Bullying

[MMM]

Sometimes insults are just insults. On these forums, I would say that is true most of the time. I would not classify most of the "you are an idiot" posts as "cyber-bullying". Sure it does happen where there are (semi)organized efforts to isolate an individual, and that may be called bullying, but I wouldn't want to dilute the seriousness of bullying by calling isolated insults "bullying".

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by Koir

This post pretty much encapsulates to me what the ulterior motive of this thread is.

I'm sorry, that kind of upsets me. I've replied to everyone on this thread about what they've said. Most of the threads have been about bullying and cyber-bullying. This is the one post I've made, based on what someone else has said describing to me what a "thug" means to them. Personally, I feel like you've come onto this thread - not to talk about bullying or anything that's been said - but to negatively judge me as you've often done in the past. Ironic, as the thread is about bullying.

I really hope that, if you post in this thread from now on, it'll be about bullying or cyber-bullying or about what "thug" means to you, if you have any opinions on that issue.

[JayT]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Wow. That's pretty much a huge judgment on one of today's popular culture. Listening to rap music, failing school, wearing jewelry, and wearing baggy clothes doesn't make someone a criminal. Those qualities really don't deserve to be put in the same category as "beating on little kids" and "doing drugs." I work with kids who are a part of that culture, innocent kids who are human beings just like you and me. They laugh, they cry, they have dreams. It kind of hurts me that you've basically said that they're criminals just because they're apparently not of the same culture as you.

Also, just curious: if you saw a white person doing all of that, would you think they were thugs also?

It's not about race. Nor am I white, so don't think I'm biased towards races of darker shades. A lot of the people dress like that are usually trying to follow one of their rap idols. Are 50 Cent or Eminem not thugs?

[darksyndrem]

Originally Posted by JayT

People that do drugs, fail in school, listen to 'gangsta rap', wear baggy clothes, rock fake 'bling', beat on little kids are pretty much thugs to me.

vouch

(10char)

[Salvanas]

Originally Posted by JayT

People that do drugs, fail in school, listen to 'gangsta rap', wear baggy clothes, rock fake 'bling', beat on little kids are pretty much thugs to me.

I'm sorry. I have no others words for this but:

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by MMM

Sometimes insults are just insults. On these forums, I would say that is true most of the time. I would not classify most of the "you are an idiot" posts as "cyber-bullying". Sure it does happen where there are (semi)organized efforts to isolate an individual, and that may be called bullying, but I wouldn't want to dilute the seriousness of bullying by calling isolated insults "bullying".

And yet insults are a form of abuse - a form of bullying. It's impossible to say that insults aren't bullying, seeing that's a part of the definition of bullying. To bully one person, another can physically or verbally attack or degrade each other. Insults are verbal attacks.

Even something as simple as "you are an idiot" is degrading. It implies that the person isn't intelligent, or as intelligent as the attacker. People bully in order to degrade others, so that they themselves may feel like they're in control. Even if it isn't to isolate others, as you've said the case might be, it's still a social effort to put others down.

[xYinniex]

Originally Posted by JayT

People that do drugs, fail in school, listen to 'gangsta rap'wear baggy clothes,rock fake 'bling', beat on little kids are pretty much thugs to me.

You can't generalise that. Anyone can bully anyone.

The best way to beat bullying is ignoring, I was always bullied from primary to secondary school. You learn to ignore and really not care what they think and how they treat you because you know that you will never see them again after you leave school. Whats the point in feeling hurt? You've got bigger things to think about, like University.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

And yet insults are a form of abuse - a form of bullying. It's impossible to say that insults aren't bullying, seeing that's a part of the definition of bullying. To bully one person, another can physically or verbally attack or degrade each other. Insults are verbal attacks.

Even something as simple as "you are an idiot" is degrading. It implies that the person isn't intelligent, or as intelligent as the attacker. People bully in order to degrade others, so that they themselves may feel like they're in control. Even if it isn't to isolate others, as you've said the case might be, it's still a social effort to put others down.

Then in a way me saying "I disagree with your definition of bullying" is a form of bullying, because I am trying to degrade your argument, which implies you are not intelligent, so therefore degrades you.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by JayT

It's not about race. Nor am I white, so don't think I'm biased towards races of darker shades. A lot of the people dress like that are usually trying to follow one of their rap idols. Are 50 Cent or Eminem not thugs?

No, they're not thugs. They want to pretend to be thugs because they want that to be their image, but they're not criminals. They're artists. To me, calling 50 Cent and Eminem thugs is like calling Marilyn Manson the devil. (And I've heard him be called the devil, too.) He's not ACTUALLY the devil. He just portrays a certain image as an artist. A lot of the students I've mentioned would love to call themselves thugs too - as an image. That doesn't mean they're really criminals, as you earlier suggested.

I do think it's partially about race. A person doesn't have to be white to be racist. My father is one of the biggest racists I know, and he's black. I've heard him make similar comments about the students I take care of. He looks at today's youth and sees not only their clothing but their race. He calls them "little thugs" and "little criminals." If he sees a white child portraying the same culture, he doesn't have anything else to say. It's called internalized racism. Everyone suffers from it in some way, including you and me.

[alanX]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

I'm not sure if that's true. Bullying is a way of getting control. I can understand if a bully was like me - someone who was bullied and so bullied others because of that. However, I don't think that all people are bullies. There are plenty of people who realize that they don't need to feel like they're in control by bullying others.

If your view of a bully is someone who picks on a little kid in high school, then you're exactly right; not everyone is a bully.