Yeah, most Japanese people I know that have lived abroad for any length of time say the same thing.

I think it's hard to adjust back to Japanese life once you've seen the way we live in other countries.

yeah right. I sometimes feel like I am not Japanese anymore. Miss my life in California.

You could maybe try going to Club Pure in Shibuya or make some foreign/ Ex-pat Japanese friends, who understand how you feel.

Thank you, SSJup81! That makes sense now! :pompoms:

been a very interesting threat to read and have given me a lot of dif info to think about. might not be so bad going back to school and taking a degree in history or something else and also give my self a few more years to learn some japanese and save up some money before hand ^^

and about the hole dont liek the states thing some have talkt about i would prob fall under the catagory im a half american half danish and dont really like the states to much anymore but thats jsut my personal opinion :D

Hi, I'm a bit late to this thread (and I'm new to this forum). After much searching online, this forum seems to have more reasonable members and postings.

Perhaps this is quite a loaded topic for somebody new to this forum but yeah I notice two types of people at boards like this (not saying anybody here falls into these two categories, since I don't know anybody here):

1) The naive, "Japan is amazing wonderland" who dreams of going to Japan and living there and enjoying for the rest of their lives.

2) The jaded, experienced ex-pat who has lived in Japan for at least a couple of years that can't help but complain about everything.

Me? I have kind of straddle along both sides of the spectrum depending how I feel usually. When I was younger, I use to be the first one thinking that I must leave America and that life in Japan is amazing. I knew that being naive about that kind of stuff isn't something to be proud of, so I kept it quiet usually. I was in high school. However, I always had this feeling that I would want to leave the country (the US) for even a little while.

I started studying Japanese when I was in college and then went to Kobe for a homestay for two months, it was an amazing experience and my first year Japanese got significantly better. However, by the time that two month stint ended I was really ready to head back home. I went back to Japan again for the second time for a year now. By the time I finished that, I was ready to head back home.

Life in Japan, to be honest, was so stressful for me on both accounts. I remember wishing I had never came to Japan that first time I went. People were fast, furious (as in busy and hectic), life was always blaring out noises, lights, it was all connected but it all burnt me out quickly (I was in Tokyo). I use to not care about getting that seat on the train, but I quickly realized that I was one of those people who rushed to get a seat and eyed people around the train to see if anybody was leaving. There are many more negatives but there are also positives (this post is getting too long and it sounds like a 'my life story' so I won't bother posting it all).

Anyway, I am back in the states, finished with college last year and now doing my master's. I am finding myself wanting to go back after I finish (next year). I realize that life in Japan entails both awesome experiences as well as bad ones. Now that I am prepared more than before, I know what to expect but I know that life will always throw unexpected things around. My Japanese has significantly improved since that time, I know how things sort of work. But as they say, you can never be too prepared.

It never hurts to be realistic but have a positive outlook on things. Trying to find the middle of those two types of people, I think, is the best way (for me) to find happiness in going back to Japan.

Try living somewhere besides Tokyo, somewhere a little more rural. Life in the countryside of Japan can be very relaxing and slow-paced, not at all like the big city. It was fun to visit the big city every now and then, but I was happy to be living in the countryside.

Also, time back in the US (or wherever a foreigner's home is) tends to ease the frustrations, stress, and difficulties of living in Japan, and emphasize the fond memories, the memorable experiences, and cause you to miss a lot of the things you enjoyed about Japan. (Conversely, while in Japan, you'll probably feel the same about your home country). That's only natural. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", as the saying goes.

I have definitely found that happy middle. I do love visiting Japan, and try to every year. On the other hand, it is interesting meeting up with my few gaijin buddies living there, in a way because the things I find interesting as a visitor are uninteresting to them as residents. I think people forget that if you live in Japan, you can't buy 100 costumes, manga, anime, etc. every month. Even if you could afford it, where are you going to put it? As a knowledgeable visitor I get to do some good shopping, and take it all home to America.

Honestly, the food is the hardest thing to separate from. A poor meal in Japan is hard to find.

And if you don`t live in Japan, you can?
I really do not understand this argument against living in Japan...

I find it somehow strange that you have this set image of all Japanese living spaces as being tiny and with absolutely no space - apparently because that is the type of place you lived.
There are larger apartments. There are larger houses. You CAN have a big house with a big yard. Sure, it would be hard to pull off in the middle of a big city - but I`d like to see someone do the same in any other huge city outside Japan.

I live in Japan, and if I felt the desire, I could buy 100s of manga each month - and have plenty of space to store it all. Thankfully though, I have other hobbies and only a small handful of series I follow.

ETA; If living in Japan isn`t the thing for you - I have absolutely no issue with that. Everyone is different. But I still think it`s a bit unfair to compare the life you had at one point to the life you have now as the circumstances are so incredibly different. If you had made your life here, I somehow doubt you`d be living the same sort of life you had back in JET... Just as I am sure that if I`d made my life in the US things would be significantly different than the lifestlye I had there prior to leaving.

That's for sure... along with the saying, "The grass is greener on the other side."

Sometimes, it's good to have that special destination. One which keeps you dreaming and motivated and yet, just out of your reach as a place to permanently live.