How do you feel about online dating?

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight

I'm not saying sex is the most important thing in a relationship, I'm just saying that without sexual attraction there are no relationship, just friendships, that's why a gay man can't have a relationship with a woman, because he doesn't feel attracted to her, it's evident.

So you feel that people can't have a true relationship without sexual attraction.

What about the people who aren't able to have sex or feel sexual attraction, for one reason or the other? Is it impossible for them to feel true love? Is it impossible for them to be in a healthy relationship? Does the ability to have sex validate a human being's health?

Also, what were the titles of Freud's articles, if you remember them? I'd like to look them up and read them myself.

[iPhantom]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

You've never been in a platonic relationship that works, and yet you so freely speak about the people who are in such relationships. You're not like them, and yet you openly speak about them.

This is stupid. I'm unable to keep a healthy platonic relationship BECAUSE OF THAT REASON: SEX.

Your assumption is that I directly think of sex once I go into a relationship. but that ends there, it's you assumption to post something. If I could go without sex I would, but I can't. Sex is an important part of a relationship.

Also this relationship without sex is just bullshit invented by you. If he has no sex with her partner and is straight, with whom does he have sex with. If he doesn't he isn't straight, if he does real love (sincerity, devotion) doesn't exist in the relationship, so I see a BIG contradiction with your logic.

[Salvanas]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

You, like iPhantom, also have no experience with being in a healthy sexless relationship - yet you also speak about the people in those relationships. Yet you won't talk about gay men, gay women, and asexuals.

Our planet is overpopulated. Why do you feel like people need to be able to reproduce in order to not be laughable? Also, do you find gay men and gay women laughable? If two men or two women are together, they also can't reproduce.

Read my reply again. I DID talk about gay men and gay women.

You bash my experiences, but so far, It seems to me like I've been in more relationships than you. Please, if you think if my experiences are inadequate, tell me yours.

Asexuals are different than gay men and lesbians. Lesbian still release their pent up sexual urges. Asexuals basically think they are above the rest of the human race. Which is a bunch of bull.

Yet again. You keep trying to make it into a discussion about discrimination.

[Zagato289]

Ok, now its my turn for my opinion. A relationship can work with or without sex, period. It really depends on the couple. The reason I say this because i met couples from both sides. I dont have permision to explain their story , so i wont. In my opinion, sex is another step to go deeper in a relationship. It just gives another feeling towards your partner. It makes you feel more comfortable with your partner. I think that a couple that had sex in thier relationship before, feel different towards their partner, than those that dont have sex in their relationship. Again, this is just my opinion and i will respect anybody elses, so I hope i get some respect back. Im not here to argue , so i wont respond to any negative replies.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by iPhantom

This is stupid. I'm unable to keep a healthy platonic relationship BECAUSE OF THAT REASON: SEX.

Your assumption is that I directly think of sex once I go into a relationship. but that ends there, it's you assumption to post something. If I could go without sex I would, but I can't. Sex is an important part of a relationship.

Also this relationship without sex is just bullshit invented by you. If he has no sex with her partner and is straight, with whom does he have sex with. If he doesn't he isn't straight, if he does real love (sincerity, devotion) doesn't exist in the relationship, so I see a BIG contradiction with your logic.

So, if a person doesn't have sex with another person, then they can't feel sexual attraction? And, because you personally can't go without sex, do you think that it's the case for all human beings?

If this is just bullshit invented by me, then it's bullshit invented by quite a few people. I've been reading some articles. Here's an example of one:

"Scientists have proven that falling in love is a chemical reaction. Hormones create confusion in your body, and you believe that you've finally found your soulmate. Your heart rate increases, you blush and start shaking when he or she talks to you. You can't sleep at night and you can't eat, which is great if you want to lose weight. Or you do the opposite and become an emotional eater, stuffing yourself with chocolate to put this person out of your mind - at least for a while.

It would probably be easier to begin a relationship without being in love, because your emotions wouldn't wreak havoc and you would keep a clear head. This chaos is not always a nice feeling, as it can bring to the surface insecurity, which can lead to pain and suffering. Being in love is mostly a sexual feeling. People are attracted to each other physically, which is normal, as we are programmed that way. But if being in love is being in lust, then according to statistics, it doesn't last. The feeling evaporates after a few years. The madness of ripping each other's clothes off becomes a memory, as well as the luxury of staying in bed all day making love.

