か and が Gags
 

Just a thread on a lighter topic here...

I've found what I think to be simple but pretty funny gags from this Osaka comedy theater. This style of gag is completely new even to me. I'm wondering if it's something that is cross-culturally funny to all you Japanese-learners.

Please watch the first 40 seconds and tell me what you think.



* If it turns out to be difficult for many of you to catch what's being said, I will provide a script.

I think it's pretty funny, but after the tall guy tells him to add てんてん to his sounds, I don't understand the next thing the police officer says at all. I can only guess he's adding てんてん to nearly every sound out of his mouth. Which would also be pretty funny.

But yeah, お邪魔します...か was pretty funny.
なにか、かわったことはないです。(I didn't get the joke on this one)
I understood 私、パトロールちゅうなんですか。though, and laughed.

I just re-listened: He did some kind of ピッピッ at the beginning, then something involving ごど. Hard for me to pick it up because it just doesn't sound like anything to me. But now I feel more confident he was adding てんてん to a lot of kana.

I kind of feel like this is a Monty Python-esque routine at the beginning. Someone saying something so very odd, yet with 100% confidence and seriousness in his words.

I thought it was pretty funny, thanks for sharing.

On a similar note, which is something I almost expected, Toyama-ben (which you might be familiar with?) uses が instead of か for questions sometimes.

Like: いつ行くが？ if が is used though, it might more likely be いつ行くなが？
We also say け, so like: いつ行くけ？ which I sometimes even hear as いついっけ?

I hardly ever hear people use か in everyday speech here unless it's someone who doesn't know me and they are trying to clean up their Japanese for me or people are using keigo.

お邪魔しますか I lol'ed at this.
何か変わった事はないです。If I'm not wrong, normally it should be ですか, correct? I think he did that on purpose to make it sound funny.
私、パトロール中なんですか. Is it a pun on ですが?

Well, that's all I can hear for now. Maybe I'll try again later with my headphone. My crappy pc speaker sucks, so I can't hear it well. Thanks for sharing by the way, SMさん :D

Yes. With が, it's just a softer, less direct way of saying "I am on patrol right now." But with か, it is "Am I on patrol right now?!"

Dang, Something about the police pulling out his book just put a smile on my face XD

Reading these comments helped me understand the point of this :D

Glad to know you guys got the gist of it. These gags are completly untranslatable as I'm certain that many of you have noticed. I'll just write out the lines so that those who weren't able to get it could now explain to themselves why the audience are laughing pretty hard.

Officer: おじゃましますか？
Man: えっ～？　安尾（やすお）さん、「おじゃましますか」 の「か」はいらないですよ。
Officer: あぁ、「か」はいらない？
Man: うん。
Officer: なにか変わったことはないです。
Man: いや、そこは「か」付けてください。「ないですか」っ て。
Officer: 「ないですか」？
Man:　今のところ何もないなぁ？
Old Man:　ないねぇ。
Man; ないっすわ。
Officer: わたくし、パトロル中なんですか？
Man: 知らんがな！してきたんちゃいますの？パトロール？
Officer: パトロール中なんですが。
Man: 「が」ですか？点々（てんてん）付けないと・・・
Officer: あぁ、点々。
Man: そうそう。
Officer: びだだっじごぼーごぐずぐごどが・・・
Man: ぜ、全部付けんでよろしいよ。
Officer: がじがっ
Man: 言いにくいでしょ、全部付けたら
Officer: あぁ、全部じゃなくて？
Officer: 皆さんにご報告（ほうこく）することがありまして・・ ・ <---- This is the line the cop tried to say when he said びだだっじごぼーごぐずぐごどが.

That is classic Yoshimoto. Not very complicated, but simple and clever.

Thanks again for the script, SMさん. It's a lot easier to understand the rest now. :) By the way, would you mind giving an equivalent, non-colloquial way of saying 知らんがな！してきたんちゃいますの？ That's the only part I don't fully understand in the script.

