Freedom?

[GoNative]

Originally Posted by Demitrichan

A lot of adults forget what its like to be a teen
A lot of people don't remember how much they craved freedom

I don't think adults forget what it's like at all but part of being an adult and a parent is being responsible for your child. As your child grows and experiments with independence then this will nearly always create some issues. It's never been any different.

Originally Posted by Demitrichan

To me it sounds like OP, just needs to get out.
I think every kid at some point has a think they do as a form of rebellion.
As for this one person they rely on. Some people aren't as strong as others
and for all we know this one person could be the one thing they have to take the
Pressure from life away. People depend on each other its human nature
We are social creature. I've seen people be alone and rely on themselves for to long
and the only thing it serves to do is make them cynical.

I would ask everyone that posts in this thread to look at both side of the story.
In all honesty this sounds like a classic case of a parent scared to make mistakes so they don't trust their kid. And the kid doesn't know what to do and feels trapped. Adults aren't always right an neither are kids.

Instead of telling OP they are wrong. How about making unbias suggestions.

Also don't assume that hust because someone is young they know nothing of the world.
Its insulting to any young person teen or not.

Couldn't agree more with you that part of growing up is becoming independent and rebelling against the authority of your parents. How much angst and problems this causes will depend on how reasonable both the parents and child are. Personally I went to boarding school for a year at the age of 14. In that year I became incredibly independent and self sufficient. When I returned home I had huge iussues integrating back into the family environment and accepting their authority over me. Had a few very turbulent years until I left home at 18 I can tell you. It wasn't that my parents had forgotten what it was like to be young, in fact they were incredibly lenient and open minded, it was that I had stopped being a child in that year away from home (well at least I felt that way).

My advice to the OP is try not to be too selfish and self absorbed. The world is not just about your needs and wants. Part of growing up is realising that we don't just get what we want in this life, it is almost always about compromise and if we have dreams of something different then to reach them takes effort and time. Try to consider and see things from your parents point of view. They love and want to help you grow but also want to protect you. If you find the protection is stifling then talk with them about it. Do this when everybody is calm and happy, not in the middle of a fight over something. Your relationship with your parents is like any other relationship it will work better if you communicate.
When I was a teenager I must admit that I didn't exactly follow my advice above but why not learn from the mistakes us older buggers have made?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Demitrichan

What evidence do you have that A lot of them take in to account how it felt even if they do?

Of course. I am old enough to have teenage children, and I remember my high school days like they were yesterday. All my friends do, too. I can now understand the choices my parents made for me now, even if I couldn't then. I can also remember choices I made then that I look back on with regret.

[Demitrichan]

So because you remember those days.
All parents take all things into consideration all the time with every decision?
Because even to suggest such a thing would be a short sited view.
You can't always take example from your life and apply it to others.
Sometimes parents aren't good at what they do.
There is a such thing as a bad parent
Strict parenting can equal bad parenting.
Just because someone's young does not mean they are wrong
and more than you might think someone older with believe that they are right because they are older.
and sense you were once a teen yourself I know you've seen it too.
It is impossible for one person to be right simply because of age or experience they are only more likely to be right.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Demitrichan

So because you remember those days.
All parents take all things into consideration all the time with every decision?
Because even to suggest such a thing would be a short sited view.
You can't always take example from your life and apply it to others.
Sometimes parents aren't good at what they do.
There is a such thing as a bad parent
Strict parenting can equal bad parenting.
Just because someone's young does not mean they are wrong
and more than you might think someone older with believe that they are right because they are older.
and sense you were once a teen yourself I know you've seen it too.
It is impossible for one person to be right simply because of age or experience they are only more likely to be right.

Parents understand that kids don't like every decision that is made, and understand that decisions they make may break the hearts of their children, but sometimes those decisions have to made. That's life.

Naturally parents like to make popular decisions, but sometimes that isn't possible. I remember when I was young my best friend had to move across the country because if his father's job. We were so mad, and couldn't believe how unfair this was. How could his father not consider his child's feelings when making the decision to move. Now that I am an adult I can look back and see how shortsighted and selfish WE were being, but at the time we couldn't see it like that. The father was doing the best thing for his family, even if the children didn't see it that way.

Of course there are bad parents out there, and of course sometimes kids are better at making decisions than their parents. But what I am saying is ALL kids feel this way at some point in life, and I bet a majority of adults look back on those times and laugh.

