Emotion Management

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

using a punch bag is perfectly safe. all this fancy psychology. go out and do something energetic--- useful. when i was upset with no one to talk to i found that punching cushions did help. not punching people.


no doubt many fancy modern ways of thinking think differently but there'S nothing like hard physical work or exercise to wear you out.

I fully understand what you're saying, and it does make sense. I totally agree with the idea of excercise, and/or picking up a hobby like gardnening, as Columbine said, which requires physical effort also.

In light of what Columbine said though I do think perhaps doing something violent, such as punching a pillow or a punching bag, may be detremental to a person. It causes one to associate the violent act with the emotion of anger. It's like the experiment with Pavlov's dogs . . . whenever he served them dinner he would ring a bell, so that in the end they associated the bell with dinner, so even when he didn't feed them they would still salivate when they heard the bell regardless. I think that if you were to punch something when angry then it would condition you the same way, so when someone really does something to irk you then your first instinct may be to actually punch them too . . .

I'm not saying that this would apply to everyone, as you said you aren't violent and this method works for you, but if you had someone who's emotions are all over the place - basically unstable - as the original poster is, then is it a good idea? You have control over your emotions and can say 'I won't punch someone if I'm angry', but if the OP hasn't that control (which she admits she hasn't) then who's to say she wouldn't punch someone also?

I think a good compromise between the two might be physical sports. Boxing, martial arts, swimming etc., because then you get the excercise and the burst of something phsyical/violent to exert that anger, but at the same time you're being taught the self-control and restraint with it, and its in a controlled environment. Although this is when someone tells me that will be bad conditioning too, in which case I'm out of ideas, lol!

[tipsygypsy]

Man! I must be genius! I came up wit the best n' easiest solution for that HimeChan13 gurl! She needs to sit on my lap n' let my arms around her hahaha.
dun chu y'all think so? lol

[ryuhebi13]

I agree with what the other members have suggested so I wont rehash old comments. All I will say however is that there is no shame in taking medication or seeking help. You obviously are not happy with things the way they are right now yet they can only improve once your treatment starts. If that is what you need. You've taken the first step by opening up to us and I applaud you for being brave enough to share.

Look after yourself.

[File0]

Originally Posted by HimeChan13

I believe there is something seriously wrong with my emotions. They are often out of control and incredibly srtong. When I get angry or hurt mentally, I just want to destroy everything around me and scream. When I am happy, well, that is rare, but I feel euphoric. I try to be an open minded person and I thought that might help my mood swings, but I still get hurt the exact same way as before. I just feel like giving up hope and let my emotions run free and stop caring who it will effect. I feel kind of desperate to just run away and get somewhere else to start a new life. I can't stand my own skin anymore... I don't feel quite good enough.

So, any thoughts? Maybe some way to help?

May I ask how old are you?
Your problem seems to be a rather natural thing amongst teenagers. These things come and go with hormonal changes
If I'm right and you're at your 16th or so, than you're pretty much all right, just have to survive the next few month or years and you'll be as good as any of us who survived our teenage years too
I know it doesn't mean nothing right now from a stranger, but ask your friends I'm sure they feel the same or very similar things like you do.
Ah and do not try out any drugs, it might sound cool or funny but is not!!! A young person with labile emotions couldn't do worst than trying out something like that. I mean it can become much worst after using drugs. Just don't go down on that road!
It really won't last forever drugs aren't the solutions!!!!

Have you got some plans for your future? Would you share them with us?

Sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native speaker, but I had to say something after someone recommended drugs for you...

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

using a punch bag is perfectly safe. all this fancy psychology. GO out and do something energetic--- useful. when i was upset with no one to talk to i found that punching cushions did help. not punching people.

With all due respect, you are vastly confusing the average, manageable frustations that most of us suffer on a day-to-day basis, with an actual and debilitating problem with controlling strong emotions. The average person can very easily go whack a cushion when they're a bit mad with no problem, but telling someone who literally falls into an irrational anger so intense that they CANNOT stop themselves from physically lashing out at anything around them, to go and hit things whenever they experience stress, is like telling an alcoholic to go drink vodka whenever they feel thirsty. Exercise to dispel stress is fine, I'm not disputing that, but violent activity would be less than helpful.

