Why is the Japanese legal system so messed up ?

[StonerPenguin]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I find the report of girls having sexual experiences with much older men at a very young age a bit interesting... and pretty much opposite my experience.

I went to an all girls high school (in Japan). The topic came up a LOT, and very casually. It falls into the same level of "seriousness" as breast size. In other words, something that comes up within 15 minutes of meeting.
The norm was 16 or 17, and with guys about the same age. As it was something *good* to have experience to talk about, and older boyfriends were looked on as status symbols... (The whole "same age guys are immature" thing) Chances are there were more girls who were lying about having had sex with a college guy than those who were lying about not having had sex at all. There is no strong stigma attached to sex, and no real pressure to stay a virgin.

Only one girl I knew had done something like that (sex with much older men), and it was because she was a shallow image obsessed thing who slept with older guys to get money to buy designer bags.

I can`t see any reason women would lie now about having had sex with older men when they were 13 or 14 - so maybe it IS a different type of woman that seeks out and dates foreign men... Or who is more open to dating a foreign man.

Yeah, I was gonna say something similar... No offense James, but as a self-proclaimed slut it's relatively safe to assume the women you are having relations with are also... sluts. And I know it's really petty to say this but generally women who have sex with a lot of guys have had something weird or traumatic happen to them. To quote RDJ in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" talking about women in L.A.;
Now, you take one of these gals, who sleeps with 100 guys a year, and I bet you if you look in their childhood, there's something rotten in Denver.
-Denmark.
That too! But it's abandonment, it's abuse, it's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my papa!"... and then they all come out here!
I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on!

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by StonerPenguin

Yeah, I was gonna say something similar... No offense James, but as a self-proclaimed slut it's relatively safe to assume the women you are having relations with are also... sluts.

I take no offence from this or from Nyororin's comment.
I should have mentioned that while a few of those girls who I asked were girls I slept with, the greater majority of them were (and still are) just friends.

Although what might be more psychologically interesting is why the two of you assumed that I had sex with all of them

That being said, many of these women see me as a form of confidante, a position often taken by trustworthy teachers. I am also quite bold and don't lack the fear of asking such things for the sake of deepening friendships more quickly.
And like I said, they come from the many facets of society, some are married, with or without children, business women, hostess girls, university students, etc etc.
Many of them aren't even English students but simply friends of friends.
The only real thing they seem to have in common is knowing me and their experiences and being Japanese...

Nyororin, the few girls who didn't have such experiences were all from all-girls schools lol, I was wondering if I should have mentioned that and now I wish I had
If I have a daughter in Japan I am DEFINITELY sending her to an all-girls school and university!!

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by RealJames

Although what might be more psychologically interesting is why the two of you assumed that I had sex with all of them

It is a private subject, and not one women tend to discuss with random men. I kind of doubted it would come up unless you were close to them - ie. in a relationship. I wasn`t assuming that you were sleeping around with countless women, but rather that you`d talked about the subject with the women you`d been in relationships with.

Nyororin, the few girls who didn't have such experiences were all from all-girls schools lol, I was wondering if I should have mentioned that and now I wish I had

The thing is, my friends weren`t all just from my school. I found it pretty much the same all over. The girls at coed schools were sleeping with other students - the all-girls school girls were more likely to have college boyfriends. But none of them were sleeping with much older guys.

Maybe it`s your area? There may be a more lax feeling toward relationships with older men. I know in some areas it is something that even parents approve of - if she is going to be sleeping with someone, better the girl to have a relationship with an older more responsible man who could take care of her than with a young guy who couldn`t. (Of course, I have yet to see a parent who wants their daughter to sleep with anyone, regardless of age.)

A phenomenon I noticed with all girls schools is that there are a lot of teacher-marries-student cases. In the time I was there, two newish teachers (first few years out of university) married students just after graduation. Most of the male teachers were married to former students who`d they`d met when they first started teaching and married after graduation.
It was definitely a positive thing, and parents were thrilled.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

It is a private subject, and not one women tend to discuss with random men. I kind of doubted it would come up unless you were close to them - ie. in a relationship. I wasn`t assuming that you were sleeping around with countless women, but rather that you`d talked about the subject with the women you`d been in relationships with.



The thing is, my friends weren`t all just from my school. I found it pretty much the same all over. The girls at coed schools were sleeping with other students - the all-girls school girls were more likely to have college boyfriends. But none of them were sleeping with much older guys.

Maybe it`s your area? There may be a more lax feeling toward relationships with older men. I know in some areas it is something that even parents approve of - if she is going to be sleeping with someone, better the girl to have a relationship with an older more responsible man who could take care of her than with a young guy who couldn`t. (Of course, I have yet to see a parent who wants their daughter to sleep with anyone, regardless of age.)

