stay well off the beaten path!

Next, try to realize that these are simply fellow foreigners with an interest and love of Japan, same as you. Maybe they haven't broken beyond the stage of appreciating anime and j-pop yet, but everyone starts somewhere. And if they cared enough to go and visit Japan, then they are likely having a fun vacation and enjoying the sights in a place they've longed to visit... shouldn't you do the same, rather than worry about them?

Finally, when I was living in Japan, I lived in a small town. I got the stares from Japanese people, the amazed "what is a foreigner doing here? He must be lost..." But I didn't mind meeting other foreigners at all! In fact, I felt an instant kindred relationship with them, even if they weren't from America like me. I went out of my way to talk to them, help them if they needed it (because I probably had more experience there than they did), etc. Believe it or not, it can get lonely being a minority of 1 in a country where you hardly speak the language and stick out like a sore thumb. It was always nice to see another gaijin, because they probably had at least some of the same feelings and experiences I had, and that gave us a bond.

[Mail747]

Originally Posted by RealJames

If what happens in mainland Japan upsets you, Okinawa would infuriate you to no ends. ><

About globalization, I think it's a lot more than that.
Other South-East Asian countries are being affected by globalization heavily and still have WAY less of a western influence and presence than Japan does.
For good reasons or not, for better or for worse, if it deserved it or not, Japan got socially violated raped used and run through a fine tooth comb after world war two. The generations of people produce after that each have their own nicknames which relate their psyche to aftermath of the social changes post-war.
There are cultural similarities to the Japan of the past but it's an entirely different place.

If you see the "untouched by westerners" feeling, there are in fact many places you can go to have that effect!

Heh, I'm not so sure why, but Okinawa doesn't bother me as much. I think it's just because Army guys aren't really the type to be big fans of other countries. They just go where they're posted.

But yeah, about the after WW2 thing, I agree with that.

I do agree to myself going to those types of places, but the fact remains that the people who aren't or haven't been to Japan get to me just as badly. :/

Originally Posted by RobinMask

If you're in the UK then psychiatric treatment is free. If you're in the US then check with your insurer as it's likely they'll cover some psychiatric treatment, depending on what it is and why. I can't think of any countries that would deny psychiatric treatment to a man, obssessed so much with a country that he admits to feeling suicidal at the thought of seeing other foriegners in it . . . in fact if you ask them nicely they might even have a special, white, padded room just for you

Seriously - I'll be constructive - look into help. If you can't, for whatever reason, get help then you need to help yourself . . . cancel your internet if you can't restrain yourself from forums and youtube, maybe buy some self-help books, try meditation to clear your mind . . . do whatever it takes really.

I am from the UK.
Heh, it's not that I'm obsessed with the country, but I'm obsessed with people who are obsessed with it... obsessed with the obsessed, in a way :L Weird I know.
Sometimes I think it may just be Weeaboo / Otaku hate taken to the next level, rather than My Japan Syndrome.

The fact of the matter is, there are a lot of foreigners who I completely wouldn't mind in Japan. It wouldn't bother me if you went, Robin, or most of the other people on this forum. It's one of the reasons that I posted here, because most people here are not obsessed with Japan, but rather have a mature attitude about it.

In fact, so far there's only one person that I know of on this entire forum who I have... issues with. And that person is obsessed with Japan.

Hehe, don't worry I'm not a complete Scrooge. I don't mind some cheeky humour in posts

Thanks for all the tips, I'll definitely look into them.
And about treatment being free, even so I'm still very skeptical about just talking. I've told you everything on this thread. I haven't held anything back, but the problem remains. It's why I would much rather invest in Hypnotherapy, but of course that costs. But of course, if it leads to it then I'll follow yours and most other's advice here a see regular Therapist. I'll just have to wait for when I have more free time, busy time of year for me at the moment. :L

Originally Posted by GoNative

Or just commit suicide. All your problems solved in an instant! And one less nutter in the world. That's a win win situation!

