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08-27-2009, 03:04 AM
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  Um.......... 
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08-27-2009, 04:28 AM
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we can all become INTERNET NAZIS =DD  In the shadows beneath the trees he waits. In the darkness under the moon he plots In the silence of the night he kills.
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08-27-2009, 05:00 AM
I blame hip hop
 stupid rap music. >_> I don't care what people say anymore. Your opinions no longer matter to me. No matter what i say no one cares they just keep going. I have no enemies my opponent is my teacher. (けとだ!) (こい) (とどめだ!) I Am Shadow The Hedgehog
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08-27-2009, 05:05 AM
I am going to step in late and go against the flow...
I don`t think it has much of anything to do with spanking. With discipline, yes, but discipline doesn`t have to involve physical punishment. That`s just one type. What is important is consistency. Even if you spank your kid, if it only happens sometimes for the same offense - or if others don`t scold the child for the same offenses... You`re going to get a confused and potentially bitter child. But even if you don`t ever cause physical pain to your child - if the discipline is consistent and still unpleasant it will work. You just have to follow through with it EVERY time (same with spanking). Sometimes discipline is often worse than none at all. In my eyes, the big problems came into play not because parents changed the discipline methods... But rather because there is far less consistency these days. All power to discipline children has been moved to the parents. Which is fine if a parent is always there to discipline the child... Unfortunately, kids spend chunks of their lives in day care then in school. Places where they will either not be disciplined, or will not consistently be disciplined. It`s gotten to the point that teachers lose their jobs if they were visibly angry at a student - even if no one actually is upset by it. It`s hard to make up for poor discipline outside of the home, and I really think most parents don`t know what to do... So it gets worse. Especially if there wasn`t a strong foundation built before the kid headed off to school. (ie. They were in daycare without parental guidance.) My son is 5, so nowhere close to being a teenager, but I can say with great confidence that he is well behaved. I don`t spank him, or use pain tactics (unless it`s an emergency - like he was doing something that would have killed him. But that`s a real rarity.) but I`m incredibly consistent. He knows that if he does certain things, certain things will happen in response. No matter what. Do something bad twice while we`re out? We go home. It doesn`t matter what we were doing or where we were. I will give a warning with a threat. Do it again and this will happen. And if I threaten, I mean it, and he knows it. So he never bothers trying the first time, and I have a well-behaved (for being 5 and retarded) child.
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08-27-2009, 05:31 AM
honestly... (and seriously for the first time in this thread o.O") i don't think that 'punishment' is always the key approach towards raising a child~
i believe that 'respect' is what matters more >.> developing a mutual respect betwen the parent and child and the child with society, as opposed to instiling a fear x.x when you 'discipline' a child for unruly behaviour, i personally feel that it's done for the wrong reason. like, when you spank the little bugger, you want him to know that his action was wrong or socially unacceptable. rather than to fear the action or the consequence of the action~ because typically, the way i see it, one of 2 things happen x.x firstly, when the bugger gets the chance, he'll do what he can to do the same thing again, but behind your back secondly, the brat might be a wee too fearful of potential consequences and..... that's not a very fun childhood >.>'' anywho =P if a child is taught to respect the adult, rather than to fear or rebel against the adult, i think it might lead to a more proper raising >.> i mean.... eventually, a person's gonna be whatever that person's gonna grow up to be~ fears will grow old, and be overcome, and rebellions may grow worse or slacken >.>''' but if a child doesn't grow up to respect his parent~ that's something that's gonna be a total pain in the arse to develop when he's older In the shadows beneath the trees he waits. In the darkness under the moon he plots In the silence of the night he kills.
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08-27-2009, 12:36 PM
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I see it twice a day, 5 days a week on my way to work. There is a beautiful and smart child between 3 & 4 yrs old who becomes an uncontrollable monster the minute she doesn't get her way, or people don't dote on her - even strangers. Her mother fusses at her, but always loses the arguement. Those of us who recognize the pattern would dearly love lay a paddle across the child's butt and shake up her world before it is too late. I dread what this girl will be like by the time she is teenager.  Only an open mind and open heart can be filled with life. ********************* Find your voice; silence will not protect you.
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08-27-2009, 01:42 PM
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A parent should not be losing an argument with a 3 or 4 year old.  If the kid is smart, they`re capable of understanding why they are in trouble. Even my own son, who is FAR from smart can understand at the very least that he has done something he should not have if told so. Anyway - I do think Yuujirou brought up a good point. Respect for parents. I have noticed that some parents discipline for their own convenience. Even if the kid isn`t doing something wrong, they`re punished because it`s easier for the parent to stop the action than respond constructively to it. I think it is also pretty common for the parent to scold the child for something the parent regularly does. Kids are yelled at to apologize to a parent or peer, or snapped at for making a mistake... But how often do parents apologize to their own kids when THEY make a mistake? For some reason that always annoyed me. My mother would laugh at me, yell at me, never forget and bring it up later for amusement, etc if I made some kind of mistake or did something incorrectly... But if she did something negative to me, not only would she not apologize to me she would literally scream at me if I pointed it out. Sure, it was probably obnoxious for me to point out the mistake/incorrect actions of an adult, but the response seriously lowered any respect. If I were walking down the hallway and bumped into her or stepped on her foot, I`d get a scream fest for not looking where I was going... But if I were standing and she bumped into me knocking me down or making me spill something... It would again be totally my fault for not seeing her coming and getting out of the way. It`s hard to teach a child to be respectful of you and others if you`re an awful person in front of them or to them on a regular basis. I really like how if my son does something accidentally to hurt me or something, he`ll apologize to me... And if I do the same, I apologize to him... And we will say "It`s okay." and we`ll hug.
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08-27-2009, 04:04 PM
I have a theory that it has something to do with the whole wave of "spanking is not the answer" discipline approach.
Personally, I don't know how you feel about spanking, but I was definitely spanked. I was not one of those kids who could mouth off or act a fool. My mom says It became at one point that, if parent physically acted upon a child in such a manner, all the child would have to do is call the police and say "Hey, my mom/dad beat the crap outta me." and then get the parent in trouble. Here's a site I found with different law pertaining to spanking. Spanking Laws That's why kids TODAY are different from yesterday. The parent is scared to discipline them in this fashion, so the child/teen runs a amok knowing that they can call the police and get the parents in trouble. I agree with you, I think I act much better than majority of kids today, even when I was younger (I'm 18 now), but also, I've always been quite mature due to the fact that I was never really treated like a child; my parents never talked to me like a child. Also, by nature, I've never been one to act out. Being a child of spanking, I believe in it. I see children misbehaving in public or even children of friends of mine and my mom when we're hanging out privately. All the parent does majority of the time is say "Stop" or something to that effect. If that were me, my mom would spank me in front of everyone to embarrass me, which would ensure I didn't do that again. I think some kids just need to be spanked and embarrassed. Some may say that will create resentment towards the parent. I say, they're children. They need to be taught how to act before they get in public and make fools of themselves and make the parents look bad. That's just my theory though.
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