Child Murder

[seiki]

Im sure there was more in the paper than that nyorin.

I dont blame the school but it may have been a contributing factor in stress. It seems like the only way for some people to meet the hierarchy of needs wich ends in self satisfaction is by having a "good" family and being successful for stay at home moms might solely depend on their children being the best. kind of like a stage mom. They live through their kids. Plus she was crazy

[YukisUke]

Originally Posted by seiki

Im sure there was more in the paper than that nyorin.

I dont blame the school but it may have been a contributing factor in stress. It seems like the only way for some people to meet the hierarchy of needs wich ends in self satisfaction is by having a "good" family and being successful for stay at home moms might solely depend on their children being the best. kind of like a stage mom. They live through their kids. Plus she was crazy

As crazy as bats**t!!

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by YukisUke

That's true. Because of fact that they're bottling up their feelings for most of their lives, anything can set them off. Nyorin, this is what we meant.

People bottle up their feelings everywhere, and there are plenty of people who "anything will set them off".
I know what you meant, and I am disagreeing. It`s no worse in Japan. Personally, I think that in some areas people are more expressive of their feelings here. You know that whole "inside" and "outside" way of thinking - the inside is a protected sort of thing and people do very often let their feelings out in completeness.

In the US, I have honestly never met a guy who didn`t change sadness, disappointness, etc etc into anger as a coping mechanism. Usually linked to violence (not necessarily toward people, mind you. Throwing stuff, kicking stuff, etc). I figure it`s because of the very strong cultural thinking toward men crying - ie. They`re men so they don`t do it - or, it`s a "gay" or "pussy" thing to do.
But in Japan, I have never known a guy who didn`t shed tears if something was upsetting. Not in public of course, but still.

If you think that Japanese bottle up their emotions, you`re looking in the wrong places.

[YukisUke]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

People bottle up their feelings everywhere, and there are plenty of people who "anything will set them off".
I know what you meant, and I am disagreeing. It`s no worse in Japan. Personally, I think that in some areas people are more expressive of their feelings here. You know that whole "inside" and "outside" way of thinking - the inside is a protected sort of thing and people do very often let their feelings out in completeness.

In the US, I have honestly never met a guy who didn`t change sadness, disappointness, etc etc into anger as a coping mechanism. Usually linked to violence (not necessarily toward people, mind you. Throwing stuff, kicking stuff, etc). I figure it`s because of the very strong cultural thinking toward men crying - ie. They`re men so they don`t do it - or, it`s a "gay" or "pussy" thing to do.
But in Japan, I have never known a guy who didn`t shed tears if something was upsetting. Not in public of course, but still.

If you think that Japanese bottle up their emotions, you`re looking in the wrong places.

I'm not saying that all Japanese people do that, but the majority of them do.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by YukisUke

I'm not saying that all Japanese people do that, but the majority of them do.

That the majority of people bottle up their emotions and can be set off by almost anything?
I do not agree. How long have you lived in Japan, and how many Japanese people do you associate with on a regular basis?

There are crazy people anywhere, and no more or less in Japan.

[YukisUke]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

That the majority of people bottle up their emotions and can be set off by almost anything?
I do not agree. How long have you lived in Japan, and how many Japanese people do you associate with on a regular basis?

There are crazy people anywhere, and no more or less in Japan.

I don't know any Japanese people sadly. Living in Brooklyn doesn't help with that. I'm not saying that all Japanese people are crazy. I just said that they're taught to be reserved and limit their emotions in public or in their lives. In other words, to wear a mask that hides what you're feeling. I'm not labeling them as crazy or insane. And if you're still mad, then I don't know what to do.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by YukisUke

I don't know any Japanese people sadly. Living in Brooklyn doesn't help with that. I'm not saying that all Japanese people are crazy. I just said that they're taught to be reserved and limit their emotions in public or in their lives. In other words, to wear a mask that hides what you're feeling. I'm not labeling them as crazy or insane. And if you're still mad, then I don't know what to do.

I was never mad, just asking you an honest question and disagreeing with what you`ve said.
Japan has a strong image of being, well, the way you are talking about it. People holding all their emotions in - snapping and going crazy because of it, etc.

I`ve lived here 10 years now. I can`t even begin to express how that is a very superficial view that only looks at people while they`re working or treating people as guests. You don`t splurt out your feelings at work or to random people on the street. I don`t know about how it is in Brooklyn, but I don`t really think that most people in the US do either.

But in private, hiding your feelings in Japan would just be weird. Just like most anywhere else.

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

That the majority of people bottle up their emotions and can be set off by almost anything?
I do not agree. How long have you lived in Japan, and how many Japanese people do you associate with on a regular basis?

There are crazy people anywhere, and no more or less in Japan.

I wouldn't say that a majority of Japanese people bottle up their emotions, but I saw many that did and then overreacted. I think that in their need to be polite they keep their anger inside until it is too much to bear. This happens to me to some extent but I'm much more quick to get angry so my reaction isn't quite as bad as what I saw in my opinion.

I lived in Japan for three years and worked for a Japanese company and saw this happen many times at work. This happened between us foreigners and the Japanese, also with the Japanese and other Japanese. I can't say that my company was different than other traditional Japanese companies but perhaps it was. It was a very stressful environment.

Also, my ex-girlfriend owned a very popular language and dancing school. She had many problems with students getting very angry over a very minor issues. It wasn't so much the one issue made them over react, but there was also many other things that they never expressed until they were having some kind of a emotional tantrum. One lady tried to have my girlfriend arrested because one of the other teachers was five minutes late for class. When this didn't happen, she reported to the police that students were selling used costumes(dancing costumes) and my girlfriend didn't have a resale license for selling used goods. Even though she was a Japanese citizen, but she was born in China, the police told her that she would need to send a native Japanese to get the license because there was a history test involved. This I don't understand at all, we found it funny at the time though

Maybe my experiences are different than what you are used to seeing. You have lived there much longer than I did and I don't question your opinion. All I can say is what I saw and how I perceived it.

[YukisUke]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I was never mad, just asking you an honest question and disagreeing with what you`ve said.
Japan has a strong image of being, well, the way you are talking about it. People holding all their emotions in - snapping and going crazy because of it, etc.

I`ve lived here 10 years now. I can`t even begin to express how that is a very superficial view that only looks at people while they`re working or treating people as guests. You don`t splurt out your feelings at work or to random people on the street. I don`t know about how it is in Brooklyn, but I don`t really think that most people in the US do either.

But in private, hiding your feelings in Japan would just be weird. Just like most anywhere else.

Ok. I just thought you were mad.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by bELyVIS

Maybe my experiences are different than what you are used to seeing. You have lived there much longer than I did and I don't question your opinion. All I can say is what I saw and how I perceived it.

I don`t doubt or question your experiences either - but believe that you were just really unlucky.
In the work environment, it really does have to be something to the level that makes a person "snap" in order to show emotions - because in general it`s not professional to show them otherwise while you`re working. But if it`s something so bad that you actually get angry - as work - then it shows the issue is SERIOUS. So it`s almost accepted in that way. Bringing up all the smaller issues is also something that is considered pretty normal. "I was willing to forgive all these smaller things, but now that I am angry enough to complain I will not!"

The events at the school sound really horrible, but I honestly don`t think they are a good representation of the rest of the Japanese population.