samurai and love

[Sutiiven]

this is the whole thing so far enjoy it and excessum check this whole one so far.


Samurai and Love

Samurai and love during the midst of a battle his love gets taken but yet he still lives for revenge for the day his family gets killed and yet he hopes she is still alive but is she alive or dead he does not know until the end of the series if the havent killed her but yet they still fight to get within each others arms she tries to leave but the number of foes is to great for her to fight but the rest will be told another day.

heres more for yall. his family has been dead for over 400 years and his love and him are cursed to forever stay young and not know its to get old he had been in a deep sleep from his loves specialty with herbs so that they dont have to fight again in those blood sticken day's

for it was the past but is no longer for the anew it once again has come to the greatest foes he has fought has come back for one last time. he also doesnt remember who he is except certain parts come and goes he sees a beautiful woman as she looks so familiar for all he knows this is where his journey and story begins.

.As he runs through Okinawa he runs into Kanji, an old friend from the feudal era and his prized blade the Kaijin Fu we were both rivals and as i walk through i run into swiftant and he has his deadly katars of the mist as we eye each other the blades are out were going full blow to each other cut by cut but we wont quit he is getting ready to end my existence with the Poison Of Seven Snakes and i blank out and see something that seems so familiar a women but luckily Kanji, shows up at the right time or i would be gone and i.
tell swiftant that you may be an assain well known for your skills but you will not stop me i am going to find out who i am you will not keep me from finding my love for i am a samurai and i will fight to death and it is what keeps me living for i've seen her in my dreams and for all i know i must find her aaagh.

what happened you passed out and you are severly injured i must get Swiftant he can tell me or i will kill him. you fool i will have to stop you no you wont all right then . he is out know and he wont get killed but i cant blame the poor fool though his heart is strong but im sure he will be better tommorow though as it seems this Swiftant is quick and dangerous and master every style the assasins use he must be the leader.

Though were going to continue our journey i cant tell much about Kanji, he seems as if he is himself butt other times it's as if he's a different person he's also one of the strongest except except for Vesperd, and and the assasin known as Swiftant but for now we can go eat ramen rice cakes also train and drink and find to women to dress our wounds but everyone seems happy all the time here but for some reason but it doesn't hit me right even if their normal but there not it's as if their possed but Kanji is not around it it's got to be daemon let her go raaaa not now friend we battle later and you're to weak for now. i want a challenge win tell win i think your ready to fight we will meet but not tell then well for now the woman is safe i couldn't live if any one else died but then i used to enjoy spilling the blood of innocents but as time comes and goes you change but you can not tell except fo at certain times but for now i rest with my blade at my side.

you well heres the story for swiftant the assain : Swiftant's an assasin brought up and hired by a group of vicious high-ranked ninjas to help eradicate all their enemies. He's lost all hope and happiness and has somewhat been reduced to a walking, serial-killing zombie.

Long ago,when swiftant was still a baby,a battle was waged between the knights and ninjas, and his village of archers was accidentally caught in the midst of the violence and was obliterated hence,Swiftant(whose original name was Guntros)is the sole survivor of the archers which has nw bcome an almost extinct race.Adopted by the ninjas,swiftant has been taught the ways and customs of their culture, adapted to their lies of his village being betrayed by the knights during the battle and trained skillfully to be a professional assasin,constantly honing his techniques.

Filled with hatred and sorrow to the brim, thinking that the knights had destroyed the whole village,he's vowed to take revenge on them, never resting in peace until he's eliminated all. He doesnt talk much and uses mainly mono/duo syllabical words unless he feels obliged to do otherwise. Keeps to himself most of the time. Although the Knights of the round table use claim themselves defenders of justice and righteousness, Swiftant detests their preachings of peace and harmony

.For swiftant, its either one class or the other. A magic jewel,given to him by the chief ninja, had presented swiftant with a new way to channel his negative feelings.. in an elemental form-enabling him to manipulate/induce lightning. This in turn has allowed another ability to present itself to him - moving so fast that it is rumored he sometimes moves like lightning. Lives in despair and is only on close-terms with the ninja responsible for adopting him. Has an inborn sense of pride and etched independency(he has to fend for himself most of the time,and has to be careful not to offend the other assassins because he thinks they're the only ones who can help him fulfill his quest of doom). Subconsciously,in his heart(although he doesnt like to admit it),Swiftant longs for somebody who is able to udnerstand him..,someone for him to open up to..,someone to love.


Vesperds a legend but know knowns anything about him except for the factor is he has killed so many people he has no heart to him his trails from the wars has him leaving as the death dealer where this war is it's in lower Okinawa its a river its called the river of blood they say on days of the new moon you can hear them scraming as they're getting killed.

well they say its to much pain that gets flows with in them that in can kill you so no dares go there even the strongest of warriors have died for it but only the true rulers of the blade can pass it their wil is for good deeds but if you're bad they'll kill you. but Kanji we all know your past but mine is as if it is a secret but know we must figure a strategy for these guys for all we know they can be deadly for we have to travel across the whole thing of Tokyo but then after its said and done we finish this

tell me what you all think

[LilMizzButterfly]

Constructive criticism: Well, I think your plot seems very interesting. However, you have many mistakes with punctuation. For example, that first paragraph seems to me more like a very long run on sentence. That made it pretty exhausting for me to read.

Secondly, it's a little hard to read with the paragraphs so huge. Try to make those big paragraphs into 2 or 3 paragraphs. It makes it a lot easier to read. Also, putting in those sentences like 'Would you like to know more about this character?' With that in there, it doesn't really seem like a story. It's more like you're just telling it rather than writing it.

But, it sounds like it has potential to be a really good story. Just keep my advice in your head, ok?

[Sutiiven]

well i seperated it and the punctuation i am working dont have very much time to fix everything