Originally Posted by RobinMask

I'm not saying that this would apply to everyone, as you said you aren't violent and this method works for you, but if you had someone who's emotions are all over the place - basically unstable - as the original poster is, then is it a good idea? You have control over your emotions and can say 'I won't punch someone if I'm angry', but if the OP hasn't that control (which she admits she hasn't) then who's to say she wouldn't punch someone also?

Right, it's a blind rage. It's not even remotely rational; I had a class mate who suffered from it as a side effect of his depression- his aggression got sparked off at random once when he tried to do laundry and discovered they were out of laundry powder and he 'came to' (his words) straddling his brother and trying to strangle him. He was horrified; he gets on well with his brother (sibling squabbles aside) and certainly didn't wish him that kind of harm.

Originally Posted by RobinMask

I think a good compromise between the two might be physical sports. Boxing, martial arts, swimming etc., because then you get the excercise and the burst of something phsyical/violent to exert that anger, but at the same time you're being taught the self-control and restraint with it, and its in a controlled environment. Although this is when someone tells me that will be bad conditioning too, in which case I'm out of ideas, lol!

I think the key word is 'physical', rather than violent. Boxing and martial arts probably wouldn't be all that helpful for people with a very extreme reaction, but for some with more issues to do with say, seeking fights for no good reason or if they have only a moderate lack of control over their anger, the obedience aspect of the art and the philosophy could be a good way to refocus their intentions. Swimming's really not a bad idea though, things like cycling or even just instant sorts of exercise; My class mate used to do really fast sit ups when he felt himself getting mad until his meds got settled enough for him to control it in other ways.

[dogsbody70]

my god columbine you don't half exaggerate.


i used to go for long walks to let off steam. you are writing as if its unusual to get angry.


there are too many clever clogs who changed the way we bring up our children. too many interfering busy bodies.,


god preserve me from these psychologists. kids never used to play up at school like they do today. common sense is needed.


all children need to have boundaries. you are ott with your imagination and learning to have self control.


sport or hard work is a good way to let off steam.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

my god columbine you don't half exaggerate.

What do I exaggerate?

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

my god columbine you don't half exaggerate.


i used to go for long walks to let off steam. you are writing as if its unusual to get angry.

sport or hard work is a good way to let off steam.

Again, I understand what you're saying, but I think maybe you have missed the point?

It is normal to get angry, depressed, or annoyed. We all experience these things probably on a near-daily basis, but the majority of these people are "normal" - for want of a better word - and can deal with these issues as they arise. You might take a long walk, someone else may write a poem, another person may rant with their friends . . .

The issue arises in problems like bipolar disorder, clinical depression, borderline personality disorder etc., these are people that may turn to unhealthy ways of coping. They might self-harm, grow violent, etc. These people - by their very nature - cannot use the same coping mechanisms as people free from these disorders, because their disorders prevent them from doing so. I think what Columbine is saying is that in these cases suggesting to punch a pillow or scream etc. is not productive, and as these people feel these things often it isn't exaggerating to say it is a severe issue.

I think you have a very valid point, but likewise so does Columbine. There's just perhaps a difference in which people these coping mechanisms are for - your ways of coping are valid, but not so for the individuals Columbine mentions, likewise Columbine's points are valid but perhaps not valid for healthy individuals.

Edit: I'm only making an assumption this is to what you referred, it's hard to be certain without a quote, so forgive me if I'm mistaken

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

my god columbine you don't half exaggerate.


i used to go for long walks to let off steam. you are writing as if its unusual to get angry.

You edited, so I'll amend; Again, what do I exaggerate? We're not talking about normal anger here. It's normal to get angry sometimes, it's is NOT normal to become so angry that you cannot control yourself. OP is not talking about normal emotions, he/she is talking about an intense emotion that is uncontrollable and irrational. This is a problem precisely because it is outside the spectrum of what is 'usual'.

[tokusatsufan]

Actually I think I might need anger management before I go to Japan. Particularly in the last years of school I could never quite be as happy as everyone else.