I'm in Japan and was tricked. Please help
 

Hi, I recently went to an expensive restaurant with a woman who marketed herself as an older, richer lady who would pay for the dinner and help me find a job. I guess first I should say, I know I made a stupid mistake. I guess I made more than one, and I realize that. So, please don't criticize me for it. I am just looking for help to make my situation right now.

So, anyway I went to a dinner, and she left without paying. I know she did leave intentionally because she left an empty laptop box in order to trick me as she supposedly went out to make a phone call and get her friend.

After waiting for a while, the restaurant closed, and the employees were asking me about payment of a huge bill. I am just a student and cannot afford this type of thing. I took out what money I did have (a little over 5000 yen), and they took 4000 of it and told me I would be able to get home with the subway. All of this was very difficult by the way because I cannot speak Japanese well at all.

Anyway, it turns out that my subway was closed already and I ended up having to walk back in the cold from a far away place. Now, they expect me to come back and pay the rest of the bill later. However, I want to go to go to the police and file a report. I did try to go to a police box, but they did not speak English. Also, my Japanese wasn't good enough to even describe my situation. I thought I could find a Japanese friend to help me, but they are all busy or can't communicate with me well enough either.

I am currently thinking that the only thing I can do is wait until Monday when an English phone number is available for the police. I can do that, but now I feel very alone and depressed. I am wondering if anyone has any advice to offer. Also, I wanted to note that I did take the empty laptop box and plan to bring it to the police for evidence.

Thank you

Damn, that sux! :mad:

I can't offer you much help, just a hug of support.
But do contact the restaurant again to see if they have securitycameras to help you add to the evidence to give to the police.

Wow, man, that's terrible.
I've never heard of something like that, but I guess there are cruel people who are willing to take advantage of people all over the world, and unfortunately, that means including Japan.

But I'm curious, you want to take this matter to the police. But what crime was committed?

I think this is a situation where you encountered a selfish woman, and just need to get past it.
She really did all that just to get a free meal? Where did you meet such a woman?

Anyways, I think you should just forget about it. Don't make it any bigger than it is.

But that's a terrible thing to have happen.

It's horrible but I think Alan X is right. You're not going to get much sympathy from the police, and whilst you're right to make them aware that such a scam might be going on, I don't think you're going to have much luck being compensated.

How much was the bill?

I am curious, where in Japan are you?

You said she "marketed herself"...where and how did you meet her?

How do you know they want you to come back and pay the bill?

How many hours were you waiting for her that the subway shut down?

What do you know about the woman that will make a call to the police worthwhile?

How much is the bill?

Thats terrible man, I just hope that you don't associate this bad woman with Japan specifically and let it taint your time here. Understand that there are people like this in every country.

I would definately try and tell the police but I'm inclined to agree with someone else that its likely to go nowhere.

What a con artist, I can't believe she left an empty laptop box to throw you off. Brilliant! Anyonee that smart deserves a free meal.

I still don't understand what's with empty laptop box? What is it's significance?

Well, a laptop is something of high value. Not just retail price, but also the data contained in it. Our police force found that out the hard way last year X|.

Hum, it is a con, but it's not fraud. She operates just under the radar of the police. Setting you up to pay for dinner suck, but it's just like dine and dash. The one who doesn't dash pays.

Well, you got her contact info, maybe you could track her down and make her pay for it. Not likely though. The only thing you can do is pay of the remaining debt I'm afraid...

It seems like she left it at the table because she would have to come back for it, therefore making the OP feel like she really is just stepping outside. Because as stated, she wouldn't just leave something high value like that around.

I think it was a very smooth move, so smooth that I'm quite positive this isn't the first time she pulled this trick.

Gotcha, but why would she bring a laptop box, empty or not to a restaurant in the first place?

"Oh, this? It's just mah purse." :cool:

LOL, maybe she was going to help him find the job with wifi :cool:

Hey, thanks for the replies. Essentially, I want to get the police involved because I'm sure the restaurant will get them involved if I don't. The restaurant copied my national health insurance card which has my address on it. The bill is ridiculous...like $230 something in US dollars. The problem is that I can't pay it. I get a certain amount for food every month, and that's over half of it. Paying that would prevent me from eating most likely, even if I did only have cheap stuff from the 99 yen shop or something.

As for the post about how I met her, I am in Tokyo, but I met her from an online personals ad site. There's probably no way at all to track her. I mean I understand that no one will waste resources just because someone got conned out of a huge dinner bill, but I just want to see what the police say and let the restaurant know my situation. I'm not sure if there's anyway anyone would show sympathy, but I am in a bad spot. Also, I only waited about 30-45 minutes. It was late at night and when the restaurant was closing soon when she left.

