Marriage and aging: A generalization.

[MMM]

This topic seems to be less about marriage and more about young people dating.

[termogard]

Originally Posted by MMM

Just because you haven't been lucky in love doesn't mean it doesn't happen every day for other people.

Whoa! Did Xyzone say something about himself or his own negative experience?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by termogard

Whoa! Did Xyzone say something about himself or his own negative experience?

Even if he says it isn't about him, no one could be that negative and cynical without having a negative personal experience.

[termogard]

Originally Posted by MMM

Even if he says it isn't about him, no one could be that negative and cynical without having a negative personal experience.

Excuse me, but I strongly disagree. He may be just a good observer who collects a certain information from vast majority of his neighbours or co-workers. Furthermore, there are many cynical things in our life. We can talk about, making this particular forum more dynamic or we can keep silence, polishing the reality by soft vax duster.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by termogard

Excuse me, but I strongly disagree. He may be just a good observer who collects a certain information from vast majority of his neighbours or co-workers. Furthermore, there are many cynical things in our life. We can talk about, making this particular forum more dynamic or we can keep silence, polishing the reality by soft vax duster.

The very fact that there are literally hundreds of millions of happily married people in the world refutes the general argument.

Either his is talking about his personal experience or personal observations, as you put it, or he is ignoring the fact, for whatever reason, that not all people fit into the roles he describes.

[manganimefan227]

Actually EVERYBODY is trying to fit all people into those roles.

IS THERE ANY RECOGNITION OF THOSE BRAVE ENOUGH TO STAND OUT?!

I made my point.

-Walks out-

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by bELyVIS

Women aren't attracted to nice guys. Logically they say they want a nice guy, but attraction overrides logic everytime.

No, the loudest demographic of women are attracted to jerks, because that's how the media likes to portray relationships and people get sucked into it. I'm also baffled. The women I know, american or otherwise, aren't like that, and they don't want just sex-based relationships with guys who seem to neither like women (i don't mean sexually, but socially) nor respect them.

I hate the term 'nice guy'. It's become synonymous with weak men and niceness isn't about weakness. I also hate this 'all girls only want jerks' routine, because it's kack. It's not what girls want; it's what they think they're supposed to want, but do you really think the majority LIKE dating someone who's horrible to them? Hell no. And a lot of girls learn that quickly. I firmly believe there ARE are mass of girls who want decent guys, they are just quieter about it. Not 'nice'. Decent. Dating a wet pushover is frustrating, but you're more likely to be with them for a better reason. Dating an aggressive jerk hurts, end of story. Unless you're rather cruel and jerkish yourself.

Actually, that's more my point. The girls who date only jerks either have some issue where they just cycle into bad relationships ~despite~ (or in fact, TO spite) themselves, or they're jerks as well.

BACK TO THE TOPIC~

I think marriage has a place in society. I just think a lot of people have a lot of strange delusions about what it's all about. Not to say that I get it yet, or have the answers, but I think it's neither the solve-it-all dream the romantics push nor the horror that the cynics would portray. It's what you make of it. Neither is divorce the be-all and end-all sin of relationships. Things end. Change happens and it's ok to have the option to call things to a close. Just a generation ago, people tended to be pushed into marriage with partners they probably would have ended things with if they'd been given more time to set things for themselves. There's plenty of people who re-marry into relationships that are more stable and happier than first marriages as a result.

Anyway, this thread looks pretty sorry to me. I agree with MMM, this isn't about popping the rosy delusions of the world or logically being cynical about marriage. It's barely even about discussing marriage. This is a flame on the assumed flaws of american women and rapidly over-generalizing to women's actions in general.

[xYinniex]

Originally Posted by xyzone

Do you think marriage is good for anything?

I can only speak about where I grew up but I think American women are un-marriageable today. I think state marriage itself is a failed institution. Do you think it should be abolished as a legal contract? I do. For the young men in the U.S. I can say that you should never get legally married, not with an American, much less at a young age. You'll be had like people I know and many others I've heard of. The latest one is a friend of mine duped by a bimbo; I won't get into details.

And regardless of what some naive younger people may think, your "soulmate" is not whoever you met in high school and there is no such thing. Look up the divorce rate. Also if you're a young guy working hard to get high in the world, wait until you have the advantage over the women through money and power. Just have your fun in the meantime. The chicks who told you to get lost when they were young and hot, chased by every guy and got free things will be itching to get with you when they start losing their looks. After they've spent a decade getting banged out by hot guys, the ride will be over for them. Get with a younger, better one instead, but never marry them. Guys have this advantage, we only gain value as we age if we work hard. Not so with female bimbos.

when you titled this post, you failed to make your point strong. Stereotyping men as stupid and women as bimbos is only one end of the spectrum. You can't base your life on something your friend went through.

and women losing their looks, gold diggers and divorce? looks like someone didn't get candy as a kid, it's way too cynical.

