Why is the Japanese legal system so messed up ?

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

My daughter is with a man 17 years older--------------Too much-- But--this is her second marriage.

I can see the attraction of older men for young girls--maybe there is almost a father figure attraction?

I wonder how much 'too much' is when talking about age-gaps. I guess it depends entirely on culture and personal preference, after all - as mentioned - it seems more common and accepted in Japan than it does in the west. Personally I don't think there is an age difference that's 'too much' . . . unless you're eighty, like Hugh Heffner, and dating twenty-year-olds, then it's plain creepy

I don't see the attraction either, when it's more then fifteen years it reminds me too much of a parent, too. It's creepy, because it's like 'you're old enough to be my mom/dad' . . . then again I have friends dating guys around ten years older, some who fancy guys twenty to thirty years older, and they find its a lot better than dating guys their own age. My parents have a twenty-year age gap, and they've got a wonderful relationship.

I can't remember psychology all that well, but isn't it considered 'normal' somewhat because girls develop mentally and emotionally faster than men, so to date an older man would be to date someone whom you have more in common with? Also - back in the olden days - an older man meant more security and protection, he already had his life settled, so better marraige prospects.

Pros and cons to everything, I guess

Edit: Thanks to everyone for answering my earlier question, too

[dogsbody70]

when marrying man much older-- such as 17 years== Its\ a case of later in life that man will not be as fit or able to do the things he might have done previously/ It can be a heavy weight looking after an older man who is unwell or unfit. My daughters partner is disabled now- and quite a burden for my daughter although she never complains.

I guess good health makes a difference. One can get set in certain ways as one gets older.

Also an older man might die long before his wife--

However if couples of different age group are happy together-- then Hey Ho-- good for them.

I don't think its creepy to love an older man and often women like men who might be fatherly towards them. sort of protective.

I like mature men-- not youngsters who only have one thing on their mind also it should depend on their hobbies and interests. Of course if you are just sleeping around-- apart from under age-- what difference does it make so long as there is repect and not just being used for bodily use.

Older men can be much kinder-- and caring and thoughtful.

[GoNative]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

Also an older man might die long before his wife--

I bet a lot of those wives are counting on that!

[dogsbody70]

maybe but not all actually. some women actually love their partners and are loyal to them.

Not gold diggers maybe -- but on average women do marry men who are at least a few years older. I am not looking forward to losing my husband if that happens.

Three score years and ten was the old adage for our survival on earth so anything over that is a bonus.

I am old fashioned and not a fan of promiscuity-- which seems to be acceptable these days.


Men just looking for an easy lay.

[Suki]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

I wonder how much 'too much' is when talking about age-gaps. I guess it depends entirely on culture and personal preference, after all - as mentioned - it seems more common and accepted in Japan than it does in the west. Personally I don't think there is an age difference that's 'too much' . . . unless you're eighty, like Hugh Heffner, and dating twenty-year-olds, then it's plain creepy

I don't see the attraction either, when it's more then fifteen years it reminds me too much of a parent, too. It's creepy, because it's like 'you're old enough to be my mom/dad' . . . then again I have friends dating guys around ten years older, some who fancy guys twenty to thirty years older, and they find its a lot better than dating guys their own age. My parents have a twenty-year age gap, and they've got a wonderful relationship.

I wouldn't have a problem dating a much older man. Actually, I have realized that I tend to be attracted to men who are way older than me (I've only recently found that out about myself). And I'm talking 20, even 30 years older. Isn't it kind of weird in Japan for a girl in her 20ies (my current age) to be dating a man of about 50? When you say it is "more common" in Japan for young girls to date much older men, do you mean common enough so as not to have people think there's somewhat of a common interest on both sides of the relationship?

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by Suki

I wouldn't have a problem dating a much older man. Actually, I have realized that I tend to be attracted to men who are way older than me (I've only recently found that out about myself). And I'm talking 20, even 30 years older. Isn't it kind of weird in Japan for a girl in her 20ies (my current age) to be dating a man of about 50? When you say it is "more common" in Japan for young girls to date much older men, do you mean common enough so as not to have people think there's somewhat of a common interest on both sides of the relationship?

OK Suki.. now how is that supposed to work out with us now?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Suki

Isn't it kind of weird in Japan for a girl in her 20ies (my current age) to be dating a man of about 50? When you say it is "more common" in Japan for young girls to date much older men, do you mean common enough so as not to have people think there's somewhat of a common interest on both sides of the relationship?

I think that the "twice her age" thing would be a good rule to look at for how people think of the relationship. More than twice the woman`s age is going to likely be seen as a bit strange.
So, yes, a girl in her 20s is likely to be considered weird if with a guy in his 50s. But *40s* is likely not to raise any eyebrows at all. I know a few couples who married when the wife was 20 something and the husband 40 something. I haven`t seen any sort of negativity toward that age gap. These days 40 seems to be the "new 30", so definitely not "old".

Something I have noticed - when there is a large age gap relationship, the first thought in people`s minds isn`t that the woman is after money, or that the man wants a trophy... But rather that the man must want children pretty strongly.

[evanny]

didn't read all of this...but in comparison to Japan or any other country, USA has 1/4 of the worlds prisoners.
plus some states (not federal) have terribly mental laws, so if i had to i would take my chances with Japan rather than USA.

[Suki]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

OK Suki.. now how is that supposed to work out with us now?

I make a few exceptions every now and then, worry not

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I think that the "twice her age" thing would be a good rule to look at for how people think of the relationship. More than twice the woman`s age is going to likely be seen as a bit strange.

That is interesting.

Does it go for Japan only that it is ok as long as the man's about twice the girl's age but not much older than that, or do you think it's more like a general thing that also applies to Western countries?

Originally Posted by evanny

if i had to i would take my chances with Japan rather than USA.

You'd rather commit a crime in Japan than anywhere in the US?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Suki

That is interesting.

Does it go for Japan only that it is ok as long as the man's about twice the girl's age but not much older than that, or do you think it's more like a general thing that also applies to Western countries?

I can`t really comment on other locations.
Viewed from Japanese eyes, I doubt that a different standard would be applied unless it was pointed out that the customs in that country were different.

I have never dated a much older guy, so can`t comment from personal experience in or out of Japan.