Do you go for looks or personality?
 

While looking for a significant other do you prefer looks or personality and why?For me its their personality hands down since 1)Looks are not everything meaning they may be beautiful but their overall personality can make them ugly 2)With age looks start to fade away

Personality, hands down. Though, I do believe there has to be a little bit of attraction. ;) But I always look for personality...

Does that mean 90% personality and 10% looks or 50% personality and 50% looks?Glad to see we have something in common though

More like...99% personality lol...

Personality and ambition
 

Looks are always a little important, but I hope to end up with someone who has a compatible personality and an ambition to improve the world through science and technology. (Ideally, our aims would complement each others' and include partially overlapping ambitions.)

Being a math and science geek is a must or there's no way it would work.

That is, unless she's rich and is willing to let me fund researchers to achieve my dreams. Assuming multiple such options, personality would win.

99% personality and 1% looks.That means he can be the nicest guy in the world while at the same time look like a Alien/Predator(yes from the movie) and still have a chance with you?Of course I'am only playing around when saying that just trying to make you laugh but that's good to hear you go for personality more than anything else

Hahaha...you did make me laugh...XD Yeah, pretty much...for me anyway...Lol...not everyone's like that of course...XD

I usually try for a bit of both personality and looks but Im mostly with personality wise. Ones personality is what defines someone as to who they are.

I've been with the same person for 20 years this next spring. I went for common interests, intelligence, sense of humor and a good sense of fashion. I guess it worked.

Wow! Congratulations!! That's wonderful!!

it depends on what i want from the girl..........if im looking for a relationship or a friend with bennies.....the looks count but its heavier on the personality side ......if it's just sex looks all the way......:cool: , but sometimes a girl with a snotty attitude is a turn on because i like a little feist when it comes to a girl looking for sex because they tend to give more of fight and i like some competition :vsign: ,and easy girls arent fun -____-

Considering the divorce rates around the world, especially those in western countries, I'd say that far too many people put more weight on the looks than personality.
You find someone you truly love then looks just don't matter. Although since having our kid my wife has packed on a few extra pounds which I am encouraging her to get rid of :D ;)

Personality is definitely the most important, but looks don't hurt either.
I guess the perfect person for me would have a great personality and great looks, but since when do those exist? :P

The girl on the right is my girlfriend.

She enjoys rock music, anime, action movies, videogames such as pokemon and mario bros.

She's really kind, affectionate and has a great sense of humour. I can talk to her about anything and although she dresses and acts like a girly girl, I can talk to her like a bloke if I like.

She's everything I ever wanted in a girl and shes totally gorgeous. I have the best of both worlds :D

I'll show some balls and say looks. Call me shallow, but I'd rather have a partner that looks great and can hold a conversation than a girl I find unnatractive but is a well rounded person. Too many people assume that good looks= stupidity or whatever, but this isn't true.

Can I find a great looking girl who is:
Smart? Yes.
Funny? Yes.
Fun to be with/spontaneous? Yes.

So I'm not going to sell myself short just settle, when I can go for the best. It's this type of thinking that has always made me successful in everything I do.

But for food for thought:
(You can imagine this scenario if you like, in the event that you've never been in this situation)

Say you're out on the street, and you desparately need a phone. You forgot your cell at home, and you're surrounded by a bunch of residential areas, so you can't ask a restaurant and there are no payphones in sight.

On two different corners of the street, you see two men. The man on the left is clean cut, dressed in business attire, and has a briefcase. The man on the right has long, knotted hair, a full beard, and clothes with stains on them. Both men have a cellphone clipped onto their beltloop.

Which man are you going to ask to use their phone?

You know nothing about either men, except for what you can see. In a completely platonic relationship, you associate the businessman as trustworthy and the other man as sketchy. The businessman could be a conartist for we know, but you'll take that risk because of how he looks.

Now let's change the roles. Imagine instead there are two girls (or guys if you wish) standing on the corner. One is a beautiful blonde in a miniskirt, standing tall and looking confident. The other girl has glasses and a hat pulled far down over her face, and is a little hunched over, lacking some confidence.

If you're a heterosexual male, who are you going to ask for the phone now? Most likely the awkward girl. Why? Because she's nonthreatening in a completely different way. You may feel embarrased talking to such a beautiful girl, so you'll bite the bullet and ask the less attractive girl. You know nothing about the beautiful girl, except for what you see. You assume she may be dismissive, but she could be the sweetest girl you'll ever meet.

