tell me if you think this is good

KohanaIto · (#1 (**permalink**))

ok so basically this is the idea for my latest manga. i just dreamt it up. about five years ago lol. so it goes like this:
its set in a dimension called OniGea so basically the plot goes like this. in the war all but ONE immortal were killed and the rest reincarnated into humans. So Z (name suggestions would be appreciated) sets out to find her kind and unite them against the oppresive Legial empire. Whos main goal is to exterminate every creature that is not human. Along the way she meets up with a half demon prince named Christian and together they set out to retrieve their forbidden past. In the end Christian is killed and Z creates the abarharaki *not stolen from escaflowne* determined not to let any one else suffer as she has. she shuts herself away from the world for centuries and no one knows who she really is but the abarharaki do their jobs and more are recruted including Sari, Myna, Rica, Cindi, Masi, Ray, Kyushin, Moca, Derek, and Ichigo. ok so i decided all the names can change. just leave me suggestions eh?.

ps go to this img to see the rough draft of the main characters
S4010028.jpg - Image - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

name ideas for Z:
fayn[new name for Z]

Story:

OniGea...once a beautiful land, now a fortress of destruction. Neighboring countries fought frightening battles against the Legial empire, but in the end it was all futile. The empire won and we were thrown into dust. Most of my kind have been reincarnated into human bodies, still with the souls of the immortals. We have Otome to thank for that. The once great queen of the immortals, Otome was beheaded by her own...well thats a different matter all together. It is a sin to hate the one from whom you were breed. So I cannot hate Otome. Yes, that is right, I am Fayn Juna Leambriose...princess of the immortal kingdom.

I remember that night so vivedly. Beneath the stars, we were one...and yet he is no more and I am here...alone. Though I am not alone I have them, The Abarharaki. The immortal Assasins, one hand dipped in the blood of others, the other lighting the way for a new world. That is our job. Some have resentment for their lot in life and just want to be normal, that is impossible. The elements within their bodies would create havok untrained. That is why I will watch for them. From the heavens I can see all that is there...and all that will be.

BOOM!

"Shit!" The silver haired beauty sat up. Her ears alert, but her eyes blinded. She felt her face and pulled away the bandage....

"Your awake." Looking over she saw the outline of a person.

"Come princess you must escape, the Empire is attacking!" the figure urged her in hushed tones.

"then they have found me...no?" The crimson eyes gleamed with tears in the light streaming from the window.

"Now do not despair, one day you will be safe, and the empire will fall!" The last was spoke with conviction, and longing.

A faded hand brushed her hair away and she was pulled into a hug, then shoved out the window...

"Now fly fayn, FLY!!!!!!" Miame, her nursemaid since the days of old yelled from the window out of which Fayn had just fell.

Feathers flew and wings as white as ivory snow extended from Fayns back as she plumeted toward the ground, with one great gust she lifted herself into the air and flew into the night...arrows surrounded her flying past and fire from guns wizzed past her ears, but still she kept her sights ahead, knowing better than to look back and see the destruction she had caused.

that is all i have for now...enjoy...
xox
Andie

HIalchemist · (#2 (**permalink**))

I'd buy it. although Z should be changed to something cute like Hime,megami,otome ect

SaginumaEki · (#3 (**permalink**))

Question,

Why do the names need to be Japanese?

Also, this sounds like a mixture of Harry Potter and Star Wars. It's like Voldemort is in a far away galaxy.

KohanaIto · (#4 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by HIalchemist

I'd buy it. although Z should be changed to something cute like Hime,megami,otome ect

do you have a certain suggestion? cause it would really be appreciated ^_^

KohanaIto · (#5 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaginumaEki

Question,

Why do the names need to be Japanese?

Also, this sounds like a mixture of Harry Potter and Star Wars. It's like Voldemort is in a far away galaxy.

the names don't need to be japanese. actually most of them are friends of mine and derived from celtic text ^_^ it helps to be irish XD

and i am a huge star wars fan and a harry potter fan but i wasn't trying to make it sound anything like that *sighs* but it may be similar in the original draft. i dunno. but ill try to make it not like them ^_^ neither actually came to mind when i was writing that, actually InuYasha came to mind lolz. so i changed it a bit so that it didnt go to that.