Hello. Could you please help me?

[kyorochan]

Hello
I have an assignment to paraphrase and summarize the following sentences:

Alexander's greatest single achievement was his emancipation of some forty million Russian serfs, a deed which win him the title of "Tsar Liberator." To visit a rural Russian community in the earlier nineteenth century was like stepping back into the Middle Ages. Nine-tenths of the land was held by something less than one hundred thousand noble families. The serfs, attached to the soil, could be sold with the estates to new landlords, conscripted into the nobleman's household to work as domestic servants, or even sent to the factories in the towns for their master's profit. Though some nobles exercised their authority in a kindly and interfered insolently in their private affairs and family relations. A serf could not marry without his master's consent, could not leave the estate without permission, and might be pursued, brought back, and punished if he sought to escape. He lived at the mercy of his master's caprice.

I have to paraphrase the first four sentences, which are

Alexander's greatest single achievement was his emancipation of some forty million Russian serfs, a deed which win him the title of "Tsar Liberator." To visit a rural Russian community in the earlier nineteenth century was like stepping back into the Middle Ages. Nine-tenths of the land was held by something less than one hundred thousand noble families. The serfs, attached to the soil, could be sold with the estates to new landlords, conscripted into the nobleman's household to work as domestic servants, or even sent to the factories in the towns for their master's profit.

and I have to summarize the whole sentences that I wrote, which are until " He lived at the mercy of his master's caprice."

I tried to paraphrase and summarize them.

Paraphrasing:

Alexander had helped about forty million serfs by emancipation of the serfs. This was his superior conduct. The early rural nineteenth century’s appearance seemed to time-travel to the Middle Ages. Noble families were ruling nine-tenths of land. The serfs were worked vassals and were sent to the factory for the profit of the master and worked for their masters.

Summarizing:

In early nineteen century Russia had slavery and slaves were worked for their masters, who were nobles. Some nobles were kind to serfs; however, several nobles handled their serfs cruelly. The serfs did things as their masters told, so the serfs could not do things that they wanted to do. These serfs were existed about forty million, but there was a person who stood up to help them. That was Alexander and he declared emancipation of the serfs.

Could you please help me if I have some grammar mistakes or not smooth English?

Thank you!!
Thank you for reading!

[MMM]

What did they tell you is the difference between paraphrasing and summarizing?

[kyorochan]

Originally Posted by MMM

What did they tell you is the difference between paraphrasing and summarizing?

Paraphrasing is use my own words to tell the same thing that I want to paraphrase.
Summarizing is to summarize the whole sentences by my own words. Suppose to use short sentences. This is kind of conclusion...

[Aota]

Originally Posted by kyorochan

Hello
Paraphrasing:

Alexander had helped about forty million serfs by emancipation of the serfs. This was his superior conduct. The early rural nineteenth century’s appearance seemed to time-travel to the Middle Ages. Noble families were ruling nine-tenths of land. The serfs were worked vassals and were sent to the factory for the profit of the master and worked for their masters.

Summarizing:

In early nineteen century Russia had slavery and slaves were worked for their masters, who were nobles. Some nobles were kind to serfs; however, several nobles handled their serfs cruelly. The serfs did things as their masters told, so the serfs could not do things that they wanted to do. These serfs were existed about forty million, but there was a person who stood up to help them. That was Alexander and he declared emancipation of the serfs.

Could you please help me if I have some grammar mistakes or not smooth English?

Thank you!!
Thank you for reading!

Hello to you, too! :]

I wouldn't say "This was his superior conduct." I'd rather hear something along the lines of... "This brought him fame, and title of "Tsar Liberator". Or something. Superior conduct just doesn't sound right. And I wouldn't use work so often. That tends to get boring. :X Maybe toiled? And "were worked"? Is that right? It sounds great though. Just some minor revision. Also, Firefox shows there were no spelling errors. :]

[kyorochan]

Originally Posted by Aota

Hello to you, too! :]

I wouldn't say "This was his superior conduct." I'd rather hear something along the lines of... "This brought him fame, and title of "Tsar Liberator". Or something. Superior conduct just doesn't sound right. And I wouldn't use work so often. That tends to get boring. :X Maybe toiled? And "were worked"? Is that right? It sounds great though. Just some minor revision. Also, Firefox shows there were no spelling errors. :]

Okay!
Thank you for helping me
I am learning so much about English here ^^

[MMM]

You should avoid using the same word twice as you did with "serfs" in the first sentence. I would even go so far as to say I would avoid using the same subject in two sentences in a row (using "he" or "they" instead in the second sentence.

[kyorochan]

Originally Posted by MMM

You should avoid using the same word twice as you did with "serfs" in the first sentence. I would even go so far as to say I would avoid using the same subject in two sentences in a row (using "he" or "they" instead in the second sentence.

Okay! I will avoid using the same word in same sentence. ^^ I'll change that to the different word.
Thank you for helping me