Ungrateful

[MissMisa]

To be honest, that is just plain rude. I can totally sympathise with you spending so much time helping someone out, for them to throw it back in your face. It's really not worth spending anymore time dwelling on. Traveling can be scary especially for somewhere like Japan which is very culturally different, but that's no excuse for her to behave in the way she did. If you get an apology, I do think you should accept it, but if you don't then maybe it'd be best to part ways.

[LuckyLuck]

That happens to me a lot. I've done a lot of traveling in my day and I'll warn someone about the pros and cons, then they'll actually travel and come running back to me all irritated. You just have too shrug it off, sometimes it's harder for some people to get used to a totally different environment, they're not meaning to be awful, their just nervous and shaken up.

[pumpum]

Originally Posted by Rogozhin

Has anyone here helped someone, only to have them spit the dummy and take out their frustration on you? Recently?

I met this person through a Japanese club we have at uni. I got on well with this person and I used to give her regular help with her Japanese homework. I told her about a good translation dictionary (which I ended up getting dad to buy for her) and tried to include her in my Japanese group. I even told her of a few customs and things to be aware of when she goes over there.

So she ends up going, I send her an email to ask her how it's all going (to which she doesn't reply). I chase her up on msn and she just lets loose a spiel about all the things that are wrong with the country...my phone won't connect to my computer, trains are crowded, banks are crappy blah blah. Then she fires a few shots at me, saying stuff like "the next time you brag about Japan, you should probably mention all this shit".

It makes me angry (and even feel stupid) that I've put myself out this much for someone so ungrateful and childish.

Dude ! that is a classic case of - "you do someone a good deed, and whilst you never expect a thank-you - you definitely never expect a f*** you"

It happens loads ! ungrateful bastards!

although i must say my gf calls me the most ungrateful bastard on earths surface !

[Hobby]

she is bad

[Nyororin]

I agree with MMM here - this is a pretty normal thing.

For a while there I was helping quite a few people prepare for and make it to Japan. Every single time it ended like that or worse. Now I keep my distance unless they very strongly appear to be different (like the most recent person I helped out. No regrets there...)

It`s a gap between expectations and reality. They have high expectations and only hear the things you say that support those expectations. And then when something isn`t exactly as they expected, it all comes crashing down and they blame you for not telling them ahead of time that something they thought was wrong. Of course, without psychic powers you couldn`t have known what they were thinking.

Sad as it is, this happens all the time.

[snowmanf]

I think MMM and MissMisa got ti right.

It could be scary being 'lost' in a place so different.
However, that doesnt excuse the attacks at all.

Whatver happens between the two of you is what it is.
Just remember you did the right thing so be happy.
I can guess you're not the kind of person who does nice things to be 'cool' or to get something back so why worry?

It will only be sad if you give up helping other people because of this bad experience, so please dont.

... and yes, I've had this experience too.

It was kind of ironic in the end but thats a long long story I wont bore you with even though its a related subject. Now I look back and it seems like a funny story because I didn't let it change me.

Hope that helps.

[Hyakushi]

Well did you mention to her about the over crowding and bank taxes??? did you tell her about everything about japan or only the good things?.
Sounds like people being unprepaird to me but idk <_<.

[KikiBunny23]

Originally Posted by Rogozhin

Has anyone here helped someone, only to have them spit the dummy and take out their frustration on you? Recently?

Hehe, just now. I helped her to get w/ her b/f, helped her when her ex broke up w/ her, when she blew up on her parents due to stress.

All I get is a "f*ck you b*tch" and a "ill hurt him. i didn't want to but i dont want yall friends" oh and throw in a little "you wish oyu were like me" with a sprinkle of "you were never a good enough friend" and "if you cant handle me at my worst then you dont deserve me at my best"

so i just said a little ta-ta thanked her for all the help she has brought and wished her luck on trying to make her b/f stop being my friend

[xX2DXx]

Yes almost all the time people throw a big hissy fit just because I correct them on something they said, not like I'm going to sit there and let them blabber about something wrong.
Once this chick was talking about martial arts and said the japanese name for master is Kuk Sa Nim. I told her "no thats the name for grand master in korean, Sensai is the japanese term" and here she sat down and called me "bitch". WTF! I didnt even have an attitude when I said that to her, no reason at all to call me a bitch (even though I am one, I am a truthful bitch). People will be people though.

Then another time me and a friend always hung out at the park to wait for the dollar movies to open, so we would talk with the little kids at the park. You know tell them about high school things like what the definition for Fashist is. So the little girl went home told her parents about the definition and they put her down saying she was stupid and wrong. So she barrowed our books and showed them she was right and the parents got us arrested because we were spreading knowledge .

[Jaydelart]

When people are being assholes, they usually realize it.
They probably wouldn't admit it, of course... but they realize it, nevertheless.

I have had people, who I've helped, blame me for their own mistakes.
That's the nature of the game; When you involve yourself in other people's business, you have to expect some of them to react negatively.

That shouldn't stop you from helping others, though.
You did a good thing.