Do you have any friends?

[xYinniex]

Originally Posted by Sitron

How do you loners manage to get through days and weeks and months without being with friends? Don't you feel the loneliness keeps you from having goals, and aspirations?

there's quite an easy solution, start smiling and actually ask how people are, and genuinely mean it. An act of niceness a day will keep you from killing yourself.

[Chococat]

Originally Posted by Sitron

I am a loner, and have been for a few years. I don't have a single friend. Not a single one to be with. When I'm at work it's okay because I don't feel like socializing. But I don't know what to do on weekends, and I don't know how to keep myself from jumping out the window during the lonely holidays.

How do you loners manage to get through days and weeks and months without being with friends? Don't you feel the loneliness keeps you from having goals, and aspirations?

Hey, I just moved back to NYC after like 6 years away,　And now, I don't know anyone anymore. All the people I grew up with anyone anymore. All the people I grew up with are either gone, or too absorbed in their own lives to care about what I'm doing or not doing with mine. That even goes for family too, which I find particularly shameful...

But, I kind of think that it's mostly my fault... It's not that it's mostly my fault... It's not really other people's obligation to mostly my fault... It's not really other people's obligation to care about me, I have to make them care about me. Maybe our problem is that we're not really social people。I mean, I've been here a month, but I can't be angry at all women because I haven't found a girlfriend yet, because I've hardly even talked to girls. I mean, my bday's coming up in less than a week, and it seems increasingly likely that I'll be spending it alone... (sidebar: who has a birthday without birthday sex? that's like, ridiculous)

Friends are out there... theoretically, anyway. I know I'd be an excellent friend to someone. Its just a question of being social enough to meet that person. I wish you the best of luck,man. We'll both need it.

Thx fr letting me rant. I gotta go home now though...

[Tsuruneru]

Sadly no. In my town i have not had any friends for about three to four years. I ether have to go by train or plain to visit my friends. and i mostly only see them once or twice a month and sometimes i don't see them at all a month. At school im known as the Japan boy (since im the only person in school who speaks, study and listens to japanese), And emo boy (Because i always appear sad),

[HikariTenrai]

I can admit that i am like that, i've never had a best friend and i have trust issues. I guess having high expectations in a friendship makes a difference. I stopped having any expectations and just leave people to be, also accepting them for who they are. To let them be who they are and not stop them for being their true selves. And i saw that they like hanging out with me. I keep my mind open and let them talk of anything without them feeling uncomfortable. And they are able to talk to me about anything they want and i'm cool with it.
Also, sometimes being quiet, people may get a wrong perception about you. They may think you're unfriendly or proud. We want to make friends but we're afraid. Don't be, even if someone betrays you in a friendship, there is no one you should truly trust but yourself. Friends come and go but what last forever? Even best friends may stray. So look at what is the most important thing to you and hold value in them. Dying for your friends is uncalled for. Will they do the same for you? You may think that they will but when things really happen, then you'll see who your true friends are, and who aren't. Just speaking from experience.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by HikariTenrai

Also, sometimes being quiet, people may get a wrong perception about you. They may think you're unfriendly or proud. We want to make friends but we're afraid.

I think that's quite true; a lot of how people first perceive a person is based on body language. Try making an effort to sit up but in a relaxed way, and seem open and attentive. I had a friend who was often avoided by strangers just because he often had a grumpy or sad expression without even knowing it. Once he was made aware of it, he was able to change it and the problem stopped. I honestly know first-hand it can be really really hard when you feel all alone, but try and stay positive. True fact- making a smiling face can actually trick your brain into feeling happier, and that will show to strangers.

The only thing I can advise is not to expect it to just fall in your lap- the first step is just... it's learning to speak with a friendly kind of confidence to strangers that will get you there in the long run and if you've never been a very social person be willing to make mistakes sometimes. If you see someone who needs a small favor or a bit of help, offer it; something might come of it and if not, then you can think positive that you've made someone else's day a bit nicer. If they turn you down, well, their loss. Maybe they were just shy of accepting help themselves. That's how I think of things and it's worked for me. I'm actually quite a shy person, but I've learnt to compensate for that gut-wrenching nervousness by just... doing my best to be nice. The good people will notice that, and the one's who don't? You don't need them anyway.

I'll agree that it's not good to be wholly dependent on others, but humans are designed to be social creatures, and telling someone it's better to be alone, or better not to trust people is rather cold comfort and somewhat insensitive to my mind. Well, it's cynical old world, I guess, but isn't it just letting the hurtful people win something over you if you then won't have a little faith in anybody ever again? I don't know, that's just my tuppenny's worth. *headtilt*

[JayT]

Nope.
I don't have any friends...
Well except my sock puppet, Mittens...

o.O

Anyways, I have many friends, well they're all females.
But I never really feel like seeing any of friends to be honest?
I'm not sure why, most people just annoy me because they don't have anything worthwhile to talk about. Being on your own is chill If you ask me.


It still is nice to have a girlfriend though

There are somethings normal friends just can't provide you...

[darksyndrem]

Yupp me neither....no friends here....
Do online friends count?

[Reavyn]

I'm quite the loner as well. I had tons of friends back when I was in school. But it's also a lot easier in school when your forced to be around the same people all the time. I also had a best friend that I had since I was 8. But not being invited to her wedding can change something like that quickly.

Also, I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people because I tend to just sit around a think a lot. I hardly ever drink and don't like clubs or bars because the noise is annoying most of the time. Not to mention a lot of the college kids and military people around this town can get very annoying.

[Nyororin]

I don`t really know if I have friends. I don`t particularly associate with a bunch of people, but I also don`t feel a need or urge to do so. My husband is far far more than a mere friend, but when it comes to talking I would say he covers all the close close friend bases.

To be quite honest, those people who need a lot of friends around them, and who must have a circle of friends are a mystery to me. I`m even a bit creeped out by people who want to be close friends with me, so always end up cutting things off when it gets to the weird "Let`s be great friends!" level and talk starts to delve into emotional stuff.
I really don`t feel like listening to someone whine about their life. Ever. I also don`t feel any urge to whine about mine.

I`m perfectly nice, polite, and friendly to everyone I meet. It is just too much of a pain to maintain a close friendship. I always feel stressed out by it, and don`t really know what I`m supposed to do. I`m always thinking "And what on earth do you want ME to do???"

Right now, the only people who I talk to on a truly "personal" basis are my husband and my honorary little brother. But then again, if someone actually asked me about something personal, I would probably answer 99% of the time as I don`t really have any secrets. I figure if someone feels the urge to ask me, it`s not going to hurt to answer them. But no one asks anything personal, so there is no reason for me to share.

[Kawatta]

Another loner here since high school, partly from depression I guess and shyness, i just didnt wanna hang out with anyone from my school or really go out and make new friends. I preffered doing my own thing untill i found some people that had things in common with me. they are now my small group of good friends. But even from them i hear "Why arent you coming out!?!" from time to time, cuz i just feeling like hanging at home.

I figure bieng loner is a mix of depression, shyness, low self confidence and preference (depending on how sad you are when u are alone), if your contemplating killing yourself on holidays or wishing you had something to do on lonley nights, you need to change something. Sooner or later youll pick yourself up and decide to get out there and meet people. It will definatley help you in the long run because the more people you have connections to, the better off life can be when it comes to jobs, finding deals for things you want to buy, and learning things. But you just gotta do it
Im currently trying to follow this advice...its hard at first but like with anything it'll get easier when your comfortable with it.