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06-15-2010, 12:02 AM
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Also the higher your education level the lower rate of divorce. A four year degree cuts the divorce rate by half. 
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06-15-2010, 12:54 AM
On my me and my husband`s first date - he took me out for coffee and cake (he paid), we went around to various places (he paid), then we went grocery shopping (he paid) for ingredients that I used to make dinner for him.
I don`t ever recall paying for anything other than transportation costs. He eventually even bought me a cell phone so it would be easier to keep in touch. We`re now married and have been for 9 and a half years.
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06-15-2010, 12:55 AM
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06-15-2010, 12:57 AM
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06-15-2010, 01:43 AM
I just wouldn't feel right if my date payed for everything. I'm the type of woman that was taught not to depend on any man financially or otherwise. I feel that if I have the money to flaunt while we're out on a date, I'm gonna split the bill with you. But since it's Japan and the men were raised to be that way, I guess it wouldn't be a problem if he pays.
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06-15-2010, 03:13 AM
Wow... I guess I'm cheap because I usually split most of our meals out. As far as dates go, I've paid before, but so has my girlfriend. She does most of the cooking, but I'll cook sometimes too, so I guess we have a different kind of balance than most people. We usually split groceries, too.
To be honest though, the man paying for a date (certainly if it's note meant to be a long term relationship) is not much different for just paying. It's a little more classy, but there's always that aspect of it. I understand what MMM said, and I think that's a pretty good policy... but if the girl never intends to cook for you then, to me at least, there's a bit of that weirdness there. If we're strictly talking about dates (particularly with people who have been dating for a while), I can't say... but if we're talking about regular old going out, then I've seen the girls pitch in most of the time. I think what MMM is talking about shows something deeper about the Japanese culture. There is a sense in 義理 (giri) in what he's talking about. You do something for someone with the comfort in knowing that your actions will be reciprocated somewhere down the road. I don't mean that in the sense that you're doing something looking for a reward, but I mean it in the way that there is trust in your relationship (be it with friends, family, or lovers). Sometimes you may throw down 30 bucks for someone... but you know they'll do the same thing for you in one way or another later on. What I did not know was that men paying for women was so standard in Japan. I haven't seen as much of it (or done enough of it myself) to really have gotten an understanding of that I guess. As a foreigner women will always be happy when you open a door for them or let them through first and say things like "ohhh! `lady` first?", which is always a pleasure. At the same time, though, you see some guys holding their girlfriends' purses. I don't wanna hold my girlfriend's purse... that's why I don't have a purse myself. I carry other, heavier things, but not a purse (unless I'm holding it while she's going to the bathroom or something like that). Frankly, I don't think my girlfriend wants me carrying around her purse all the time either. I've seen guys carrying their girlfriends' purses down the street... I've never seen that in America, the percieved land of "ladies first". I may be straying into the "S or M" topic a little bit here though.
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06-15-2010, 03:36 AM
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This is part of the male id. (as in id, ego, super-ego). If a man asks a woman out for a date and they have dinner, etc., and at the end of the meal she pulls our her wallet and says "So, how much do I owe you?" it would completely ruin the mood. Ladies, understand. Men LOOK FORWARD to taking women they like out for dinner. This is why they work. We work to make money in order to be able to do things like this. This is what single men want to spend their money on. There is nothing more emasculating than a woman who refuses to let a man treat her like a women. YukisUke, if you feel like you have to pay for a date once in a while, let the man know in advance. Tell him you want to take him to some place you really like. Still, this may be an uncomfortable situation for him. But if you give him the warning to mentally prepare for it, it may work out and his ego won't be too bruised.
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06-15-2010, 05:51 AM
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I have read an article about Japanese male paying for meals for female. The article stated that it's normal in Japan but nowadays some people prefer spliting the bill just like the Americans do. It also stated that men love to take care of their girlfriends and treat them well, but it seems that some girls (not only Japanese) take it as granted without any appreciation. As a result, men less intend to buy their female friends a meal now.
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06-15-2010, 06:56 AM
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I think there is confusion between "casual dating" and "serious dating".
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but...what if a fellow is visiting Japan, and a lady friend insists on paying after a meal? That is, if the two are just friends.