I wasn't thrown off by the laptop box because she said she travels a lot for business, and she said she had just gotten back from Osaka so she would be late.

I hope I answered all the questions, but does anyone know anywhere in Tokyo that police would speak English, even on the weekends? I would like to go as soon as possible.

Thanks again

The fact that the restaurant let you leave with change means they aren't looking to file charges, or they would have just called the police that night.

I guess I am confused as to how you got into a situation where you were eating a meal that costs more than your monthly food budget and were sure she would pay for it. Is she an older woman? As far as I know, Japanese women still like to be taken out, etc...

Actually, the restaurant wants me to come back and pay it on the later this month because I told them that I only get money once a month and not again until a certain date. That's why they wanted to copy some kind of ID of mine. I'm not sure if that's even ok for them to ask to do that or not, but I was scared and had a bit to drink at that point; mostly scared of having no money and being stranded far from home. It's also intimidating when my Japanese is terrible.

Basically, how I got in that situation is that I met a lady online who said she was a successful business woman that only had time for work and didn't want to play any games, so she wanted to meet me once a week just for dinner and conversation. I agreed because free dinner is always nice, not to mention the chance to learn more about Japanese language and culture in addition to possible business practices. I thought I was being nice to a lonely, busy person as well. You're right though, age and national origin have nothing to do with whether or not a woman likes to be taken out. I guess I wasn't clear in my explanation of this specific situation before, and I apologize.

But did she say "I will pay for your dinner every time we meet"? Because if that wasn't explicit I would assume that she would assume you would pay for it.

Yeah she did actually. She knew I was a student and had virtually no money. This isn't a case of misunderstanding as her English was great. This is obviously a case of trickery to me because of what I've described, not to mention she quit responding to emails.

I'm also a bit disturbed that this seems like some kind of small hate crime in a sense because during our conversation she kept trying to imply that white people are overrated. She would say when she worked at a real estate company, white people would get preference over other foreigners, such as southeast Asians, even though the others had more money. She also compared me to someone her friend is dating and destroying her life over. I am finishing up two degrees, and she compares me to a drug dealer! The funny thing is that I'm not completely white; I'm a bit mixed. Growing up has taught me not to worry about race, so I really don't want to get into any argument about that. Good and bad people are everywhere, but this just kind of disturbs me.

this is why you never trust anyone. thinking strategically, this could have been avoided.
since she offered to pay for the meal, it shouldn't have been an issue if you left first
moreover, instead of announcing you were leaving, you could have pulled the same deal as her "oh, i have to make a phone call and let my mother know how i'm doing.. it'll just take a few moments." and then leave.

I think if she were saying things like that alarms might have been going off in my head. Either she was a scam artist, or was using you to get revenge on "white people".

Either way, I don't know if you are going to get a lot of sympathy from people, as you placed yourself in that situation, and what self-respecting man lets his blind date pay for his meal?

It sounds like you were able to communicate with the restaurant, so I would offer to pay 5000 yen a month until you can pay off the remainder of the bill.

Woah, hold up, MMM. You and I often agree, but I am going to have to take a stand here. She asked for the date, she chose the restaurant, and she said she would pay. The rules are different now (yay feminism! <- not sarcasm), and now asker pays, regardless of gender/sex. She asked, she pays. Next time, if this were to develop into a regular thing and he set the date and chose the restaurant, he would pay. No self-respecting person wants to be taken for a ride by someone who doesn't put in their fair share.

But this is besides the point, because this sounds lot more like a business deal than a date. She wanted conversation and company, but she was also willing to help him network. I would be fully expecting, had I been the OP, for the other shoe to drop and find out, professionally, what she wanted from me. I would fully be suspecting it would be private English lessons. They usually are when I am approached in such a way.

I think OP should have asked more questions and presented a more professional "face," but I think calling him out for some misinterpretation of the chivalric code is ludicrous.

When I lived in Korea, I had a business relationship that started out very much like this. She took me places and paid for meals and drinks, and I helped her on high level English conversation (about history, philosophy, sociology, and even helped work on essays she was writing in English). In lieu of getting paid, which would have been illegal (private lessons are not legal in Korea, but they are in Japan), she always picked up the tab. We were not dating.

He said he met her on a dating site. I am just working off of that. I didn't say he didn't deserve sympathy, as I think he does. He got jacked, and that really sucks.

I am just saying, he may not get a lot of sympathy (from the police, etc.) because he let someone take him to a very expensive restaurant, and let her walk out with her purse without paying and without knowing her contact information.