Marriage has its place, i don't think it should be abolished as a legal contract,to me, the way you're phrasing it reeks of slight misogynism as to why it should be abolished. Its a structure in society and it's also a reaffirmation of love, not a gold digging plot. And not everyone lives by the latter.

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by xYinniex

Stereotyping men as stupid and women as bimbos is only one end of the spectrum.
.............. the way you're phrasing it reeks of slight misogynism........

That's being rather nice. The distorted and insulting tone has turned more and more mysognist as support for his contentions has not arisen.

Nice guys are not automatically boring guys. Yes, there are those who are, but they are not the majority. The boring ones are only the ones that get attention because of they whine for pity, or froth with venom later.

Women may notice the jerks of the world, but only the psychologically damaged ones (not the majority!) stay with them once they show their true selves ...... intead of "ACTING NICE", as some here have admitted to doing.

If you are "acting nice" you are being as deceitful as those you complain about because you are showing a false front and deserve to be deceived ("played", "used", whatever term you care to choose) in return. Dishontesty attracts dishonesty.

Marriage is no place for the sort of game playing that is fully evident in the posting of those claim it to be inequal.

[xyzone]

Originally Posted by bELyVIS

Women aren't attracted to nice guys. Logically they say they want a nice guy, but attraction overrides logic everytime.

Exactly. The trouble with daring to state this fact is there's always someone who will jump in assuming it has anything to do with personal preference. Also, there's always exceptions to anything, but that's not what we're talking about. To deny women like aggressive jerks is like denying guys like boobs; it wouldn't matter how many goofballs jumped in to chime in how they prefer women's feet.

Originally Posted by MMM

The very fact that there are literally hundreds of millions of happily married people in the world refutes the general argument.

It doesn't matter. The point you're trying to make is like saying ~ 1 in 6 people in the world starving is not that bad because a lot of people get to eat in Africa.

Originally Posted by Columbine

No, the loudest demographic of women are attracted to jerks, because that's how the media likes to portray relationships and people get sucked into it.

You mean the armies of sitcoms and TV shows that show marriages and people staying married? Everyone is married and staying that way because TV said so. Never mind the truth that about half of marriages end in divorce - and rising. Of course, even when divorce does happen in happyland, it's just that "it didn't work out" and is the most normal thing in the world. It's like a high school break up. Move on and start dating again while the kids dress you and give you dating tips. All's well.

The women I know, american or otherwise, aren't like that, and they don't want just sex-based relationships with guys who seem to neither like women (i don't mean sexually, but socially) nor respect them.

Maybe those women you know take what they can get. Most people do. Because it's funny how the women with the most options, the cheerleader models, etc., strangely, we never see them with "nice guys". Never happens. We see them with aggressive "jerks". Not to mention the fact that I never said women consciously seek sex-based relationships to get used. They fall into them due to being physically attracted to jerks.

Besides that, personal bubbles don't really prove anything and I never presumed to say my personal experience alone proves anything I said. We could have a war of he said she said, or we could look at tangible data instead, like the divorce rate and the amount of single mothers. The fact those single mothers were attracted to jerks is strongly evident if not obvious.

Originally Posted by xYinniex

Stereotyping men as stupid and women as bimbos is only one end of the spectrum.

I didn't stereotype men as stupid so much as brainwashed and lacking direction.

and women losing their looks, gold diggers and divorce?

All facts. Party girls become some old guy's or some dumb, yet successful nerd's trophy wife once she had her fill of hot jerk guys.

looks like someone didn't get candy as a kid, it's way too cynical.

Might as well check off the list of clichéd punishments for me bringing this up.

- fail at relationships
- can't get women to begin with
- gay
- misogynist... wait there it is:

Marriage has its place, i don't think it should be abolished as a legal contract,to me, the way you're phrasing it reeks of slight misogynism as to why it should be abolished.

I already conceded that I'm willing to not call for abolishing it. I ask in return that I can rightfully call men who get into those contracts fools without me being called crazy, et al.

Its a structure in society and it's also a reaffirmation of love, not a gold digging plot. And not everyone lives by the latter.

Again I ask, why is a legal contract necessary to "reaffirm" love? And do you ignore the divorce rate and the fate of men in most divorces? They lose.

________________
Here's one guy's thoughts about it, I don't agree with some of it, but his main points are right:
YouTube - How Feminism Screwed my Generation