What do you think about virginity before Marriage?

[RobinMask]

Post Deleted.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

What also annoys me is that virgins seem to get a whole stigma attached to them, being that they're 'inexperienced' or it's 'messy, that first time' and so forth, but then to be too promiscuous gets a whole stigma attached to it, too. A girl can't be a virgin, but she also can't be a slut, and it makes me really wonder what this 'magic number' is that people seem to think is acceptable.

LOLOL I didn't even mention that, but the sheer assumptions made by guys considering sleeping with an older virgin are sometimes staggering and not just a little hilarious. I won't go into details but my housemate's boyfriend came out with some real doozies on what he thought would happen the first time. Virgin=/= ignorant, incapable or biologically peculiar or completely inexperienced. Alarms do not blare if you try to walk into An Summers with a hymen. Then again, he was a complete moron. -_-;

As for Japan, I've seen sex how-to's in magazine aimed at teen girls, so I'd say there's less of an issue about pre-marital sex based on that alone. I doubt many parents actively WANT their offspring sleeping around like billy-o, but promiscuity is a slightly different issue to simply having sex before marriage.

[Umihito]

Hmmm, I think I'm a strange case :L

I don't believe in having to wait until you're married to have sex, but I also quite firmly believe that it should only be between two people for the rest of their lives.
Well, maybe this is what a lot of people believe, I'm not too sure.

For example, I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years. We were both virgins when we got together.

Now if she weren't a virgin when we met, I'd see things a lot differently. Of course I'd still love her to bits, but I just wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the other people who she'd been with. I guess I like the girl to be completely clean with the person she has sex with (and the guy too of course), and to keep that exclusiveness for life.
Otherwise I'd just not stop thinking I was mixing myself with everyone she'd been with, and I really can't bear to stand that thought...

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Columbine

As for Japan, I've seen sex how-to's in magazine aimed at teen girls, so I'd say there's less of an issue about pre-marital sex based on that alone. I doubt many parents actively WANT their offspring sleeping around like billy-o, but promiscuity is a slightly different issue to simply having sex before marriage.

I think you`ve made a really important point here. Sex before marriage is not promiscuity. Japanese attitudes toward promiscuity aren`t positive (are they anywhere?), but attitudes toward sex-before-marriage are quite neutral. I` d even dare to say positive. It is completely expected, and without religious stigma attached there doesn`t seem to be anything against it. Just the potential results, so be careful sort of thing.

Parents seem to talk to their children about not getting (or getting someone) pregnant and focusing on studies... Not about abstinence. I`ve heard countless tales of parents turning a blind eye to a child having a boyfriend/girlfriend over "in the bedroom" - and even of parents conveniently "going out shopping for a few hours" when one comes over.

However, I think parents are just as judgmental about their child`s boyfriends/girlfriends. If they don`t approve, you can bet that they`ll make it very very hard to meet up.

As a side note - one of my friends in school had been informally betrothed to the son of a family friend. They had grown up knowing this, were good friends, and were both accepting of getting married after graduation.
Both of them were encouraged to "enjoy themselves" while still in school by parents. She had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend - and everyone knew that they were pretty much guaranteed to get married in a couple years.

They got married as planned by family (I imagine if either had strongly rejected the idea they definitely wouldn`t have been forced), and a few months ago I got a card from her announcing the birth of their third baby.

If there were a lot of stigma attached to holding onto virginity until marriage, I find it hard to imagine being encouraged to have other relationships beforehand.

[YukisUke]

Originally Posted by hitotsz

And what do Japanese people think about it?

I honestly don't believe in virginity before marriage. Who gives a flying F**K about if I'm a virgin before I get married? Really?? I know I may not care but there are some people up here who do. So, for me, virginity doesn't matter.

[TalnSG]

Even when I was teenager (yeah LONG time ago) I was in favor of pre-marital sex. Virginity was a nice concept, but the thought of marrying someone I would have to be faithful to for the rest of my life without knowing whether we were sexually compatible was my personal version of a nightmare waiting to come true.

I didn't endorse promiscuity, but there was no way I was going to commit to someone I had not checked out in two very important ways - (1) did the sex work for both of us, and (2) what was it like living with them.

Unfortunately, I broke my own rules the first time I married and it only took two weeks to realize I needed a divorce lawyer. Those 2 rules are now ironclad and I will never break them again.

[hitotsz]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I always liked virgins. But I`m a girl, so I`m sure a male virgin guy is a bit different than a female virgin.

Why do you like virgins?

[ryuurui]

Originally Posted by godwine

most girls want to keep it for as long as they can..

This needs to be rephrased. Most guys through their retarded behavior make girls do not want to loose anything, especially their virginity. And I cannot blame them lol.

@ Whoever said that he or she likes virgins: What is wrong with you?

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by ryuurui

This needs to be rephrased. Most guys through their retarded behavior make girls do not want to loose anything, especially their virginity. And I cannot blame them lol.

@ Whoever said that he or she likes virgins: What is wrong with you?

I didn't make it, but think you've only read that comment out of context. Although I have to ask, what's wrong with virgins?

[ryuurui]

The question was directed at those who actually like them. There is nothing wrong with them, except the fact that they are bloody boring, in which capacity, people who actually like them must enjoy being in control as they are either scared of more experienced partners, or simply there is something else wrong with them.