It is possible to be in love without having sex. Platonic love can be intimate and affectionate, without being sexual. More than physical attraction, love is about respecting and understanding each other. It's about trust and accepting the other person exactly as they are. You can fall in love instantly, but will it last? Isn't love at first sight an illusion, as I only see what I want to see? Then reality hits. I'm in for a big shock, because this man or this woman who seemed perfect now has a lot of defects. And he or she probably thinks the same about me. We're both disillusioned, and even the sex doesn't keep us together any more, as the physical passion has evaporated.

Love is commitment. It grows over time, when people are there for each other. When they listen and try to understand each other. Talking is important. It's okay to have disagreements, as long as they don't degenerate into nasty fights. Too many arguments can destroy love, Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, too many arguments can destroy love. Of course, we will fall in and out of love numerous times with our partners. Sometimes the feeling of love is less intense, almost absent. But it doesn't mean it's all over. The flame of passion can be rekindled at any time. If you don't give up, you can create the love you want. Passion is a strong desire to make the relationship work, but both partners need to be willing to give it a go.

Dating someone you love like a friend means you're compatible on more levels than just the physical one. True love is similar to friendship. The important thing is to establish trust and good communication. Sex is an added bonus, as it is the culmination of your love for each other. But even without sex, it is possible to have a relationship, as long as there is affection and true understanding, and a willingness to share. In all relationships, people will eventually fall out of love over time. People who are together just because they are in love - or in lust - may realise years later, when sex diminishes or becomes inexistent, that they have nothing else in common to keep the relationship going.

A desire to give and receive love will lead us towards a satisfying relationship, in which commitment plays the biggest role. Sex is not compulsory. The main ingredients are trust, acceptance, understanding, respect and appreciation. These can be found in friendship as well, which is why friendship is the best foundation for true love."

[alanX]

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight

I don't know if a relationship without sex is possible or not, but I think love is just an idealisation or rationalisation of the sexual instinct, so without it there are no attraction between man and woman or men and men or woman and woman or whatever. Without sexual attraction man and woman would be just friends, that's why it's easy for a gay man to be friend of a woman.

Don't bother. I agree with this 100% but again, she will probably just say "well, you know, that's just your opinion. No matter how many people say the same thing, it's still just an opinion, etc, etc, etc."

Mercedesjin, please, just accept reality.

And no, I'm not bullying you.


Lol, had to throw that in there.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by Salvanas

Read my reply again. I DID talk about gay men and gay women.

You bash my experiences, but so far, It seems to me like I've been in more relationships than you. Please, if you think if my experiences are inadequate, tell me yours.

Asexuals are different than gay men and lesbians. Lesbian still release their pent up sexual urges. Asexuals basically think they are above the rest of the human race. Which is a bunch of bull.

Yet again. You keep trying to make it into a discussion about discrimination.

Why do you think that I'm bashing you in some way? Where did you get the idea that I think your experiences are inadequate? I'm only asking questions.

Why do asexuals think they're above the rest of the human race?

[Quailboy]

Originally Posted by alanX

Don't bother. I agree with this 100% but again, she will probably just say "well, you know, that's just your opinion. No matter how many people say the same thing, it's still just an opinion, etc, etc, etc."

Mercedesjin, please, just accept reality.

And no, I'm not bullying you.


Lol, had to throw that in there.

You know you are Alan...your the worst bully on JF!.

This convo just keeps going in circles for pages and pages and pages and pages...

[Quailboy]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Why do asexuals think they're above the rest of the human race?

Because of ignorance.
Some asexuals think they are right. All of the time. They think that they are doing what is perfect and nothing else should exist, such as homosexualism.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight

I'm not saying they need to have sex and I'm not saying it's essential in a relationship, it's up to the couple to decide, I'm just saying without sexual attraction people wouldn't engage in relationships. Did you ever see a relationship between a lesbian and a man, no because since they don't feel attracted to each other they can't have one.

In a friendship people feel attracted to each other's personalities, the only difference in a relationship is that they also have the sexual attraction.

Also, I don't think sexual attraction is meant for reproduction only it's just something that put people together in a certain manner. About Freud's essays, I read them in Portuguese long ago and I dunno their names in English, but if you still want to read them, just wait a bit until I find their names in English.

Ah! Okay, I agree with that. Yes, it's a sexual attraction that can and often brings people together.

If you don't have the names right there, it's okay. I don't want to send you on a hunt looking for them. I might as well just look for them myself without making you do the work, you know?