How do you feel about online dating? - Page 5

Trinitykitty1 · (#41 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas

They'd do worse if there was no sex.

The way how a relationship works, is by balancing Communication, Sex and Love. If one is out of synch, then the relationship fails.

After marriage and children, it divides into Communication, Sex, Love and the Children/Family.

yes!! thats true...thats pretty much how it is but one cant over rule the other or things get out of synch also.

Salvanas · (#42 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinitykitty1

yes!! thats true...thats pretty much how it is but one cant over rule the other or things get out of synch also.

But you said that it's good to have no sex in a relationship.

mercedesjin · (#43 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom

What are you talking about? Sex gets you more intimate with your partner?

And you don't have sex without knowing someone. I call that a sex partnership, not a real relationship.

It varies from couple to couple, but sex isn't necessary for a relationship to thrive. From your post, you suggested that online dating can never work because they can't have physical sex. (EDIT: Your exact words: "Relationships without sex are pointless.") Now, I'm not one for online dating - but take it into the sphere of real life, and I know for a fact that sex isn't necessary for two people to have a relationship. I've known couples who go for years without sex. Sex isn't love. Sex isn't what keeps a relationship together. Emotions are. To me, being open emotionally if real vulnerability and true intimacy.

Like I said, it varies from couple to couple. I'm sure there are couples who only have sex and who don't even talk, yet they have a working relationship just because both people are only looking for that physical satisfaction. I'm just saying that there's another side to working relationships.

Salvanas: I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry.

iPhantom · (#44 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinitykitty1

yes!! thats true...thats pretty much how it is but one cant over rule the other or things get out of synch also.

You said earlier that sex isn't a necessity.

Trinitykitty1 · (#45 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom

You said earlier that sex isn't a necessity.

ok ok! ill admit it yes! i did say that its not...i guess sometimes it is AS LONG AS it doesnt override all the other important qualities in a relationship..so i guess im in between whether it is or isnt a necessity

mercedesjin · (#46 (**permalink**))

And a question for people who think that sex is necessary for a relation: what about asexual men and women? Don't they deserve love too?

iPhantom · (#47 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

It varies from couple to couple, but sex isn't necessary for a relationship to thrive. From your post, you suggested that online dating can never work because they can't have physical sex. (EDIT: Your exact words: "Relationships without sex are pointless.") Now, I'm not one for online dating - but take it into the sphere of real life, and I know for a fact that sex isn't necessary for two people to have a relationship. I've known couples who go for years without sex. Sex isn't love. Sex isn't what keeps a relationship together. Emotions are. To me, being open emotionally if real vulnerability and true intimacy.

Like I said, it varies from couple to couple. I'm sure there are couples who only have sex and who don't even talk, yet they have a working relationship just because both people are only looking for that physical satisfaction. I'm just saying that there's another side to working relationships.

Salvanas: I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry.

What kind of attraction do you get from online dating? You get entertained with her yes, but that's it.

It looks like a best friend to me. That is why when they say, 'I want us to be more than best friends', AKA a gf... they want to get more physical towards the partner.

If there is no love, there is no sex. If there is no sex and there is love... you'd have to provide a great explanation as to why you're not enjoying this great pleasure with the person you love most.

iPhantom · (#48 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

And a question for people who think that sex is necessary for a relation: what about asexual men and women? Don't they deserve love too?

We're not talking about such circumstances. I pretty much said earlier that I would turn gay if sex wasn't important... I could enjoy a relationship with a guy (lol) and not be ashamed because I'd never have sex with him whatsoever.

I'm talking about straight people.

mercedesjin · (#49 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom

What kind of attraction do you get from online dating? You get entertained with her yes, but that's it.

It looks like a best friend to me. That is why when they say, 'I want us to be more than best friends', AKA a gf... they want to get more physical towards the partner.

If there is no love, there is no sex. If there is no sex and there is love... you'd have to provide a great explanation as to why you're not enjoying this great pleasure with the person you love most.

What about people who have sexual disorders, such as erectile dysfunction? What about people who suffer psychological disorders, and don't want to have sex for that reason? What about asexuals? What about the men and women who once had sex with their partners, but now - after decades of marriage - live happily in sexless marriages? Are their relationships pointless also?

I don't know what kind of attraction people get from online dating. I'm not comfortable with online dating. I'm talking about relationships in real life.

It's a little shallow to say that two people who are deeply in love but don't have sex are only best friends. "I want us to be more than friends," is usually a line left for children in high school and Hollywood movies. Most people these days understand that, to be someone's lover, you should also be their friend. A "friend" is a title, a role, that is included under the role of "lover." If you want to talk about cliched lines, have you ever heard someone say, "He/She's my lover, but they're also my best friend"?

I'm not sure what you mean by "if there's no love, there's no sex." People have sex without being in love all of the time. As for the idea of not enjoying "this great pleasure" when the one you love, it's not a great pleasure to everyone. To some, sex isn't the best thing that they can offer to their partner. Emotional stability, sincere love, having a family (and not always through reproduction) - those are things some people find more important and more valuable - "the greatest pleasure."

mercedesjin · (#50 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom

We're not talking about such circumstances. I pretty much said earlier that I would turn gay if sex wasn't important... I could enjoy a relationship with a guy (lol) and not be ashamed because I'd never have sex with him whatsoever.

I'm talking about straight people.

Why are you only talking about heterosexual people? To you, are heterosexual relationships the only ones that deserve to be discussed? If so, why?