sperm donor. any1?

[evanny]

Fielo im not being snobby or anything..
it's just that those odds are so astronomical that worrying about that would be pointless. moving to other cities, countries, different social groups, accidents etc. - you have to take all that into account and you'll see its nothing to be bothered by.

P.S but those kids who find their donor fathers don't have actual rights to demand anything afterwards? its not like they are demanding some monthly fees like after the divorce one side pays for children.
what were those events that made it to news and why?

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by evanny

P.S but those kids who find their donor fathers don't have actual rights to demand anything afterwards? its not like they are demanding some monthly fees like after the divorce one side pays for children.
what were those events that made it to news and why?

To be honest, I'm not entirely certain. The law that went through to say sperm-donations would no longer be anonymous happened when I was still in school, so I didn't pay all that much detail to remember the specifics. I'll do an internet search though and see if I can find out for you, I think that the reason why certain events made the news was because some children did try to demand child support and payments, but I could be wrong. Some of the other members like Dogs and Columbine are from the UK, and older than I am, so they might be able to answer you better

Edit: BBC NEWS | UK | England | London | Sperm donor to pay child support - yeah, I was right. Some sperm donors can be legally held responsible for paying child support, or they could be at the time the article was written three years ago.

Second Edit: The link focuses on a man who donated to a friend, rather than through a centre. If donated via regular routes I'm sure that the child can't actually demand anything from the biological parent, especially as they can't discover that parent's identity until they turn eighteen (I think, could be wrong).

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

Some of the other members like Dogs and Columbine are from the UK, and older than I am, so they might be able to answer you better

*laughs* I honestly don't know much about it. The only thing I can offer is that one of my friends became a sperm donor for these reasons:
1) he would like to have kids but;
2) he's gay,
3) feels like there's no guarantee that a long term relationship would happen where kids would be an option and;
4) had to have a testicle removed.

I'm not suggesting this is the case for most men, but whelp... there you have it.
Or perhaps the drive to donate stems from personal experience; people are more likely to donate money to charities or give blood if someone they know has or has needed the service of those donations, perhaps the men who donate sperm despite the relatively few legal or financial incentives have personal incentives instead.

[Suki]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

It used to be anonymous, but like Dogs said now its not anonymous at all. The child can very easily find out who their sperm donor is

I very much doubt that since it is ILLEGAL for the center/hospital to give out that information. And finding out through DNA testing? What, you gonna have every grown-up male in your country take the test until you find one that is a match...? Not likely.

My thoughts on it, I probably wouldn't do it if I were a male. I'd find it hard to live knowing I have a kid somewhere. And ok, doning sperm doesn't make you a father for that child, but still, I couldn't live knowing there's a kid somewhere carrying my genes. I'm not against it at all, I just wouldn't do it, no matter the amount of money I got for it.

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by Suki

I very much doubt that since it is ILLEGAL for the center/hospital to give out that information. And finding out through DNA testing? What, you gonna have every grown-up male in your country take the test until you find one that is a match...? Not likely.

It may be illegal in other countries, but not in England. Sorry that the link is from the BBC like the one in my other post was, but I'm a bit too lazy to do a real search, lol. I think the law came in effect in 2005, but basically sperm donors no longer have the right to anonymity here.

BBC NEWS | Health | Sperm donor anonymity ends

[evanny]

suki.
is this the correct term? ovum ? well women can also donate those.
so its not exclusive to males
and even if i do get accepted it won't be for the money.

P.S that case were child demands something afterwards is just dumb.

[TalnSG]

Donations are still confidential in the U.S., when done through a medical facility. After the U.K. changed their laws, it was discussed here and rejected. As a result, the U.S. is one of the few countries not needing to ask for help supplying materials for fertility or research. And it is one of the countries were it is legal to pay the donor.

Personally, I object to fertility treatments in general. It's not like the human race is on the verge of extinction, so the only reason for it is emotional and stinks of vile ego issues.

But that does not mean I have any objection to donations. Genetic studies require good samplings and lot of them. And there are enormous benefits from research that have nothing to do with birthing another human on this planet.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by evanny

suki.
is this the correct term? ovum ? well women can also donate those.
so its not exclusive to males
and even if i do get accepted it won't be for the money.

P.S that case were child demands something afterwards is just dumb.

I haven't checked out any websites on this subject.

Imagine you are a child by an unknown donor-- Is that natural--No real father in your life.

It is not natural at all. Rather similar to many who were or are adopted-- they often yearn to know their roots-- who made them the way they are.

even more so in the case of donors.


I personally hate it when some gay couples can choose shall we say-- A woman in America to donate her egg-- then use a surrogate to carry the child, donate their own sperm-- Hey presto a designer baby.


I hate the thought of using women as surrogates. She will think its okay I get paid for carrying this child that is actually an alien in my womb--

many are heartbroken when the baby is born and given to the COUPLE---

It is not easy.

when donating is anonymous-- A man can help many childless couples if one or other is incapable of having their own child.