Too bad you'll never know.

The point is, every healthy relationship starts with physical attraction. It's this attraction that gets you to get up and talk to the guy/girl you're interested in without ever speaking a word to them before. It's this attraction that keeps you waking up to the most beautiful person you've ever seen, without regret.

Personality comes first. I don't really care what a person looks like as long as they wash, lol.

But just because someone is attractive doesn't mean they will have a bad personality. People exist in this world that have both traits.

Thanks honoraryjapanesegirl!

About the "looks" issue. Everyone is more attractive when they're young but everyone will age (look at your girlfriend's or boyfriend's parents and grandparents if you want a sneak peak of the future!) That's why I mentioned sense of fashion. Even when looks fade, a sense of style can help any couple look great well into old age.

Sorry about the late response but I was busy with other daily activities in life.Glad to hear I made you laugh though and true since most(with the keyword being most) people go solely for looks completely disregarding everything else then wonder why their relationship did not work afterwards whenever breaking up

Looks for me. Yeah that's right I'm that shallow.:cool:
Fat cows to the right, skinny giraffe's to the left, give me a swan and skip the silicone boobs.

And that, my friend, is why so many people wind up lonely, with a contrite spirit, and many, many regrets later in life...You've got a great grasp on the concept, and there are few of us who do...congrats, dude... ;)

Thank you for the great grasp compliment

And this is my ticket into natural selection, Alpha male style! With the competition weeded out, more sexy girls for me!:mtongue:

Lol...nice, WTD...

You're welcome, Unknown~!

I hate girls who actually think they're hotter than they are. I hate them so much, I hate them with a passion actually.

My bro has a gf who fits that personality exactly. She ain't ugly, but she's not THAT hot either. And she thinks she's so fucking special because she looks alright. But fuck her, she ain't that hot, and nobody likes her except my brother who gets to fuck her 3-5 times a week.

Not even my mother likes her. His gf is officially thrown out of the house, but she keeps coming back. She's like an annoying fly, it only goes away temporarily but it keeps coming back annoying the shit out of u.

KungMarting Agreed!! There are many guys like that around here too. They think they're so hot so they try to hit on me and keep coming back even after I've said no several times. If I say no, means I'm not interested and on a general basis also NOT ATTRACTED, which means you're really not THAT hot. Lol


As for the original topic, I would say a combination of both looks and personality is important. When I met my boyfriend, we were hanging out just as friend. He had told me before that he thought I was beautiful, but he wasn't really "my type of guy". Short, smaller, red head, etc, etc. I didn't think he was ugly, I thought he was cute, actually, but I didn't feel any physical attraction right away. I got to know him, his personality and things developped from there.

Theory proven! lol

I think for the most part we all look at how attracted we are to the other person which infinitely manifests itself at how we look at ourselves and others.

For most people it's a purely physical one while briskly telling ourselves it is the personality that we are interested in.

But how well do we really know someone after 5min.......after 10min.......1 day.......a month....a year...etc. For the most part human nature esteems that our persona (pre-Shin Megumi Tensai term :D) projects the ideal personality that we believe ourselves to be. And unlike social ques when we are at work/school/family/etc, these qualities rarely change during the intermissions of our lives.

It is a system of facades that we project to each other because we desire to be recognized as individuals and as masters of our livelihood(alt definition) by way of tenacious ideals that we continue to bath ourselves in, when asked morally charged questions about our character. More so when it involves those we anticipate are attracted to or we find attractive.

Which comes back to...

Physical attraction being the main proponent for attraction in general. Simply because being attracted to someone's personality is not something we can do in a matter of minutes or even days. (Sometimes even months. lol) Simply because people do not illustrate themselves as they are, they devise personalities based on what they think they are or should be. In order to truly be attracted to someone's personality we would need to be able to see the truth of who they are. Something not many people can do.....successfully.

Of course the refutation to that would be

"But Vith, what people choose to personalize themselves with in a way DOES tell us what kind of personality they have."

Ok fine, Yes. But saying that personality is what you look for as a means of attraction is not the same as being attracted to the aspiring personality of someone's personality. That's like drinking chocolate milk made by a giant chocolate bar. (How does the chocolate bar know what chocolate milk tastes like unless he has had chocolate milk himself which would make him a cannibal, would you drink milk made by a giant chocolate cannibalistic monster bar? I didn't think so.)

