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Please review...thank you :P
~*Hidden Here*~
Here in your arms I am hidden, In your stare I am drowning, On your lips I am melting. Forever more I am prisoner to your soul, my devotion, our completeness. Continually I am here, Trapped if only by my will. And crying at the way you love me. So if all I remember is your scent, your feel, your laugh. I can bear it, Forever more..... I am here, Hidden in your love as deep as the seven seas. I know that there is a thread for poetry but I want feedback so if you could be so kind...:ywave: |
I know it's not ment to ryme, but a little couldn't hurt. Content's good though. (again, personal opinion)
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I'm not a poet, and I don't know much about poetry.
But surely every poem has a structure, where-as yours does not. You might want to work on that. |
I dunno... i thought it had structure, and not all poems rhyme. I give it a thumbs up! It conveys the messages that I'd think are meant for a lover? Well, I like it... Another things about poetry: Not everyone will like your style... but there will always be someone behind you too. n_n +~*Yosei*~+ |
thanks for your comments guys :)
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Quote:
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I never could understand such poems, so I always preferred ones that rhyme.
But if someone told this poem in person, I guess I'd be...... speechless. |
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