Thanks for the tip, but not an option sorry. I love life.
I expected hate towards me, but calling me a nutter? I just don't see that that's called for. Many other people in history were nutters. Hitler was one, for example. I don't see myself being the next Hitler any time soon.

Originally Posted by GoNative

To be honest when you look at the real suffering of people from the devastating tsunami in Japan and then look at the ridiculous mental problems of this fool it just makes me laugh. He feels suicidal because foreigners live in Japan? How pitiful is that really? Frankly the world would be better off without such idiots in it. Is that a bit harsh?

Ah, so because other people in the world are suffering too, I'm not allowed to? I'm not allowed to have my own 'ridiculous problems?' Jeez, I hope you never meet a person with a problem that disrupts your perfect vision of the rest of humanity.

As stated, it's the people who are more fond of Japan than normal, not 'everyone.'

Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but the world's just gonna have to bear with the great burden and evil that is me until the end of my life naturally comes, eh.

It's a shame too. I've been around these forums a lot and I like you GoNative. I always agree with your points and how you put them across. My opinion of you hasn't changed however, even though this time I'm on the receiving end.

Originally Posted by RickOShay

Very well, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I just cannot see what you hope to gain from talking to strangers on the internet. Unless just dicussing the problem no matter what people say to you about it makes you feel better? If that is the case do you have a close friend that you can open up to? I think they would benefit you, and be able to support you much more than this forum.

In the end though this is a peculiar and serious problem that you have and you will need to talk to someone professional who can find the root of the problem, or give you the trigger mechanism to be able to overcome it.. Even if it is expensive you really should try to find a way, because it is totally affecting your quality of life, and will be worth it in the end I think.

I will say though that you could try to take comfort in the fact that there are still remote places in Japan, and islands that are part of Japan that very few if any foreigners exist. In fact there are probably many many Japanese who have not talked to a foreigner in their life. Last year a friend of mine introduced me to her grandma and I was the first foreigner she had ever talked to. They amount of stares i still get in the medium sized city (800,000 people) I live in is testament to the fact that despite foreigners being in Japan many Japanese people are untouched by them. In fact unless trying to (ie hanging out with friends), I probably see less than 1 foreigner a week.

But come on though, anybody with a high school education could guess that major cities in the world's.. well now 3rd largest economy would have more than its fair share of internationals. I mean really man, you seem to be educated, this is 2011 after all, anyplace in the world that you have actually heard of is probably going to have a lot of foreigners, it is just something that you and everybody has to except, the world has been and is getting smaller and smaller. You should convince yourself not to be angry and obsessed about something that you have no control over.

Yeah I'm aware that I'd get very mixed reaction here, and I'm fine with that. I did genuinely just want to put it out there, and see what people thought and had to say.

I'd be too embarrassed to tell a close friend about it, and I know that their reactions would either be false to not hurt me, or would just lose me a friend. It's why I prefer the anonymity here, and I do really want genuine responses. The people who have called me a whacko and nutter, although I think that takes it a bit far, will say what they say and I'll take it on board that people really do think I'm a madman. At least I know I really do need to sort things out from it.

I agree, peculiar doesn't even come close. :L
I think I'm just a person that randomly has it, probably because of my OCD. There's no possible 'usual' trigger for it I can think of. I've had a perfect childhood, and adulthood. I'm not repressing anything, and I am a happy person... well besides the obsession bit.
But I'll take your suggestion on board.

Thanks too for your comforting. I do realize such places exist, and they'll be interesting to visit. It's just that the people who want to, are close to, or go nuts about wanting to go to / live in Japan hold just as much, if not more influence on me.

Yeah, it's an inevitable fate. I guess I could just be anti-globalisation, because I do feel that cultures should keep their own identity and pride, not just Japan, and as time goes cultural identity just gets less and less. I just feel it way more stronger with Japan though, because of the amount of people who act stupidly mad about it's culture. It may sound like they'd be rare, but if you've seen the amount I have, I think you'd feel down too. :L

Originally Posted by JasonTakeshi

Get a girlfriend.