I'd like to point out that through out that wall of text you will notice the words, for the most part, and for most people......a plethora of vagueness.

Simply because not everyone is the same. I'd either be stupid or brilliant if I grouped a mass populous of people into one generalization. Probably the former.

Some people do try to look for personality...in it's pure-est form. But there are too few. It would have to be a man or woman from the last century. (Pride jdrama ref.)And it brings up a good point too but that for another time. If you want a statistic..... .5 out of 10 people. Yes half a person.

And it's not like there is anything wrong with physical attraction or even physical attraction with the personality factor.


What we are attracted to in others is by no way subjective to the "objective eye" of others (*makes the quotation signs with his fingers for comedic emphasis*). If you liked the way someone's hair floats under a midnight sun (byakuyakou jdrama ref.:3)then who am I to say your any less of a person for it, who is anyone. (with all things, there is an exception to everything.....child molestation.....etc etc.....catch my drift)

Having a physical attraction is by no means any more shallow, (or rather capricious, since the connotation of shallow in that concept is a capricious intent over a physical desire) any more capricious then say a person who is attracted to a personality that is docile in order to satisfy a desire to be controlling. What is subjective is the moral value of our attraction. Are we attracted to them because of something they have or something we need? If it is something we need then I say your not really into them. Your more into yourself.

And the refutation to that would be

"But Vith, isn't the desire to be with someone attractive also a need?"

Ok sure. But having an attraction for someone physically attractive and having a need for an attraction to someone physically attractive are two different things. The latter being something you need a doctor for and the former being a response that you yourself are exposing willingly with the consent you yourself give yourself.


Anyway...back to the original question. *(rofl....)

For me it's the elbows. How clean are there elbows. Most people don't wash their elbows, how clean someone's elbows are is an indication of what kind of person they are. A lazy person would never clean their elbows and an honest person would. So I guess it's a little of both, physical and personality. Physical for the elbows part and personality for what it entails if they do clean them or not. My gf has the cleanest elbows money can buy, and it's not because I put her up to it. She just likes the sound her elbows make when I take her out to nice places.....even family dinners.(lolz)



And about the hypothetical story.

I'd go with neither, what are two guys in the middle of the night doing at two street corners, just standing there? I wouldn't touch the business guy, he sounds like he is waiting to get picked up by witness protection. People like that are very jumpy and he might shoot me before I get to ask him about his blackberry. And the rough looking fellow that sounds like a murdering gypsy. Wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. Say what? Stains? Naa, forget that. He's the type of guy that makes people disappear and end up on the back of chocolate milk cartoons.....the cannibalistic kind. Instead I'd roam the houses and look for children toys. If I find a house with some kids toys on the front lawn, then I'd inspect the car or cars. Look for children seats and look at their tire treads. Do they have a 9 to 5? Look for paint wear and look for key marks on the car door. If you answered yes to all these questions. Chances are they are probably well-mannered and decent folk trying to raise their kids. They probably won't shoot me as I usually carry ID and look somewhat decent on most occasions. Knock on their door and explain my situation. What your cellphone has minutes? Here's 20 bucks. I really need to make this phone call. For the most part if you don't BS people they will try to help if they can. Course I could get the door shut in my face but I'd just try another house. I'll probably get someone nice after say house number 3. People who raise kids understand that life is tuff. More so then the guy who lives across the street with no kids and an angry wife.

In the second scenario I'd still go with neither too.

Two women on a street corner?
The first one....I'm sorry but she sounds like a hooker. A miniskirt? In the middle of the night? For most parts of the world, night time usually means a bit of cold wind. No one is going to stand outside on a corner with a miniskirt braving light frostbite unless they have to. And if they have to, it only means one of two things. Either this is a job or someone is making you do it. Which in retrospect leads to one conclusion lol. She's waiting to get picked up by her pimp. So I'm not gonna talk to her because I don't want her pimp to think I'm fraternizing in front of his establishment. Pimps can be very stubborn employers, and it will be difficult to explain to him that I wasn't looking for service, just the service from her cellphone without braving a donkey punch.