A phenomenon I noticed with all girls schools is that there are a lot of teacher-marries-student cases. In the time I was there, two newish teachers (first few years out of university) married students just after graduation. Most of the male teachers were married to former students who`d they`d met when they first started teaching and married after graduation.
It was definitely a positive thing, and parents were thrilled.

I wonder how many of those relationships started while before graduation.

Thanks for not assuming I'm such a slut I am a little bit of one but not that much haha

I think you might be onto something with the location. It's been my experience that the people in the Kansai area, especially in Osaka city, are a lot more lax when it comes to lifestyle and also talking about themselves.

I also wonder how much it could have been happening around you without knowing about it, as I'd mentioned some of these women didn't even tell their closest friends at the time it was happening.
I also agree it's a very personal thing that most people would never divulge about themselves, perhaps as I'm see to be an outsider and don't frequent their other circles I'm a safe outlet and the "well... why not?" mentality comes up often.

Who knows really
Maybe I really did somehow manage to end up being friendly with the minority

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I wonder how many of those relationships started while before graduation.

All of them, with no doubt at all. One even had the wedding directly after the graduation - we saw her off. It was her graduation and wedding day wrapped into one.
She`d had a crush on the teacher from first year, but it wasn`t until the end of second year that he started treating her as "special"... Their relationship was given the parental blessing based on the promise to get married after graduation. They followed through on it.

13 years later they`re still married, and have 3 children. He eventually changed jobs - now working in the textbook industry.

I also wonder how much it could have been happening around you without knowing about it, as I'd mentioned some of these women didn't even tell their closest friends at the time it was happening.

I guess that is possible, but with how incredibly fascinated everyone was with the whole idea and how "cool" it seemed to have "lost it" with someone older and more experienced... I kind of doubt it. I used to think that "guy talk" was, well, limited to guys... In a coed school the girls wouldn`t be caught dead talking about that sort of thing when guys might overhear. But in an all-girls school it was a different world, really.

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Well seems like you a little slow up there.. so I will get that for you again!

The reason why I said that was because you accused me to go there to make out with children.

Thats why I said this "Cause mabye you do not know that.. but girls in Japan look very, very young compared to Western." So it's pretty easy to end up with a 16 year old. Also the reason why I asked at which age I would be doing a crime considering we were talking about the 1 month sentence under Japanese law suits.

Considering that I do not know the language, to mistake somebody is quite easy yes!

Now maybe?

And my point to you was that although Japanese women tend to look younger than their age by western standards, you would have to be completely stupid to not realize the age range of a girl you have been interacting with for a while. And the chances of you meeting some high school girl at 1am at a club or whatever compared to meeting every other girl out there at the same time is kind of slim, and really your lack of language ability will be an indicator for that. I do not expect you will find many awesome English speaking high school girls hitting the bars and the clubs on a Saturday night looking for their gaijin fix. So unless you are trying to find jail-bait, you will probably never be in the situation you creepily seem to be imagining yourself in.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

All of them, with no doubt at all. One even had the wedding directly after the graduation - we saw her off. It was her graduation and wedding day wrapped into one.
She`d had a crush on the teacher from first year, but it wasn`t until the end of second year that he started treating her as "special"... Their relationship was given the parental blessing based on the promise to get married after graduation. They followed through on it.

13 years later they`re still married, and have 3 children. He eventually changed jobs - now working in the textbook industry.



I guess that is possible, but with how incredibly fascinated everyone was with the whole idea and how "cool" it seemed to have "lost it" with someone older and more experienced... I kind of doubt it. I used to think that "guy talk" was, well, limited to guys... In a coed school the girls wouldn`t be caught dead talking about that sort of thing when guys might overhear. But in an all-girls school it was a different world, really.

A few years back there was a high school teacher who had sex with her student in the US and it was frontpage news for like a week...
Funny how things are different lol...

High school class mates hooking up with college age people was pretty uncommon when I was in highschool, but still very cool. Having a girl a few years younger was hardly cool at all until I was in university.

[dogsbody70]

is this still connected to the Legal system?

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

is this still connected to the Legal system?

In a very vague, loosely connected type of way . . . I suppose you could argue the matter of sex and what classifies as statutory rape counts as part of the legal system, but I do wonder if it would be better off in a seperate thread. Didn't the forum actually have a thread dedicated to that topic a while back, actually?

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

is this still connected to the Legal system?

Highschool teachers having sex with their students is very connected to the legal system.
Furthermore, the fact it's accepted is what westerners call "messed up" which is pretty much the theme of this thread.