I see. Thanks for confirming that.

As I stated in the opening post, the lines are completely in Osaka dialect.

知らんがな！, in standard Japanese, would be 知りませんよ. 知らんがな has the nuance of "How the heck would I know?"

してきたんちゃいますの？ ＜　してきたのと違いますか？　＜　してきたのではな いですか？

Osaka ------> Standard
知らん　------＞　知らない
ちゃう　-------＞　ちがう
ちゃいます　---＞　ちがいます

Thanks again for the explanation. This is definitely helpful to me since I still haven't got enough chances to be familiar with this dialect. :)

I think learners should only care about two dialects at most. Tokyo (標準語) and the dialect of where they live, assuming they live outside 関東.

Too many people learn a couple years of Japanese and decide speaking in 関西弁 would be übercool, ending up sounding really weird.

nice gags..
hearing it kinda nostalgic for me..

Well, up until now the dialect I'm used to the most would be Tokyo (still far from being able to fully comprehend what people say in this dialect sometimes though). I have no intention of trying to speak in other dialects. One reason is what you stated. The other reason is that it's harder for foreigners to speak in these dialects. :p But it's still better to know because it will help me understand what people says. You know, it's kinda irritating when reading manga or watching some TV shows and not being able to get the main idea of some lines due to lack of knowledge about dialects.

I really liked this sketch. :) Like others who have posted before, I got all of it except some of the dialect.

I didn't quite get 全部付けんでよろしいよ。 I've never seen this before. I'm guessing it's another form of 付けなくてもいいですよ?

I usually listen to Hokkaido dialect, which isn't really so much a dialect, so Osaka-ben is a nice change for me. :D

You are guessing right. The tall man is really saying すべての文字（もじ）に「てんてん」を付けなくてもい いですよ。
"You don't have to dot every letter!"

Despite the great physical distance between Hokkaido and Tokyo, there isn't too much of a dialect in Hokkaido. This is because Hokakido was developed by settlers from the rest of Japan (mainly Honshu), each of whom spoke a different dialect. Once arriving in Hokkaido, however, they had no choice but to speak to one another in as neutral a way as possible for better communication. Over time this lead to the lack of a strong accent/dialect in the Northern Island.

Indeed. My hostmother is ("was"? she's not my hostmother now, but she's still alive...the ambiguities of English!) from Hokkaido. About the only quirky thing about her speech was ゴミを投げる instead of 捨てる. I think this is a well-known quirk of Hokkaido speech.

This is hilarious :)

Speaking of dialects though, do they air this in Tokyo? I'm a Japanese native from Tokyo area (sorry to jump in), and had a bit of problem understanding a couple of places due to their accent. I didn't get the first お邪魔します... "か" and it took me a second before it dawned on me that it was "父親似" because the way he said it was "父親に (to father)" in 標準語.

No, they don't air this in Tokyo, at least not on any "free" channels, which is a pity. I gew up in Nagoya watching this every Saturday afternoon together with a couple of other wacky Kansai shows.

Just to make sure, you do now get the お邪魔しますか gag, dontcha? It's like when we hear someone say something starting with おじゃ, we kinda automatically assume he will be saying お邪魔します, which is a statement. Then when you hear it in the question form with か at the end, you'd go "Why is that a question?" since no one says that with か in real life.

Oh yeah, I realized it was "か" and got the joke right after I heard the following "「か」は要らないですよ". It's just that "か" sounded a bit, mmm, like "かぁー", and it was an unusual sentence, so I was like "was it たぁ？ がぁ？". I think most Tokyo people pronounce か a bit more crispier.

I once heard a Kansai comedian saying they "Tokyonize" their accent when they are on Tokyo TV because people in Tokyo don't understand Kansai accent well, and I was like "yeah right", cause I understood all the ちゃいます and other Kansai stuffs, but I guess my listening comprehension really is not as good as native Kansai and Tyubu people. Shame they don't air it in Tokyo though. It sure is funny. Thanks for the link!