Now the Pimp's donkey punch isn't nearly as scary as the girl with a hunchback and a hat. I've seen too many movies where women that have hooded covered appearances turn out to be either The Gremlins in disguise (1997 movie about midget mystical monsters that terrorize america) or a super famous serial killer that I didn't know about because I didn't live in the area. Her so called lack of confidence isn't as noticeable as my extreme confidence...that she..WILL kill me. If I even look in her direction. Therefore again it's back to wandering the houses for me. :)

I completely agree with what you said before, but you're breaking the fourth wall too much with the hypothetical situation. This isn't a "check the surroundings for signs of children= respectable family thing." The point was, if you had to choose between the two different people in each example, who would you choose? Neither wasn't an option. The majority of the time, though, people will ask the person they think presents themselves in a manner they're attracted to, platonically.

To which I totally agree.

But what's a hypothetical situation that doesn't have it's fourth wall broken, really? :)

And I think you have to see how silly it would be to suggest that a hypothetical situation underlining the aspects of something that could possibly happen in order to illustrate the common pitfalls of the human mind yet at the same time not allow the deviance of reality to coexist within said hypothetical sets of existences; it sort of curbs a smile to one side.

But I only did so for comedic effect, not as an attempt to refute in variation.

I think you've nailed it on the head with your example but only because like you said you aren't allowing the existence of choice outside of what is available.

It is logically sound to close off any options from any hypothetical situation other then what the situation poses as it's question. Otherwise there would be no way to truly arrive at a conclusion of said situation and the concept of a hypothetical situation would lose it's meaning. But it isn't creditable to expect people to only choose what is given to them by it's very nature.

Again it is simply a very tiny refraction in logic of what I was using as humorist-ic fodder. Because if we choose to put back that "4th wall", you are absolutely correct.

I was only trying to leave a good laugh on the aftertaste of those that actually decided to read the wall of text in front of them. :D

I actually skipped over most of that wall of text.. sorry lol. What an effort to go to tho, well done! ;) I agree with the point however that appearance is what we initially pay most attention to. But of course its also true that alot of the hottest people are not so nice to talk to... So I'd say for me its 50/50; someone as good looking as me but with a good heart.

LOL, thankx.

You'd be surprised how much time you can find at work to do things. lol jk.

lol it's okay if you skipped roflmao. I didn't think anyone would bother really lol. But I didn't know how to drive what I was trying to say in a smaller form. I'm just long-winded like that. LOL

Haha me too sometimes... I seem quiet and shy at first but just don't get me going on a topic... blah blah blah.. its harder in typing tho ;P

I would say I go for both ^^

Whether it is for significant other or just freinds, his looks will catch my attention, but the personality is the only thing that will keep it.

I will notice any good looking man, especially with almond eyes, but its rather like appreciating a good piece of art. It will not make a relationship. Often that hunk will walk over and speak, then its instant "oh, no thanks". on the other hand an average, or even unattractive guy may start up an interesting conversation that will make him seem a little better looking after a while.

I got for both, but while looks will attract me to someone at first, personality is the main thing I go for. The girl I meet and I have to at least have some thing in commons even if we do have our differences. I believe that opposites attract, but like I said, there has to be some shared interests like movies or sports (which I don't like a whole lot, except for soccer, race car driving, basketball, and MMA....baseball's ok, too).

So just ignore them, they'll obviously leave u alone if u don't pay any attention..............

Difference between u and me in this situation is that u have all the control, I don't. It's not my gf, it's my brothers gf, and he's desperate like hell, so he probably won't leave her ..

<<<<<< I agree.

No one is a bad person just because he/she finds an other person attractive..physically. Hey, no one even will catch anybody with: Hi!! I can see you have a good personality, that impresses me..so wanna have a drink??
....ridiculous.
So I think there's no prob with physical attraction at first sight....then comes the personality.
When you get to know each other better it will turn out that you are ok together or not....

..but that's just an oppinion.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to reiterate. It's not like I enjoy talking to brick walls, but there's no way to really tell someone's personality without having physical chemistry first. You have to be interested in the person physically to get to know their personality. And you're right, if you end up talking an you're not compatible, no harm done.

I just think most guys are full of crap when they answer "personality" because they want to seem righteous. If I had a penny for every time I've heard "...I'm not your typical guy..."

I still agree....Most of the people answer 'personality' coz they think this is the right answer....or it sounds good...but to say the truth I don't think they wiil act like that.
They are still humans and still are urder the spell of biochemistry....and its a fact..no one can act against it.




:mtongue: