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-   -   Would you like to have a japanese boyfriend? Why? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/24161-would-you-like-have-japanese-boyfriend-why.html)

MMM 04-03-2009 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valerybriz (Post 692826)
well... I dont identify my ideal match by the physic anatomy, but by their way of thinking....

I am just trying to understand the "why" of your thinking. You said you were attracted to Japanese men's way of thinking. I am curious as to why.

valerybriz 04-03-2009 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyororin (Post 692821)
Basing a relationship entirely on race is something I hate with a passion. Assuming that someone will fit your criteria for a relationship simply because they are of a certain race or nationality is just as bad as assuming someone will be awful because they are some race or nationality. It`s all racism.

Fall in love with an actual PERSON, not some ideal that you try to squeeze them into.

I never said that i only like japanese peopple.. i said that i prefer japanese peopple, becouse of they way of thinking... and I know they are all diferent, but there are some, that match with my preferenses... but.. YOU CANT CHOSE IN THE LOVE>>> you cant never know, who you gonna fall in love with.. so... the preferenses for japanese man its like if you prefer a tall guy or a smarth one... it happends to all peopple...

valerybriz 04-03-2009 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 692827)
I am just trying to understand the "why" of your thinking. You said you were attracted to Japanese men's way of thinking. I am curious as to why.

well.. It is dificult to explain...
I think you have meet some japanese guys, but the traditional ones, that who are conservative.. they are shy, serious, its dificult to meet inside their feelings, their real feelings, but they are very sincere, they are correct peopple (THERE ARE ALWAYS EXEPTIONS)
well....
i like all that... its a challenge for me its so interesting, if there is any guy that its like i describe before then he maybe likes to me... not metter where he is from..

Nyororin 04-03-2009 04:25 AM

Just out of curiosity, how many real life Japanese guys are you basing this on? How many Japanese guys have you personally gotten close enough with to be able to tell their intimate feelings?

valerybriz 04-03-2009 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyororin (Post 692839)
Just out of curiosity, how many real life Japanese guys are you basing this on? How many Japanese guys have you personally gotten close enough with to be able to tell their intimate feelings?

I have meet around 15 japanese guys and I have really know the intimate feelings of two... (thats the hardest part)

Nyororin 04-03-2009 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valerybriz (Post 692841)
I have meet around 15 japanese guys and I have really know the intimate feelings of two... (thats the hardest part)

By "intimate" - I don`t mean relationship level intimacy, I mean on the level where you actually know them as a person and not just superficially.

If you mean it in this way, you are basically basing your opinion of the males in an entire nation on two people.

I agree that in meeting guys in passing, they`re going to be nice and polite - and yes that does have roots in Japanese culture. But that has very very little to do with their actual personality.

iPhantom 04-03-2009 10:27 AM

Japanese are no different than us.

lol I wonder if japanese girls like foreigners more as well

Nyororin 04-03-2009 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom (Post 692896)
Japanese are no different than us.

lol I wonder if japanese girls like foreigners more as well

In the normal population? Probably about as much as the other way around... Which unless you`re obsessed with another country/culture - is pretty rare.

noodle 04-03-2009 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyororin (Post 692821)
Basing a relationship entirely on race is something I hate with a passion. Assuming that someone will fit your criteria for a relationship simply because they are of a certain race or nationality is just as bad as assuming someone will be awful because they are some race or nationality. It`s all racism.

Fall in love with an actual PERSON, not some ideal that you try to squeeze them into.

In most cases I agree with you... but I wouldn't call it racism for wanting someone from a certain nationality. Take me for example, I am Berber. There aren't that many of us in the world and we have a pretty unique culture. Therefore, when it comes to marraige, I'd want to meet someone from my culture, and my culture is only truely alive in Algeria. This however doesn't mean that I will break up a loving relationship just because the girl I've fallen in love with isn't from Algeria.

There are many cultures for example that only allow marraige within the same culture. Of the top of my head, in Lebanon (I forget the name of the group). I have a very close Lebanese friend who is only allowed to marry a woman from his culture otherwise he will bring great shame to his family. It might sound very silly and archaic to a westerner, but these kind of values are still alive in many parts of the world!

So, it's pretty complicated. I don't think that someones cluture being of great importance neccesarily implies racism. However, I do agree that Love is the most important part. And not any kind of love either!

Nyororin 04-03-2009 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodle (Post 692903)
In most cases I agree with you... but I wouldn't call it racism for wanting someone from a certain nationality. Take me for example, I am Berber. There aren't that many of us in the world and we have a pretty unique culture. Therefore, when it comes to marraige, I'd want to meet someone from my culture, and my culture is only truely alive in Algeria. This however doesn't mean that I will break up a loving relationship just because the girl I've fallen in love with isn't from Algeria.

It is a different story completely when it comes to your own family background and cultural issues. Wanting a relationship with someone from the same background as your own isn`t specifically because of race or nationality. It`s more an issue of background and similarity and a desire to preserve heritage. There is also the possibility that someone sharing the same background will be more accepted by family, and will understand you and your family better.

If you were some other culture, and simply thought that Berber girls were hot/cool/etc, looking little at them as individuals - it would be a type of racism.

A Japanese girl wanting to have a Japanese boyfriend is a whole world different than a (insert random nationality) girl wanting a Japanese boyfriend because she thinks they are "cool".


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