Japanophile - and other open discussion

[MMM]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I can honestly say that in general the number and quality of friendships the average North American has are far more and far stronger than those of the average Japanese person.

There have been pages of responses I haven't read yet, so please excuse if I am repeating something someone has already said.

I would say without question there is no basis in fact for the above sentence. I agree with a lot you say, RealJames, but I think it is viciously short-sighted to say Japanese do not have close or deep relationships like North Americans do.

YOU may not have deep relationships with Japanese people, but that doesn't mean Japanese people do not have such relationships with each other.

I am surprised you made this statement, really.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Kayci

You would get thrown off for me. I apologize even when giving compliments.

I hope I do well. I have known their oldest son for a long time. (If anyone remembers my first post 4 years ago, he was the first boyfriend I had that was going back to Japan. xD)

I wonder what kind of gift would be appropriate though. I heard food specialty, and books are nice, but in my town, we are known for tri-tip, and thats...mainly it. (We grow pistachios and the county holds the raisin capital of the world, it claims, though.)

I have 33 days until I leave, and as it gets closer I get more stressed about what to get. I do want to make a good impression.

i gave a fishing lure from canada to my gfs father ... he was pretty stoked about that...
figure out what hobies they are into and find something american which isn't sold in japan

[Kayci]

Originally Posted by RealJames

i gave a fishing lure from canada to my gfs father ... he was pretty stoked about that...
figure out what hobies they are into and find something american which isn't sold in japan

I have been trying, but as I get little chance, and my friend keeps telling me /anything will do/

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by MMM

There have been pages of responses I haven't read yet, so please excuse if I am repeating something someone has already said.

I would say without question there is no basis in fact for the above sentence. I agree with a lot you say, RealJames, but I think it is viciously short-sighted to say Japanese do not have close or deep relationships like North Americans do.

YOU may not have deep relationships with Japanese people, but that doesn't mean Japanese people do not have such relationships with each other.

I am surprised you made this statement, really.

I'm kind of surprised too when i see it quoted in your post,
i said it based on my observations of my gf, her brother, and a few other people's friendship dynamics and the role those friendships play in their lives

they certainly have deep and strong friendships, just fewer, with less frequent visits and at a lower relative priority to other parts of life,

my friendships aren't that bad actually but it took some training lol,
just my observations of other peoples friendships though

[MMM]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I'm kind of surprised too when i see it quoted in your post,
i said it based on my observations of my gf, her brother, and a few other people's friendship dynamics and the role those friendships play in their lives

they certainly have deep and strong friendships, just fewer, with less frequent visits and at a lower relative priority to other parts of life,

my friendships aren't that bad actually but it took some training lol,
just my observations of other peoples friendships though

I think it is less cultural and more of a generational thing. For example, on Facebook people over the age of thirty average 200 "friends", but those under 25 average 1000+ "friends". Friendship means different things to different people. I saw you mentioned something about having 250 actual friends at home (I may be mistaken). I cannot imagine trying to manage or feel connected to that many actual people.

If you were to quantify my relationships you would see a lot of superficial ones, a fair amount of actual friends and a small number of truly close relationships. I can't really imagine having more close relationships than fingers.

[evanny]

if you believe this then actual friends during time in school is 17. after 40 it is down to 2 true friends.
YouTube - ‪NGC - Think Again video 2008‬‏

[Nameless]

I have a question, how frequent is that fascination with foreigner people ( westerners)?, also does this apply only to Caucasians? I hope it does, If I ever went to japan, I would feel awkward for having other people's attention...

How much time, does it usually take for a foreigner, to blend into a Japanese context?

I do not want to live there, (god no, it sounds like a hell covered with cherry blossoms), however having vacations there at some point of my life, would be nice.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Nameless

I have a question, how frequent is that fascination with foreigner people ( westerners)?, also does this apply only to Caucasians? I hope it does, If I ever went to japan, I would feel awkward for having other people's attention...

How much time, does it usually take for a foreigner, to blend into a Japanese context?

I do not want to live there, (god no, it sounds like a hell covered with cherry blossoms), however having vacations there at some point of my life, would be nice.

Are you asking about in 1981 or in 2011, as you will get different answers.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by RealJames

All those things are still okay, just with a call first and like "I bought some stuff for you and I'd like to drop it off, when's a good time to pass by?" and then not enter the house unless sincerely invited in.

If the phones kept ringing with no answer, contacting a family member to express concern would be the next step, a good friend would have family's contact info or a way to get it.

My friend lives in one room in her landlady's home. Other students also live there. Her landlady had told me to call any time.

Anyway its all in the past now so thats that. If you can't phone what are yousupposed to do?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

My friend lives in one room in her landlady's home. Other students also live there. Her landlady had told me to call any time.

Anyway its all in the past now so thats that. If you can't phone what are yousupposed to do?

It fascinates me you find the wishes and opinions of her landlady as any reflections of your friend's own wishes.