JapanForum.com - Japanese raising

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I have a question about raising a kid in Japan for those of you who can answer. The question just popped into mind and I really didn't want to start a new topic for it.

If you're a foreigner and you bring your child with you, who isn't Japanese in any way, because you got a job at say a company in the country, where would you send your child school wise? The child isn't Japanese, so a typical regular school probably wouldn't work since the child would have to have a good grasping of the language, and let's say he/she is still learning it. Do all foreign kids end up going to a place like ASIJ?

well, it depends on how much money you have really. and what age your child is. the younger the child, the easier it is for him to grasp the language.

If it's middle school-high school age, you could consider international school but it would be incredibly costly. Or you could send your kid to a normal school and invest in a tutor and ask the school to give him supplementary lessons.

Most people opt for international school status, because i think international schools follow the IB.

Is anybody out there?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kal3ido (Post 357255)

I admire the way Japanese parents raise there children. There values are much better in Japan then they are in the States.

Well what can I say, you had me at 'hello'.
You think Japanese values are superior? Hmmm... I can think of very few good ones. But even the positive manifestations of Japanese values like economic growth are based on flawed values. eg. Like self sacrifice for the state of the corporate hierarchy. I think you need to move beyond the facade, and apply some critical thinking to what you observe. Its not what it seems. You must come from one 'stuffed' family to think American values are 'generally' worse, and I'd suggest Japanese values are much more homogenous.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kal3ido (Post 364328)

You can not understand what you do not know. Same goes for me and the Japanese culture, I need to be there to see first hand.
But as for the other things. A lot of people I know raise there kids right, and they still turn out bad, mines included. Family does play an EXTREMELY important part of there lives. But not all families as loving and have the white picket fance in front of there house. My family is not even close. I hate being around them. Again this has nothing to do with my self esteem and self image. Im talking about the African American people as a whole self image. Im not ashamed for me, but for the ones who act like the way people "think" we are. Even if I install 100% good values in him/her, does not mean they are going to listen. And this is where all the traits/genes/culture/herditary(sp?) falls in. I can do my best and not succeed and I can do my best and succeed. If I was giving up, I would not be sitting her on my phone debating with you. It's not just my culture or way of life. Everyone is affected. What about Linsey Lohan, Karine Steffans, Irv Gotti, Snoop Dog, 50 cent, Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton? Im sure there parents installed some good values into them as well. Everyone is not the Beyonce's or the 50 cents. Actually I have a lot of pride in being black, I just hate the negative image some have of us. I'am certainly going to show my child the wonderful people of the African American culture. But it's a shame when I ask black kids about black inventors, or hero's and they can only tell me Dr. King. You can only teach your kids so much, believe me, my mother done told me some things when I was younger and they have went in one ear and out the other. I think that everyone should be more open and not self-centerd. That's why I want a baby of mix heratige. To experiance things that was limited to me. And to understand how humanity should be. Most of my friends are not even interested in other races, unlike myself or dont even have one diverse friend. Normally to me, friends try and brain wash you, even if you dont want to do it. Most kids will to feel accepted by their peers. Why are so many pre-teens having sex and having babies? Because this is there common answear. "My friends are doing it, so Im doing it not to be left out." I did a paper on this last year. I even took a survery of my college. I hate cliques and I hate the norm. Just because I want a African American and Japanese baby make me wrong. Because I feel that with this she/he will have the couarge to succeed. Maybe the good parts of both races will rub of on the child. I will do my best as the parent, but it really depends on the child. Only thing I can do is try not to make the same mistake's my friends that are young mothers and my parents.

You sound very idealistic. In a perfect world, having a multicultural kid would be a good peaceful statement, but in the real world, who is that child going to fit in with? He or she won't be quite black or quite asian either. Kids I knew in high school that were of mixed race couldn't be proud of either race without being a "wannabe". If you plan on "living through your children", you're going to be very disappointed. You're still young! You don't have to be Japanese to enjoy the Japanese culture. Move to Japan, enjoy yourself. You will soon realize that you your children don't live for you. You live for your children. Whether you accept that or not, they will be their own person someday and may crush your dreams for them. If you don't have dreams of your own and go after them yourself, you will regret for the rest of your life.

man reading the first post, i realize, people crazy...i'm serious, this lady wants a japanese baby, just to say she got a japanese baby, a human is a human, right...sso what were you thinking babies were when you thought this up...if i may ask...

humans are humans...as they grow, they make their own decisions...lol

Wow...I only read the first 2 pages of this freaking ignorance. I love how the OP justifies herself with "you people have been living under a rock! everyone's doing it!!!!" Well in that case, let's go bomb some churches and synagogues. If "everyone" is doing it, it must be ok! Yeah...I think my lawyer would use the insanity defense if I said something like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kal3ido (Post 362654)

Personally your opinions are meaningless to me. Once I set of to do it, I am.

So you post on a forum for what reason?

Look, it's cool that you think how the Japanese raise their kids is cool, and I agree, American consumer-culture parenting could use a bit of a makeover. Still, parenting and culture are two seperate issues altogether. You can take any orphan kid, or adopt any race of kid and raise him/her like a Japanese parent would; nothing wrong there. But you raise a kid in a culture you're unfamiliar with, and you're messing with that kid's head so much he's going to be far more confused with his identity as he grows older, more so than most kids going through the same thing. That's just not fair.

I agree with a lot of people here, wanting a certain ethnical adoption is really screwed up. Got any plans on how you're going to explain to him/her as he/she gets older that he's/she's not only adopted, but initially wanted because you dig the culture he's/she's initially from? Culture is a part of someone's and society's lifetime, not part of their DNA.

Well it's obvious that this woman wasn't ready for the blatant truth to hit her in the face, which is why she hasn't returned.

It's also obvious that she knows nothing about sociology, putting so much faith in biology allowing her theoretical Japanese child to be filled with Japanese culture at birth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyororin (Post 360832)

Let me just ask point blank - What, other than selfishness, is your reason for wanting a "Japanese" child?

If you want a biological child, then have a biological child. If you want to adopt and give a child a home, adopt a child in need.

Unless you are part Japanese, which you say you aren`t, there is no reason other than selfishness to pick and choose based on nationality.

I agree.

Kal3ido - You are not Japanese, so you would not be able to teach him/her the same values Japanese natives have. So the child may not grow up to be what you expect. If you are wanting a child, adopt. There are so many orphans that are very deserving of loving families all over the world.

Maybe you should give it more thought?.