Host student family wants to pay for us to go to Japan!?!

PapaG · (#1 (**permalink**))

Hey everyone

We had a host student stay with us for 3 weeks back in 2007. The other day I got an email asking my sister and myself to go and visit them in Kyushu, however the student's parents were prepared to pay the airfare (from Australia for both of us).

Of course, we are extremely reluctant to accept because we do not expect her parents to foot the bill for our little holiday in Japan. Does anyone know if it is common for Japanese people to make similar sorts of requests (even if they cannot/can afford it) and what would be the best way to tell them we do not want them to pay for us without offending them.

Don't get me wrong I would love to go and I'm really grateful that they have offered, but like I said we can't expect them to pay for us.

Cheers

Tangram · (#2 (**permalink**))

As far as I know, it would probably be rude to deny the gift solely on the basis of 'we can't accept your money.' Do you know whether or not they can afford it?

PapaG · (#3 (**permalink**))

Her father owns quite a large supermarket/department store. So yes they probably can afford it.

SHAD0W · (#4 (**permalink**))

I agree with Tangram, go for it dude, enjoy!

noodle · (#5 (**permalink**))

Rather than accept for them to pay for everything, just suggest you paying for the flight, and them taking you in just like you did for their child!

YukisUke · (#6 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodle

Rather than accept for them to pay for everything, just suggest you paying for the flight, and them taking you in just like you did for their child!

I agree with noodle. You could do it that way.

Ff7rockerman · (#7 (**permalink**))

ya sure and i agree with all of you other people

PapaG · (#8 (**permalink**))

It's only for about a week though. And to be honest if we had to pay for the airfares we would rather spend a month or so in Japan with my parents as well.

Nagoyankee · (#9 (**permalink**))

Being a Japanese daddy myself, I can pretty much relate to this father. If he said it, he meant it. He wouldn't have said it in the first place if he couldn't afford it or didn't really mean it literally. I'll be honest. I know you were very much surprised to hear the offer, but it doesn't surprise me at all. I'd probably do the same if I were in his position. Try to think of it as a Japanese style of hospitality.

Now, I understand how you feel about accepting it, but I think you will disappoint this family deeply if you decline quickly. So email again to tell them how you feel honestly and humbly ask if it would be really OK for you to accept the offer. I'm sure he'll reply saying "Don't worry about anything.".

YukisUke · (#10 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nagoyankee

Being a Japanese daddy myself, I can pretty much relate to this father. If he said it, he meant it. He wouldn't have said it in the first place if he couldn't afford it or didn't really mean it literally. I'll be honest. I know you were very much surprised to hear the offer, but it doesn't surprise me at all. I'd probably do the same if I were in his position. Try to think of it as a Japanese style of hospitality.

Now, I understand how you feel about accepting it, but I think you will disappoint this family deeply if you decline quickly. So email again to tell them how you feel honestly and humbly ask if it would be really OK for you to accept the offer. I'm sure he'll reply saying "Don't worry about anything.".

I heard that Japanese hospitality is very how should I say... terse: to the point. If they say they will pay for you then they will pay for everything. Let them repay your kindness. Relax yourself.