But when a child can come calling--Looking for its BIO father-- that can scare the hell out of a fella.


none of us know what happens to many donated eggs from a female donor.


It is a huge subject to discuss.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

I haven't checked out any websites on this subject.

Imagine you are a child by an unknown donor-- Is that natural--No real father in your life.

It is not natural at all. Rather similar to many who were or are adopted-- they often yearn to know their roots-- who made them the way they are.

even more so in the case of donors.

I don't know if it IS the same though. Of course some people will want to know about their donors, but it's a slightly different situation. These weren't unwanted or abandoned children; and unlike adoptees their mother usually IS their real parent, and who's to say there was no dad.

Actually, someone I went to school with and her brother are both sperm-donor children. They grew up with two parents who have loved and supported them and have had stable, uncomplicated childhoods. I haven't really asked, but I don't think either of them have any inclination to try and find out who the donors were (even if it were possible). There's no "why didn't you want me, why did you put me up for adoption?" questions to deal with, it's less emotional. The sister in the pair likened it to to blood donation. Like, ok you have a link to the person, but on such a tiny, tiny level. They only ever knew you as gunk in a medical sample. Might be interesting to meet them, maybe say thanks for not doing it into a kleenex for once, but... then what? If anything, I think most of her curiosity about it was reversed; aimed at her parents and the situation leading up to her birth rather than who actually donated in the first place.

As for gay couples and sperm-donation; it's often the only real option for lesbian couples, so I have nothing against it. As for surrogation, I don't really know enough about it, but I don't think all surrogate mothers are coerced into it. Some are relatives of the parents-to-be, and they interviewed one lady on TV who had surrogated something like 7 babies? Her view was that she just really actually ~liked~ being pregnant and helping create new life. She certainly didn't seem reluctant or distressed about it, or seem to view her situation as her being 'used'. Maybe she's the exception, not the rule though.

Also there's a good possible reason why surrogates and egg-donors sometimes aren't the same people; it's easier to get donor eggs from the USA but there aren't as many surrogate mothers there as there are from other countries; also I would think it would be easier for some surrogate mothers (and maybe for legal reasons) if they had no genetic tie to the child.

I don't consider separate egg donors and surrogates to be 'designing' a baby either. Rejecting perfectly good foetus' because they aren't male, or blue-eyed or something, that's designing and I feel that's wrong, but there's also got to be some selective element rather than just grabbing the first sample available- you'd want your child to at least marginally resemble you or your partner.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by Columbine

I don't know if it IS the same though. Of course some people will want to know about their donors, but it's a slightly different situation. These weren't unwanted or abandoned children; and unlike adoptees their mother usually IS their real parent, and who's to say there was no dad.

Actually, someone I went to school with and her brother are both sperm-donor children. They grew up with two parents who have loved and supported them and have had stable, uncomplicated childhoods. I haven't really asked, but I don't think either of them have any inclination to try and find out who the donors were (even if it were possible). There's no "why didn't you want me, why did you put me up for adoption?" questions to deal with, it's less emotional. The sister in the pair likened it to to blood donation. Like, ok you have a link to the person, but on such a tiny, tiny level. They only ever knew you as gunk in a medical sample. Might be interesting to meet them, maybe say thanks for not doing it into a kleenex for once, but... then what? If anything, I think most of her curiosity about it was reversed; aimed at her parents and the situation leading up to her birth rather than who actually donated in the first place.

As for gay couples and sperm-donation; it's often the only real option for lesbian couples, so I have nothing against it. As for surrogation, I don't really know enough about it, but I don't think all surrogate mothers are coerced into it. Some are relatives of the parents-to-be, and they interviewed one lady on TV who had surrogated something like 7 babies? Her view was that she just really actually ~liked~ being pregnant and helping create new life. She certainly didn't seem reluctant or distressed about it, or seem to view her situation as her being 'used'. Maybe she's the exception, not the rule though.

Also there's a good possible reason why surrogates and egg-donors sometimes aren't the same people; it's easier to get donor eggs from the USA but there aren't as many surrogate mothers there as there are from other countries; also I would think it would be easier for some surrogate mothers (and maybe for legal reasons) if they had no genetic tie to the child.

I don't consider separate egg donors and surrogates to be 'designing' a baby either. Rejecting perfectly good foetus' because they aren't male, or blue-eyed or something, that's designing and I feel that's wrong, but there's also got to be some selective element rather than just grabbing the first sample available- you'd want your child to at least marginally resemble you or your partner.

Well columbine--- I do know that many surrogates regret.

I will talkabout this later. Giving birth-- then just passing the baby over can never be easy.


I have belonged to both adoption and Gay forums. I know how many people feel in these situations. i know how I feel not knowing who my dad is.


The programme where there two guys chose an American woman to donate her egg-- then a different surrogate-- sorry-- for me thats out of order. anyway will discuss this later.