Marriage and aging: A generalization.

[RolandtheHeadless]

If marriage hasn't worked for you, then abolish it for yourself. Don't try to abolish it for those of us who are very happy being married. (34 years here.) Maybe you should quit going out with the bimbos. What is it about certain men that makes them fall for the wrong type of girl?

Marriage isn't easy. You're not always madly, passionately in love. Sometimes you wonder if you love the other person at all, or may long for a bit of novelty.

But if you stick it out through the hard times -- and yes, it helps to be the kind of person who hates to fail -- you will be rewarded with a much deeper commitment with another human being than you can hope to find elsewhere.

[iPhantom]

Originally Posted by RolandtheHeadless

If marriage hasn't worked for you, then abolish it for yourself. Don't try to abolish it for those of us who are very happy being married. (34 years here.)

You'd be the same without being married if it's about your relationship. Marriage doesn't force you to be happy with your wife. It's just a sort of contract.

You make it like marriage is something way harder.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by iPhantom

You'd be the same without being married if it's about your relationship. Marriage doesn't force you to be happy with your wife. It's just a sort of contract.

You make it like marriage is something way harder.

But a marriage IS something more than just a relationship.

[RolandtheHeadless]

Yes, marriage is more than just a live-together relationship. When I was young, I didn't think so, but growing older has taught me better.

[manganimefan227]

Yeah, just don't marry people 20 years older :P

[xyzone]

Originally Posted by MMM

These are random figures, at best. If you have some substantive economical stats, then I would love to see them.

Which? You don't believe that nearly 1 billion people in the world suffer from hunger? Ok, then. You can go research it or you can consider me a liar. Same goes for the divorce rate.

But a marriage IS something more than just a relationship.

What, exactly? Besides a legal contract.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by xyzone

Which? You don't believe that nearly 1 billion people in the world suffer from hunger? Ok, then. You can go research it or you can consider me a liar. Same goes for the divorce rate.

What, exactly? Besides a legal contract.

No, xy, you tried to manipulate my words by saying since some people in Africa weren't hungry the fact a certain percentage were "wasn't bad". Which I never said.

You have approached to topic of marriage in a very black and white, when the truth is, it isn't that black and white. As I stated earlier, the sheer number of successful marriages that don't end in divorce is a testament to the fact that marriages do work, and has been a successful institution for thousands of years.

In fact, if you wait until the age of 30 to get married, only about 10% of marriages end in divorce.

You ask what a marriage is, besides a legal contract. If you really think it is nothing but a legal contract, then I suggest you talk to someone who is married, and has been for a long time.

Yes, a marriage is a legal status, but it is also a religious and spiritual contract. It is society's way for two people to show complete dedication to each other. It is society's way of declaring to the world that you and your mate are "off the market". By doing so you are creating a family that is built to last. Those who are married, rather than just living together, are seen by society, and their families, differently.

So, I do understand why younger people might not understand what the bid deal is, but it is one of the largest milestones in a person's life, and one of the biggest and most difficult decisions a person will ever make.

[xyzone]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

You know, I`m having a really hard time figuring out whether you hate women, hate marriage, hate women who get married, hate men who get married, or what exactly.

What I hate is the way things are going while some people do this:

If all women are gold diggers only attracted to jerks and looking to screw men over (except for the "exceptions")... How would abolishing marriage change anything?

I never said that. I said the ones who can be tend to be, and that the current system of legal contract union (marriage) encourages this. I'm also only talking about in America. I know for a fact that other countries such as in latinamerica are not so lavish towards women in a divorce and the divorce rate is lower. Coincidence? Let the people decide.

Very convenient, don`t you think? It`s kind of funny that you brought up mercedesjin earlier in the thread because you`re dropping into the same type of territory. Anything that doesn`t follow your opinion is clearly either an exception or anyone thinking that way has been brainwashed and forced by society to feel that way.

The difference is that I have presented some tangible evidence while the they have presented "works for ME" and "I don't like it, you're wrong", opinions. And even if their experiences count as evidence, then so do mine and I presented those, too.

I actually agreed with a chunk of what you were saying at the very beginning, or at least what I thought you were saying. I agree that divorces favor the woman too much in a lot of cases, and that husbands and fathers get the short end of the stick way too much. But you`ve deteriorated into just spewing hate for women and encouraging guys to screw them over because it`s nature and they deserve it for not being attracted to better guys.

I agree that the system favors the woman but this is not going to change so the source must be attacked, that being the marriage contract, and since I know it's not going to change, my advice against marriage stands.

And it's not hate, it's love, if anything. Because clearly the women are screwing themselves by acting stupidly without direction after all the supposed freedoms feminism has earned them. I encourage the guys to seize control of the situation through whatever relatively ethical means available; that's what most women inherently prefer anyways. Or to put it another way, if women can put on fake eyelashes, the guys should put on fake attitudes. Besides that, things will work themselves out once the delusions are discarded by enough individuals. The actual actions are flexible.

You continually go on about all women wanting to screw men over - and if they do not it`s only because they cannot... Regardless of whether this is true or not - it really has NOTHING to do with marriage.

That's your opinion. I already told you the motivations are all interconnected. If you don't agree, that's fine.

Abolishing marriage - or making it unnecessary - would do nothing to change the dynamics of a relationship.

Again, or perhaps it would and these are all assumptions from us both. Either way, I'm advising guys to not get into a marriage contract.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by xyzone

Again, or perhaps it would and these are all assumptions from us both. Either way, I'm advising guys to not get into a marriage contract.

So, without marriage how can a person show his dedication to his or her mate that doesn't allow him or her to shove off at the drop of a hat?

[xyzone]

Originally Posted by MMM

No, xy, you tried to manipulate my words by saying since some people in Africa weren't hungry the fact a certain percentage were "wasn't bad". Which I never said.

No, but anyone could see it that way if they chose to. That was my point. The fact that you say many people are happily marriage doesn't rebuff the divorce rate any more than some people eating in the poorest continent rebuff the hunger rate. That was my point.

You have approached to topic of marriage in a very black and white,

I don't agree.

As I stated earlier, the sheer number of successful marriages that don't end in divorce is a testament to the fact that marriages do work, and has been a successful institution for thousands of years.

Here we go again. You're doing the same thing as above. Thousands of years is irrelevant. We're talking about now. The divorce rate has never been this high. So since the odds aren't great, there's no reason for a man to risk it when the system favors women in this area. That is the core of my argument, nothing more. No b&w, just mere probability.

In fact, if you wait until the age of 30 to get married, only about 10% of marriages end in divorce.

Where did you get this from? Regardless, even considering various sources, the divorce rate as a whole for first marriages is 41-50%. Even assuming your stat is correct, that's still 1 bullet in the 10 chambers.

Yes, a marriage is a legal status, but it is also a religious and spiritual contract. It is society's way for two people to show complete dedication to each other. It is society's way of declaring to the world that you and your mate are "off the market". By doing so you are creating a family that is built to last. Those who are married, rather than just living together, are seen by society, and their families, differently.

That's an opinion. It could just as well be seen as what it tangibly is: a legal contract. The ceremony can be had. That is no problem. And I think people will figure out you're off the market when you're living and having children with someone in a home. With that I could just as well say the contract is a superfluous and outdated at best. But this from us both are just opinions, certainly.