I'm sure she can defend herself if she think it's necessary, I might not read all of her letters or see what she mean, but I think you're missing her main characteristic. BTW yes she didn't use substitute mother and I use it not to describe hers but to describe my stand-point, I thought it was pretty clear, apparently it wasn't...

And I did follow my dreams in the past, and they weren't exactly about making money or having one of the most carrier oriented job in the world.

You guys are young, we'll speak in five years, when you'll already live your dream-lives, I'm off to this subject. :ywave:

So what is actually your opinion? That Suki is selfish because she's career minded? Why aren't career-minded men selfish?

I don't really understand your stance on this.

I hope you don't see us a silly kids or anything, since that does seem to be a bit condescending :D Well, in the wise words of my parents "Be selfish-- your twenties are for YOU" and I agree with that very much so. I don't intend to have kids or get married til after I'm 30. And I know about the toll having babies has on older women but my mom had me when she was 28 (almost 29) and I'm the oldest of 4 kids, my mom had my youngest sister when she was 37, and there weren't any problems with any of her prenancies.

Regardless of whether you have a career or not, I think you should wait to have kids-- be as selfish as you want and get it out of your system then have kids when you can really devote the necessary time to them. I've babysat a lot of kids and you can really tell when a child has an older parent, they tend to be much more mature and better behaved for their age. Moreover, it's a shame to be young and beautiful, wanting to go out and have fun but be unable to because you have kids. It ain't fair to you or the child IMO. So I shall induldge in my selfishness for the next 10 years or so :mtongue:

Anyway, if I'm lucky and I end up having the kind of job I'm after, I won't have to ever stop working and will be able to do it from home for a few months during maternity leave. But I do expect to have a husband who can stay home and look after our kid if my job demands me to be elsewhere at some point.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------SUKI WROTE that she expects her husband to stay at home if her job demands she has to be elsewhere.

Maybe He will not want that. You had better tell the man you marry-- If you do-- your future plans so that he knows what your expectations are.


Of course none of this is my business-- otherslead their lives as they wish hopefully it will work out as she wishes-- but sometimes Mother Nature does have a say in all this.


over here, many grand parents are expected to look after the children-- but why should they HAVE TO?

Its not easy looking after young children when one gets older. many daughters Do expect it as a right-- but I disagree with that expectation.

Help out by all means-- but have to look after them all the time?

-

Not at all!

Does his feelings on the subject trump her's. I don't think so.

HMM shouldn't it be mutual?

HMM shouldn't it be mutual?

anyway good luck to you all. it is your life after all.

Yeah, just like I'm gonna be the one staying if he can't do it cause of his job. I said share responsabilities equally, that means we share the task of raising our children. What's wrong with that?

Same reason why a woman should/should not do it.

When did I say career is all that matters...? I didn't. Moreover, I said I'd sacrifice my career for my children anytime if I had to, but I hope it never comes down to that.

I went to day care and I didn't grow up to be a traumatized child. I got to play with other kids while my mom was out doing her job which she needed to do in order to provide me with all the best, which she did, so I'm thankful she didn't quit her job for me.

Misa answered this one for me so I'm quoting her:

And I never said I didn't want children, all I said is, AS OF NOW, my career is what matters the most to me.

Yeah, they can't handle a woman being successful in what they call a man's world. Whatever. Bunch of sexist hypocrites.

There are a lot of big posts trying to make some sort of logical or scientific sense of whatever's going on. I think who ever said 'maybe things are a much more simpler' is right. No matter what, people are entitled to like who they like. Whether it's in their race or not. Whatever factors are involved just influence a person's like or dislike for someone. I just hope that people find what they need in who they're looking for.

*plooka plooka*