That's fine. If a couple decides to breastfeed a child, that's absolutely fine. It's also fine that a woman should stay home for a couple years to do this. However, to me, that certainly doesn't mean that the woman can't return to work after the few years, and that the man can't stay at home for a few years in her place. To me, a relationship is about balance.

Also, to add another layer to this, how do you feel about single parents? It's hard work, there's no doubt about that, but they manage to fill both roles of "man" and "woman." Men leave work and take care of the house and his child. Women leave the house to make money. Somehow, they make it work. Because of that, I think that - especially when there are TWO people to take care of those many responsibilities - it's easy for men and women to switch off and help each other in everything. Both can go to work, both can take care of the house. Both can ensure their financial future.

Recently, a friend of mine divorced her husband in Japan. They are both Japanese.
She could have received the house, but opted out of it as it was pretty much required that she stay there until her husband could find elsewhere to live and she couldn`t afford the loan payments.
She moved into an apartment. Her husband pays for the apartment. She receives free child care, and a credit toward general living costs. She was able to find a job but is not able to work enough to make the same amount as her former husband due to hours (can`t do overtime because of the kids, etc).

I`d say she received a pretty fair deal, and she isn`t having trouble surviving. Perhaps if she had no skills it might be an issue, but most everyone goes to university in Japan so someone lacking skills is pretty uncommon.

It sounds nice, but in reality doesn`t really make economic sense. It doesn`t matter who starts out staying at home, after the time they are off they will be behind in skill and experience... It will take time for them to get back to 100% of their potential. Where does the money come from to fill in the 30% while they`re still only at 70%? And not just once - children don`t reach adulthood in 4 years. If they take turns staying home until the child is a responsible age, that`s only going to hurt in the long run when it comes to economics.

Single parents have no other choice, and I believe they are doing the best they can in their circumstances. I don`t believe it is the best possible situation for a child though.
If both parents go to work, and they work at the same time - the child is left in the care of someone else for most of the day. If they work one, then the other - they never have any real contact with each other and I believe that would not be a good thing for any relationship.

Er - well, I don't know if spanking needs to come back. There are a lot of adults these days with psychological trauma because of "spankings." But yeah, we can agree that value on raising children is important, and that it doesn't necessarily need to be the mother.

That's good for her. Not many people are as lucky as she is. It's kind of awkward asking about a stranger's personal life, but was she the stay-at-home mother? Did she have a job?

In the USA, I know that with the idea "women should stay at home" comes the idea "women should not work." Working is for men, where I'm from. Because of that, I don't think many women who stay at home are skilled, and can fend for themselves.

That is what child support and alimony are for.

No one places anyone anywhere, we allow ourselves to be placed. How do you explain so many women owning businesses or being bosses? This is sexist thinking on your part. If you want to be a business owner and can't find a husband that will stay home and watch the kids, don't have babies.

I don`t think the situation is quite the same in Japan simply because there is value placed upon the stay-at-home parent, and a broad net of family and area support. (Remember, the one staying at home is part of the community - the one working is part of the company. It`s very hard to lose a community, but if you lose a job the company is gone.)
I think that her situation is pretty normal for divorces in Japan, although obviously not everyone is going to be the same.

She had a job prior to having children, but stayed at home since mid-pregnancy with her first child.

Not everyone gets child support and alimony. I may be wrong, but people need to go to court for that.

I'm not sure where you're from, but where I'm from, society expects that - as a woman - I stay at home. The bosses and CEOs and successful women seen today are the women who fought against what was expected of them. They're women who struggle against sexism, such as the glass-ceiling.

If I personally wanted a child, and was a CEO, and couldn't find a man that wanted to be in a fair partnership, then I would still have a child. Children are raised by single parents all of the time. I wouldn't let others' ignorance stop me from what I want.

Yes, there's value culturally. This means that there can also be value in the community. However, after a person has lost their job in the company or their "job" at home, will their co-workers support them economically? Will the community support them financially?

I'll say it again, I'm not expert on Japanese society when it comes to divorce, but I don't know if Japanese society will ever value the stay-at-home partner economically. Culture is beautiful, but culture has lost out to economics in Japan before - as culture has lost out to economics across many nations and societies. Money is what rules the world now, not culture. And, if the person at home isn't making that money, then they're most likely not going to be valued enough to survive.

The example of your friend shows that this isn't completely black-and-white. I've been assuming that stay-at-home mothers have never had any jobs, which isn't the best assumption. If a person has had a job in the past, then yes, they'll have a better chance of survival. If not, then I doubt they would have many skills - a resume to show - and I doubt they would do very well after the divorce.

Where I live in the USA a lot of value is placed on stay-at-home mothers.

I suppose the hypothetical situation you present happens, and it is awful, and this is why there are courts and alimony. Just because a woman is a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean she doesn't have marketable skills.

A single parent will never completely fill in both roles as a mother and a father. A child needs both. Like it or not, fathers and mothers play different roles in children's lives.

You never answered my question: What successful business has everyone doing everything?