I know people that will never meet someone in these kind of blind date situations without knowing a telephone number the person will answer, or their work number (confirmed).

This wasn't really presented as a "business relationship" they way I read it, so I don't feel like assuming that the OP is not going to get a lot of sympathy is "ludicrous".

I realize there are older women who will take out younger men for "companionship", "English lessons" what have you. You can call it a business relationship or what you want, but you must understand that it looks a little fishy, and that's why I said what I said.

My gripe was with your "no self-respecting man" comment. I found it not a bit sexist, and uncalled for.

As I said, if it were me, I would have asked a lot more questions. Online personal ads or not (which are not always, but frequently are, dating ads), this woman clearly broadcast that she wanted something. I would have treated it like a business relationship until explicitly told otherwise.

In the case I mentioned in Korea, it took me to clarify that this was business, not pleasure, and that we were looking for legal ways to recompense me for my services. From an outside standpoint it may have looked like we were dating. We weren't.

OP should have made it clear which one it was.

I should have been more clear. I was applying not my feelings, but how this situation may be looked at by other people (police, etc.)

"There is no free lunch..." She offered him a free meal and a job opportunity. What was he giving her? Well, we found out at the end. That's how I think it may be seen by some.

Don't get me wrong, I feel for the OP. And next time he will be smarter about how he goes about dealing with blind dates and people offering him expensive things for free.

I agree with MMM, he has some good valid points leading to the suspiciousness of this "date."
This is a good lesson about certain people and a life lesson. What happened to you will teach you to not make the mistake again.

Analyze the situation before you take action and think about the good and bad (possible) results/outcome.
You also should've collected some sort of solid contact information like a number you are able to reach her by and confirm that it works as well.

Overall, I do feel pity for you getting tricked for being a foreigner (thats what the reason seems to be).

Let this be a lesson learned and never to be done again before taking proper precautions.

I agree calv930.

Just because someone is white/black/American/British/Canadian/blond/red-head/brunette/etc. etc. etc. doesn't mean they are not necessarily targets for scams, even in a country as safe as Japan.

I do no want to disparage the OP, and I am really glad he posted his story, because this kind of thing can happen.

There are a few things you can do to make sure it doesn't happen to you.

1) If you are meeting a stranger for any reason, make sure you have their contact information. Especially most valuable is work info. Confirm what you can before meeting...even if that means calling their office to say "Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow." If that information is not available, be sure to do number 2.

2) Meet with a friend. In my most recent trip I wanted to talk with someone who worked at a particular retail store. I made my request to a woman in the store, and after talking in the store asked her if I could talk about her business over coffee, etc. Obviously that sounds suspicious so even with her agreeing I encouraged her to bring a friend or workmate, we met in a public place and she chose the location where the three of us had a bite to eat and talk.

3) Go to a location you are familiar with. Especially if you are not able to bring a friend or confirm contact information...go to a place you know, and know the staff.

4) Remember, Japan is like anywhere else, and if something smells funny, it probably is. There are no free lunches in Japan, so if someone wants to give you something for nothing, be suspicious.

I think MMM hit this on the nail.

A $230 meal is hardly surprising in Japan but she knew that it'd be especially painful for you in your current financial situation. You were vulnerable and she took advantage of you.

It's very unfortunate but keep your chin up high because everyone gets tricked at one time in their life. I could go into the time where I lost a $10,000 investment a few years ago but it'd be too depressing. :P

My bit of advice is just to forget about it :) I mean REALLY FORGET ABOUT IT!

Do not go back to the resturant or contact them in any way and see what happens...

If they do "come after you" then just explain that you can't remember what they are talking about and that you usually forget stuff after a good drink.
If they get a bit firmer with you then point out that you would never eat at a resturant where the main meal is over Y300 as you are on a budget that is unless the drinks are 1/2 price ;)
You get the idea...

If your morals won't let you do that, then I suggest you get some rubber gloves and expect to do some serious dish washing.

If you take the first option then I suggest you carry the laptop case around with you incase you get the oppotunity to pass it onto someonelse. Make sure you don't try that in the same resturant though 8[]

I hope you are not serious, because this would be about the dumbest thing he could try to pull. If they were to get the police involved he would be in a whole new level of trouble. The smartest thing for him to do would be to pay them back slowly or borrow money from a friend who trusts him.

Yes, repay the kind restaurant that let you go by never showing up with the money you promised. Good work.

OP should try picking up girls IRL instead. If dealing with shady people on the internets, use the slogan "hope for the best, prepare for the worst," but I suppose he's learned that by now.