[Demitrichan]

Right but we aren't talking about a kid. We are speaking of a young adult.
I know what you mean when you talk about selfish decisions.
I used to make them all the time.
But then my dad died a couples months back and I had to grow up and fast.
I get thar parents make unpopular decisions but no kid or young adult. Should EVER feel trapped in their own house a friend of mine killed themselves because of that. Its a bad thing.
I feel for OP's situation.
I'm sure you've realized that it could easily be either better or worse than OP makes it out to be.
It saddens me to hear a teen has Cabin Fever.
That is depressing and I think we all realize that. I mean am I wrong?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Demitrichan

Right but we aren't talking about a kid. We are speaking of a young adult.
I know what you mean when you talk about selfish decisions.
I used to make them all the time.
But then my dad died a couples months back and I had to grow up and fast.
I get thar parents make unpopular decisions but no kid or young adult. Should EVER feel trapped in their own house a friend of mine killed themselves because of that. Its a bad thing.
I feel for OP's situation.
I'm sure you've realized that it could easily be either better or worse than OP makes it out to be.
It saddens me to hear a teen has Cabin Fever.
That is depressing and I think we all realize that. I mean am I wrong?

I still get called "kid" so please don't be offended.
Sorry to hear about your dad.

And I also agree, feeling trapped is awful. Do the OPs parents not let him go outside? Is he not allowed to see friends? I think if I was the parent of a teen I would WANT him to get out of the house sometimes.

[HimeChan13]

Originally Posted by MMM

And I also agree, feeling trapped is awful. Do the OPs parents not let him go outside? Is he not allowed to see friends? I think if I was the parent of a teen I would WANT him to get out of the house sometimes.

I'm a girl And I do get to go outside, but I live in a place so far away from everything. I'm nowhere near walking distance to any place. I can see friends, but transportation isn't so easy to come by. I can't just get a ride somewhere whenever I want. But, I am really done complaining. I'm sorry if I sounded like a whiny teenager. :/ I guess I kind of am... But thanks for the advice...

[GoNative]

Hime I don't know of any teenager that didn't have similar issues to those you are going through. Obviously your isolation isn't helping. Just remember that you will get older and you will one day get to be independent and get to make all your own decisions. Being young doesn't last that long! Enjoy it as best you can because being an adult isn't all fun and games either!!

[Ryzorian]

Freedom is never free, it costs something somewhere.

You seem upset because life around you seems "structured". It is, take that structure and utilize it as your framework for adulthood. You will learn in time that freedom, requires alot of responsability.

[Nyororin]

Trust me - the grass just looks greener on the other side. Once you get over there, you will find that it`s already dead and has just been spray painted.

I had the experience of receiving "freedom" at about 13. I went from living with normal, maybe a bit old fashioned, "parents" (my grandparents who had raised me from a baby)... To living with my mother, who hadn`t (and still hasn`t) gotten past the selfish teenager phase of development. In other words, she thought she`d do what she had wanted her parents to do and give me complete and utter freedom. Plus, she was too selfish to offer up any "help". I wasn`t yet at the age to want "freedom"... And never actually got that far. By the time I was at that age I was trying to figure out ways to escape the situation, play down the stigma, and be a successful adult. Wanting to "do my own thing" never played into any of it.
Now, 15 or so years on, I don`t think I`ve changed much as a person. I just have the accumulation of actual life experience, and have pretty much reached the goal of productive adult life.

Anyway though... I don`t really see how being an adult would help any of the problems the OP is having.
Just to toss up the grim world of adulthood... And to show how it can actually *reduce* freedom...

Yes, you can drive. But a car isn`t going to drop out of the sky with a never-empty gas tank. As an adult you definitely cannot count on being able to use the family car - you`re free, just as your parents now are. They have absolutely no obligation to help you out or even let you live there.

So... You`re living alone, with a car you took out a loan on because you don`t have that much money but you need the car to be able to get to work... to afford to pay for your apartment, utilities, food, and the car itself.
Want to go out late? No, wait, you have to get up and go to work at 7. If you take the day off you`ll not "get in trouble" - you`ll lose your job and then your home and car. Want to buy such-and-such? Wait, if you buy it you won`t be able to afford to put gas in the car, so won`t be able to get to work... and repeat the above scenario. All your friends are getting together - but wait, you have to work to be able to afford to live.

Seriously - adulthood has an incredibly low amount of "freedom".