Womens rights in Japan or elsewhere

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by MMM

Yes, I agree with this. Since when has raising your own child been defined as "smothering"? This worries me.

I have nothing against people and couples that put their work and social lives as a priority. I just have an issue when they decide to be parents, but those priorities don't change. When you decide to become a parent, being a parent MUST be the priority.

If you job is more important than your child, then don't have children.

If your child is more important than your job, then quit your job.

"smothering" I think is being too over indulgent and possessive.

today on radio three they have Mozart music-- and they were talking about parents being too pushy. Leopold Mozart encouraged the young Mozart-- taking him around to show him off at various influential venues.

Mozart Was a genius-- but one has to ask if there had not been the encouragement and PUSHING by his father-- would his genius have had an outlet.
I believe that everyone has a talent-- but not everyone discovers their talent unless they have been exposed to it and encouraged to do so,

some parents are extremely Pushy-- but too often it is so they can show off their child prodigy to others.


some parents can be too protective also-- which is a way of smothering the child.

[SSJup81]

Oh, I forgot to mention this. One of the teachers I work with here openly admitted that he wishes he could be a "house husband". His wife became pregnant, so she's on maternity leave. He said he wants to stay at home with the baby and for her to go back to work. It was interesting hearing a Japanese man say that.

[dogsbody70]

I still have problems in thinking father and mother is seen as having the same role.

I personally believe that women will treat their child differently from the way a man might. Surely its instinctive to a woman.

I do believe that it should be better to have both parents but how many men have the chance or time to relate with their own child. Yes I know there are men that take on that role now-- maybe they might be better with a boy rather than a girl because of understanding what its like to be male.

maybe I am talking rot but I still think we are definitely different--thank goodness.

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by MMM

It is fine if you disagree, I am just asking you to explain why.

12 months of leave... that is great. Much longer than the US, I believe. Can a 12 month old take care of himself?

You still didn't answer my question, if both parents don't want to give up their careers to raise a family, what is the point of having children at all?

As my mother said regarding my birth, "I was a nice surprise". Aren't most births "surprises"?

I don't see anything wrong with two people working, as long as they're still caring for the child, spending time with the child, loving the child, etc.

There's always nursery schools, daycare, maybe other family to help out (in my case, it was my grandmother, like when I was older and I was in school and came home, my dad would be on his way to work and I'd have about an hour before my mother got home, so I was with my grandmother), etc.

Most people, seemingly, can't live on a one-person income. They have to work to make ends meet.

[GoNative]

Originally Posted by SSJup81

Wow, paid maternity leave! What's that? lol I don't think I ever had a job that offered something like that.

Even Japan has paid maternity leave for up to 14 weeks. Usually 6 weeks prior and up to 8 weeks after the birth. It is paid by the national health insurance. The US would be one of the very few countries in the world that doesn't have paid maternity leave. Even most 3rd world countrries have it!

Parental leave - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

I still have problems in thinking father and mother is seen as having the same role.

I personally believe that women will treat their child differently from the way a man might. Surely its instinctive to a woman.

I do believe that it should be better to have both parents but how many men have the chance or time to relate with their own child. Yes I know there are men that take on that role now-- maybe they might be better with a boy rather than a girl because of understanding what its like to be male.

maybe I am talking rot but I still think we are definitely different--thank goodness.

Well, my situation is an interesting one. My earlier years, I was always with my father. He was the main one to take care of me during the day and stuff. When we moved that final time and I was in 4th grade and he went to one of my school functions, one person actually asked if my father was a widower since no one had ever seen my mother. lol But like I said, for that school, her job was too far away for her to be active in it like my previous two elementary schools.

It may be more instinctive for women, but men can be good fathers/parents too and as loving as a mother can be.

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by GoNative

Even Japan has paid maternity leave for up to 14 weeks. Usually 6 weeks prior and up to 8 weeks after the birth. It is paid by the national health insurance. The US would be one of the very few countries in the world that doesn't have paid maternity leave. Even most 3rd world countrries have it!

Parental leave - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My jobs never have. Didn't have paid vacation either at one of 'em. Love to find loopholes to get out of that, too, but meh. I was also joking about the "what's paid maternity leave" thing.

My mom said she had a 6 month leave and had planned in advanced (financially) before even taking it, but it was partially paid, I'm sure.

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Really? You don't have that? In the UK, it's law. 39 weeks is the current length of paid maternity leave, set to rise to 52 weeks in April. (This is the minimum and most employers allow longer than that.) Men are entitled to 26 weeks.

Well, some jobs don't offer that and other things, but it depends on the job. I don't think a long-term perm temp worker would get something like that. There'd probably be a loophole to get out of giving it, as well as health insurance or any other real benefits (like sick leave or vacation). It's more like, "I hope I don't get pregnant, I hope I don't get sick, and I hope I can last until an actual holiday and not have to take a vacation." I'm only speaking from a US POV, though.

[GoNative]

I didn't actually realise the US didn't have legislated paid maternity leave! It's rather incredible really!! And they only offer 12 weeks unpaid leave!!
Puts things into perspective a bit though...

Most employers in Australia will also offer far more than what is legislated by the government in paid and unpaid leave.

[SSJup81]

Nope, not legislated. It's just like the insurance thing. Some workplaces can get out of paying it, so the employee works with no health insurance. Up until now, every single job I've had, I've never had health insurance, and that includes my Assistant Teaching job back home. They got out of it, because they only had me working 30 hours a week, even though, technically, it was definitely about 40 since they had me doing jobs I wasn't even licensed to be doing...like having to stay with a special ed child all day when the teacher that's supposed to just wouldn't show up. I did it anyway because I felt bad if I would've left, but it was way too often that it happened. No matter what, though, I could only clock in for 30 hours.

This is another factor that always kept me from having kids. I couldn't afford it, I didn't have health care benefits, and if I had become pregnant at any point, I wouldn't have had a paid leave.