I really need help from the fathers out there.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by MMM

Then by all means, TALK to your partner about what she would do if she does happen to get pregnant, that way you can gauge that risk beforehand.

It's a good idea.. but it doesn't solve the dilemma whether that occurred or not.

I mean if it didn't occur, you can't go back in time.

And if it did occur but the situation still arose it doesn't solve anything.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Suki

I agree fully. This isn't what we're discussing. Salvanas knew what might happen so he and his girlfriend used contraceptives, which failed them, and now they find themselves facing a situation they wanted to avoid by using contraceptives in the first place. They did nothing wrong, are you gonna tell them they deserve to be in this situation because they were aware of the risk and chose to have sex anyway? Cause that's pretty much what you said in your previous post.

Maybe it is inappropriate, but I was engaging in the general conversation, and I said I wasn't meaning to talk about the OP.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone. Contraceptives are not 100% fool-proof. That's reality. If someone thinks contraceptives are 100% fool-proof, then they are acting naive.

I am not saying they "deserve" to be pregnant, I am saying they took a risk and beat the "odds that are so minute they barely count".

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

It's a good idea.. but it doesn't solve the dilemma whether that occurred or not.

I mean if it didn't occur, you can't go back in time.

And if it did occur but the situation still arose it doesn't solve anything.

If you can't talk about sex with your partner, then you probably shouldn't be having sex with them.

But your last point is a good one. Men should understand that just because a woman might say she would get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption (absolving the man of any legal financial responsibilities) doesn't mean she won't change her mind if she actually does get pregnant.

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by MMM

But your last point is a good one. Men should understand that just because a woman might say she would get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption (absolving the man of any legal financial responsibilities) doesn't mean she won't change her mind if she actually does get pregnant.

That's actually a very good point. I have a family member who swore she would have an abortion should it ever happen, and her boyfriend and his mother were told this and supported her decision to do so, it was pretty much a given that an abortion would take place if - God forbid - they were caught out. Then a few months later she fell pregnant. The child is five now, a beautiful kid too, but needless to say the father was less than impressed and there's been a lot of hassle between the two since. He wasn't ready for a child and I know he resents her for 'having gone back on her word'.

I think pregnancy is a tough issue. No woman can say for 100% certainty that she will follow a certain course of action, because I think once you know you have a child inside you then it's no longer a hypothetical abstract but a reality. Suddenly its not a thing, but a potential life. So I think a lot of mothers change their minds for or against abortion, because suddenly the issue becomes something different. If it's the wrong time to have a baby they might have an abortion even if they said they wouldn't, or if they feel attached to the 'child' they might keep it even if they said they wouldn't.

So it's something for men to think about - assuming that the woman will follow one course of action isn't always going to hold true in the long run. . .

[GoNative]

Originally Posted by MMM

A man agrees to have a baby with a woman the moment he puts his thing inside her. He knows the laws and knows the risks. We can say "It's not fair!" But it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone engaging in sex. Having sex when you don't want to have a baby is risky behavior.

I am not making a moral judgement, but just showing that it is a gamble when engaged in.

Well the obvious course of action then is to just have anal sex. No contraception required and no chance of a baby! Still feels great, so everyone is happy!!

[MMM]

Originally Posted by GoNative

Well the obvious course of action then is to just have anal sex. No contraception required and no chance of a baby! Still feels great, so everyone is happy!!

You are very blunt, but raise a good point. There are other ways to enjoy each other's company that do not make babies.

[GoNative]

Of course as a sodomite you will go to straight to hell!

[Rinai]

Well. I'm not a father but I basically have a dad that would samurai slice anything for me. My dad was kicked out of his own house for having a kid so young and it's not like the said kid was you know... welcome at first. But as time went one, the family adapted to the new edition to the family. I haven't had kids but I've had to help take care of new borns and all. It's not easy at all. Raising a kid is probably the most stressing thing you'll do because the results of that won't even show probably until they're their in their senior year of high school or out of high school. Sure, people can walk away from a child and complain about being forced to be a part of its life but when it comes right down to it... I mean... it's just. The best. You know? I'm speaking as a child with both parents involved in my life. It just makes me real happy. My parents have talked to me about things and stuff and they've told me how the world kid of stops when you have a kid. It takes too much time and energy that they lost their chances in a lot of things they wanted to do in life. But now that I'm older, they have their chance to finish what they started back then. So, as far as that, I guess what I'm trying to say is that don't see having a kid as the end of the world but more of like something that's delaying you from what you want. Raising a kid will seriously help a person grow.

*plooka plooka*

[RealJames]

Just to give my two cents:

If I was a uni student, and 20years old, I'd flat out say:

"The choices before you are abortion, giving the child up for adoption, or being a single mother and trying real hard to get alimony from someone living in a different country. I'll stay with you through the first two but I only live once and this isn't the way I want to do it."

I wouldn't wish that situation on any 20 year old, so I'd be perplexed at anyone wishing it of me, especially the one who is meant to love me.

[GoNative]

I just feel in this particular situation where both parties had been taking contraceptive precautions then there is basically an assumption that a child is not the desired outcome of their sexual relationship and this is understood by both. Due to an unlucky course of events pregnancy has occurred. It hasn't occurred due to either party being irresponsible. With this in mind if she now wishes to continue with the birth then I don't see how it is fair to force the male to be a father against his wishes. If they weren't both taking contraceptive precautions then I would think very differently about this. But since they were I really believe there is a good argument to be made that a child was definitely not desired and has only occurred due to an accident. To be held responsible for that for the rest of your life is one hell of a burden in my book, considering the options available.