I don't think getting a girlfriend would stop an obsession. If it did there'd be a lot less smokers in the world! :L

[Mail747]

Originally Posted by samurai007

First, like everyone else has said, the OP really should do something about this if it's as serious as he claims. Avoid Japan websites, seek professional help, something.

Second, if you go to Japan and don't want to see foreigners, get the heck out of Tokyo, or any other large cities! Akihabara is going to have lots of foreigners, if you look for them, it's a tourist magnet in Tokyo! Go into the mountains, go to some seaside fishing village, don't go to any city with more than 150,000 people or any very popular tourist destination (like Miyajima Island), and you're very unlikely to run into foreigners. Stay well off the beaten path!

I'd guess it would help, going to these places. But the people who want to, are close to, or go nuts about wanting to visit / live in Japan have probably even more influence over me back home. And just knowing that somewhere very close is flowing with foreigners would probably pull me back like a magnet, just so I could get maybe that one more foreigner count. I do rely a lot on statistics to calm my obsession.

Originally Posted by samurai007

Next, try to realize that these are simply fellow foreigners with an interest and love of Japan, same as you. Maybe they haven't broken beyond the stage of appreciating anime and j-pop yet, but everyone starts somewhere. And if they cared enough to go and visit Japan, then they are likely having a fun vacation and enjoying the sights in a place they've longed to visit... shouldn't you do the same, rather than worry about them?

Others here have tried to get me down and failed... but a passage like this makes me feel very uneasy, especially the last sentence. Don't get me wrong, it's nothing against you. It's just that something like this... is something that makes me uneasy. I know that'll make me look horrible... but please try not to take it the wrong way, I'm just being straight out honest. :/

I know too that I should do the same, but if I could it wouldn't be the obsession that it is today... it's just easier said than done.

Originally Posted by samurai007

Finally, when I was living in Japan, I lived in a small town. I got the stares from Japanese people, the amazed "what is a foreigner doing here? He must be lost..." But I didn't mind meeting other foreigners at all! In fact, I felt an instant kindred relationship with them, even if they weren't from America like me. I went out of my way to talk to them, help them if they needed it (because I probably had more experience there than they did), etc. Believe it or not, it can get lonely being a minority of 1 in a country where you hardly speak the language and stick out like a sore thumb. It was always nice to see another gaijin, because they probably had at least some of the same feelings and experiences I had, and that gave us a bond.

Although it'd probably never get to that stage, I'd love to be the kind of person you are. The type of person who actually likes the sight of another foreigner.
I just think that doing that though would make it worse.

Believe it or not, when I was in Tokyo an American family from my hotel invited me out with them for the day. I accepted, because they were nice. I also accepted because I TRIED to see if bonding with foreigners in Tokyo would get me over the obsession. I had a good day with them, they were even kind enough to treat me to my first ever snowcone. Then I waved them off later in the day when they left the hotel to spend the rest of their trip in Kyoto.
It was a great day.
But alas, it did absolutely nothing to my obsession. I was tracking foreigners while I was walking around with them (discreetly of course), and when the day was over, it was back to the counting the very next day. Not even full exposure on a day out with foreigners in Tokyo could change how deep this obsession has taken root. :/

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by Mail747

I am from the UK.
Heh, it's not that I'm obsessed with the country, but I'm obsessed with people who are obsessed with it... obsessed with the obsessed, in a way :L Weird I know.
Sometimes I think it may just be Weeaboo / Otaku hate taken to the next level, rather than My Japan Syndrome.

The fact of the matter is, there are a lot of foreigners who I completely wouldn't mind in Japan. It wouldn't bother me if you went, Robin, or most of the other people on this forum. It's one of the reasons that I posted here, because most people here are not obsessed with Japan, but rather have a mature attitude about it.

In fact, so far there's only one person that I know of on this entire forum who I have... issues with. And that person is obsessed with Japan.