My attempt at constructive advice is that involving the police will mean a lot of hassle, as someone mentioned before. And who knows? It might end up costing ya more.

Try to strike a deal with the restaurant, or run, but I don't know how wise that is. You're probably going to have to deal with the police in that case, and if you suspect you will, you definitely wanna be the first to call in and give them the story. I know a European guy who got into trouble with police in Japan because of a minor argument with someone (according to him), and his lawyer told him if he would have called up first to explain he would have avoided a world of hassle.

Live and learn. No one here will be able to give you any real advice because I doubt anyone here has ever had the same experience. You're going to have to sort through this problem yourself. Going to the police is a waste of time, they may sympathize with your story, but that's all it is, a story, you can bet that if they ever found the woman, she would have a story too, and it would probably be quite a bit different from yours.

At least the restaurant let you leave without doing something like holding onto your ARC card (which they have been known to do). Pay them their money when you get it, and consider it a tuition payment for another lesson on life.

Well put.

Dumping this debt could lead to a fast ticket home and no re-entry for 10 years to life.

I agree. Find a way to pay the restaurant.

All I meant earlier is that IF you don't can't find a way to settle the debt, don't just run. If you have a feeling that the restaurant might go to the police you should call the police first.

But seriously, if the resturant ever thought they would see his money again they would have never let him leave. He also paid Y4000 which would cover most food bills at cost price and depending on the drinks they had that too.

The resturant were also aware of his situation as they served a meal for them and I am guessing that the biatch ordered the stuff in nihongo. I would say that they got what they could from him and let him go and lick his wounds.

People like you (quoted) do not understand real trouble; not here, nor your neck of the woods. People who will scare this guy by saying he will get deported or such are assholes who also do not understand the law, the police or the system.

In this case the law has not been involved, and if at anytime it does get involved then I suggest the guy contacts me for some advice on how to handle the situation.

I would suggest that the women "works" for the resturant and tricks punters into paying an over inflated bill a few times a week. Most likely gets a 30% cut of the mug.
I would also suggest this is why the resturant will not persue after getting its Y4000. Some you win some you loose.

This is why I recommend to let the action play out and see if the resturant really comes after you. I bet it won't.
And even if it does, they can not persue you for any more then the original bill (I hope you kept a copy), ie. being negligent in paying a non specific agreement is like farting in a toilet.

Point. Did they say when you must pay and what amount you must pay, did they say how?
This is not an agreement so you are not obliged to follow rules that do not exist.

To the OP...
You know you were a dick for picking up a person from a dating site. You were lucky you didn't wake up in the gutter with a sore arse, or stiches where your kidney should be.
Never do that shhh again!!!

"consider it a tuition payment for another lesson on life."

Life can be hella lame.. consider that a lesson for sure! Good call man...

How in the world would a restaurant make money serving expensive meals to people who can't pay them?

This whole situation is very confusing but nonetheless. Why did you trust someone whom you did not know so easily? Everywhere you go is full of con artiest of some sort. Just because you in Japan does not mean you should let your guard down. Did you ask for any material any references any proof that her business was legit?

This trick happens commonly even to Japanese. Many a man has gone on a date and found himself suddenly alone when the check comes. Some of the bills for these meals can be $500 or more, and if the man finds he is short of cash, he may end up leaving without his watch, briefcase, and whatever else the restaurant wants to hold onto until they get their money.

It's not far-fetched to say that the woman might be working for the restaurant, but even if she was, the OP would never be able to prove it.

The OP has no recourse because he is a foreigner, and failure to pay a restaurant bill is a crime. Foreigners who commit crimes of any kind are not tolerated. It's less expensive to deport someone than it is to prosecute them in court.

Why is it not far-fetched to say this? If this is true she picked a pretty crappy mark. The kid has no cash.

I think it is you that does not understand the law or the police in this country. Not paying his bill at the restaurant is a crime. Is it so hard to believe that the owners sympathize with what happened to him, and are being nice and giving him a chance to pay back the bill. If they have information about him, and he chooses to skip out on the rest of the bill they very well could call the police, and then he most definitely would be up shit creek without a paddle.

How can you even think you are giving good advice to him? You are telling him to act like an ass to the people (owners) who where nice to him and try to skip out on payment (ie break the law), and test their patience to see whether or not they decide to involve the police, and if they do, essentially screw him pretty good in the process. I have lived in Japan for 6 years, I respect people, the law and their customs. And surprise! I have never had any trouble. I don't know how long you have been here or how you choose to live, but if you were to start taking your own advice on such matters I would imagine you would not be living here for much longer.