Please correct my French Essay!

[Natts]

Hi! I'm a finnish student, I've been studying French for two year now. I had to write a movie review of a French film, in French. This essay might help me raise my grade on French, so I really would appreciate if some native, or good, French speaker could check my review and correc it for me. I'm in a hurry, I have to give it back tomorrow! O__O

Au cinéma

J'ai regardé le film « Huit Femmes », c'est un drame-revue français. Ce n'est pas mon première fois que j'ai regardé ce film, j'ai voir ce au télévision.
Le film dire à huit femmes quelle arriver à la maison du Gaby, Marcel et leur filles Suzon et Catherine. Ils prépare à fêter Noël avec la belle-mère Mamy, la tante Augustine, la belle-sœur Pierrette, la femme de chambre Louise et la cuisiner Madame Chanel. Les femmes parlent en bas, quand Catherine trouve leur père mort. Tout le monde sont anéanti et une question grimper: quelle est meurtrier?
Le film est palpitant, beau et le musique est brillant. Les acteurs sont tout femmes, le homme unique est Marcel, et on ne voit pas lui face. Le français que ils parlent à le film est clair, donc le élevé français peut comprendre quelque chose.
J'ai aimé le film beaucoup et je recommander ce pour tout le monde!

In cinema

I watched the movie "Eight women", it's a French drama-musical. It wasn't my first time, I have seen the movie from television.
The movie is about eight women who arrive to the home of Gaby, Marcel and their two daughters Suzon and Catherine. They prepare to celebrate christmas together with their grandmother Mamy, aunt Augustine, sister-in-law Pierrette, chamber maid Louis and cook madame Chanel. The women are talking downstairs when Catherine finds their dad dead. Everyone's upset and a question pops up: who is the murderer?
The movie is exciting, beautiful and the music is brilliant. All the actors are women, the only man is Marcel, they didn't show his face. The French they speak in the movie is clear, so French-students can understand something.
I liked the movie very much and recommend it to everyone!


...sorry, my Frecnh sucks >___<

[Sashimister]

Originally Posted by Natts

...sorry, my Frecnh sucks >___<

It does. But the bigger problem is that you didn't even try to conjugate some of the verbs, which is out of the question for a French-learner.

[VinceDN]

Dear Natts,

I'll try to help out. I'm a Dutch native but am studying French, English and Spanish. My grammar isn't perfect, but I think I could chip in a few corrections. This post will be edited a few times as I go through the text. I'll give a small explanation each time I find something so you understand the mistakes that you make. Still, I *highly advise* you check a more authoritive source, the guys over at WordReference have a lot of French natives so you could ask on their forums to help you out.

Anyhow, ahem

Au cinéma

J'ai regardé le film « Huit Femmes », c'est un drame-revue français. Ce n'est pas ma première fois que j'ai regardé ce film,

Fois is a feminin word. The sentence is more-or-less correct, but sounds kinda dull, I'd personally suggest

C'était pas la première fois que je regardais...

although I'm not sure myself if the boldlined verb is best put into passé composé or imparfait (this depends on what you're trying to say)

'ai voir ce au télévision.

Crime against word order! in french it's Sujet-COD-Verbe-etc. So corrected

Je l'ai déja vue au télévision

. I added 'déja' because you 'already' saw it on television

Le film s'agit de huit femmes qui s'arrivent à...

In French, we say 'Un film/un livre s'agit de qqe chose', English equivalent 'it handles *topic*'.

EDIT: Looks like I got ninja-posted . Cool, I'll leave the correction to Shashimi then, but I do agree what he said: You're making an awful lot of grammatical errors, especially when it comes to verbs. I suggest keeping a Petit Robert by hand if you have one, and keep practicing! . I can imagine it's not easy to come from a Scandinavian language and go Roman, so don't worry, you'll learn (and so will I )

V

[Natts]

Thank you so much for helping me out! Believe it or not, my grade in French is 10 (=A)! That must be because others suck more than I do xD
But this is the first time I've written an essay-kind of text in French, we haven't been taught that much yet...and for a Finnish person it is kind of difficult

Thank you!

Edit: This is how it looks like now:

Au cinéma

J'ai regardé le film « Huit Femmes », c'est un drame-revue français. Ce n'est pas ma première fois que je vois ce film, je l'ai déjà vue au télévision.
Le film dire à huit femmes quelle arrivent à la maison du Gaby, Marcel et leur filles Suzon et Catherine. Ils prépare à fêter Noël avec leur belle-mère Mamy, Augustine, sœur du Gaby, Pierrette sœur du Marcel, la femme de chambre Louise et la cuisiner Madame Chanel. Les femmes parlent en bas, quand Catherine trouve leur père mort. Tout le monde sont anéanti et une question grimper: quelle est le meurtrier?
Le film est palpitant et beau, et le musique est brillant. Les acteurs sont toutes femmes, l'homme unique est l'acteur de Marcel, et on ne voit pas sa face. Le français que ils parlent à le film est clair, donc une élevé qui étudie français peut comprendre quelque chose.
J'ai aimé le film beaucoup et je le recommande pour tout le monde!

I had to use some easier ways to tell stuff that you adviced, because we haven't been taught that difficult stuff yet... but it looks much better now

[TalnSG]

Cette version is quite readable, maisI have not used ma francais dans plus ans, except to read menus and curse at surly waiters.

I question the used of "grimper" in "et une question grimper:" a bit. I undestood it well, but depending on the level of the reader they may not.

C'est bon!

[Natts]

Yea, that was the only verb I found from my dictionary....if anyone has any better idea to replace that, it would be great!

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by Sashimister

It does. But the bigger problem is that you didn't even try to conjugate some of the verbs, which is out of the question for a French-learner.

Geez Sashimister, how many languages do you know?!

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by Natts

Yea, that was the only verb I found from my dictionary....if anyone has any better idea to replace that, it would be great!

Can you phrase it in English, first? I would not want to alter your meaning or phrasing anymore than necessary.

The common, but cliche, phrase in English would be "one question remained", but that gives no sense of the question becoming more important as "grimper" alludes to.

[Ryzorian]

Only thing I could do is give you the Americanized version of said French Movie. Wich would prolly be considered vulger in Paris or something.

[blackscroll]

dutch as well, so my french isn't great
I made some changes the way I think it sounds better


le film parle de huite femmes qui arrivent...
Elles préparent ....

Tout le monde devient anéanti et une question se pose aux femmes: qui est le meurtrier?

Les acteurs sont presque tous des femmes, sauf Marcel (l'unique homme dans l'histoire) et on ne voit jamais son visage.

Le français qu'ils parlent à le film est clair, donc une élevé qui étudie français peut comprendre quelque chose.

J'ai adoré ce film et je le recommande à tout le monde!