Hehe, don't worry I'm not a complete Scrooge. I don't mind some cheeky humour in posts

Thanks for all the tips, I'll definitely look into them.
And about treatment being free, even so I'm still very skeptical about just talking. I've told you everything on this thread. I haven't held anything back, but the problem remains. It's why I would much rather invest in Hypnotherapy, but of course that costs. But of course, if it leads to it then I'll follow yours and most other's advice here a see regular Therapist. I'll just have to wait for when I have more free time, busy time of year for me at the moment.

Well hypnotherapy relies on a lot on the individual's desire to get better. The idea is to put you in a completely relaxed state in order to get to the root of your problems without you holding back, which is great in theory, because you say you have problems talking to a professional. Its downside is that - from what I've heard and seen - you need to want to get better. Like someone who smokes will have to really want to stop smoking, because if they go in all 'this is stupid' or 'I really want a cigerette', then it won't have any effect. It seems like you really want help though, so I doubt you'll have the problem of holding back or fighting treatment.

A good hypnotherapist - and you must check credentials, reviews from other patients, etc. - will cost you around £100 an hour, usually with about two or so sessions, depending on your needs. It's a worthy investment, but depending on your monetary situation it's admitedly expensive.

I would suggest classical therapy. The waiting list can be long, but it's well worth it. There's everyone from psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellers, psyciatric nurses . . . and there's many types of therapy: cognitive, Freudian, behavioural . . . so it's worth going in and checking it out, because - bear in mind - if you don't get on with it then there very likely will be another method that is right for you and that you can get on with. You can request chaperones or second-opinions or even to see another doctor, so don't feel trapped by it at all

I've unfortunately been through the therapy route a gizillion times with various people, and I can say it does help. Even when it doesn't "cure" an issue, people do seem to come out feeling somewhat better for it, because it can teach you techniques to cope or to re-evaluate yourself and your actions, and - if nothing else - talking to a person face to face, knowing it's all confidential, can be a relief.

So yeah, hope that helps you to make a decision, but good luck, whatver you do

[Mail747]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

Well hypnotherapy relies on a lot on the individual's desire to get better. The idea is to put you in a completely relaxed state in order to get to the root of your problems without you holding back, which is great in theory, because you say you have problems talking to a professional. Its downside is that - from what I've heard and seen - you need to want to get better. Like someone who smokes will have to really want to stop smoking, because if they go in all 'this is stupid' or 'I really want a cigerette', then it won't have any effect. It seems like you really want help though, so I doubt you'll have the problem of holding back or fighting treatment.

A good hypnotherapist - and you must check credentials, reviews from other patients, etc. - will cost you around £100 an hour, usually with about two or so sessions, depending on your needs. It's a worthy investment, but depending on your monetary situation it's admitedly expensive.

I would suggest classical therapy. The waiting list can be long, but it's well worth it. There's everyone from psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellers, psyciatric nurses . . . and there's many types of therapy: cognitive, Freudian, behavioural . . . so it's worth going in and checking it out, because - bear in mind - if you don't get on with it then there very likely will be another method that is right for you and that you can get on with. You can request chaperones or second-opinions or even to see another doctor, so don't feel trapped by it at all

I've unfortunately been through the therapy route a gizillion times with various people, and I can say it does help. Even when it doesn't "cure" an issue, people do seem to come out feeling somewhat better for it, because it can teach you techniques to cope or to re-evaluate yourself and your actions, and - if nothing else - talking to a person face to face, knowing it's all confidential, can be a relief.

So yeah, hope that helps you to make a decision, but good luck, whatver you do

Yes, I'm lucky I have a big desire to get better :P
I would be sure to check all things like that when I can afford it, I've already looked at some but will check external reviews too.

I'll still look into classical therapy like you said however and will keep my fingers crossed, especially if the techniques you mentioned are used and can help.

Thanks for all the help, much appreciated. And thanks for the luck wishing!