Japanophile - and other open discussion

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by mousee09

the hanging out style here it a bit difficult (people being busy, house it too small ect...)

This is by FAR the most difficult thing for me to deal with, to this day.
Everything else I've either come to like, understand and accept, or ignore.
But this one point...

I seriously miss just passing by a friend's house after work and knocking on the door uninvited.
Or calling someone out of the blue and hanging out 15 minutes later.

I also miss having like 200 friends, here if you have like 40 friends you're considered socially active lol...

- Being a lot healthier - That's a huge point too... thanks for reminding me of that!

[mousee09]

Originally Posted by RealJames

This is by FAR the most difficult thing for me to deal with, to this day.
Everything else I've either come to like, understand and accept, or ignore.
But this one point...

I seriously miss just passing by a friend's house after work and knocking on the door uninvited.
Or calling someone out of the blue and hanging out 15 minutes later.

I also miss having like 200 friends, here if you have like 40 friends you're considered socially active lol...

- Being a lot healthier - That's a huge point too... thanks for reminding me of that!

your welcome

tho i have to be honest this is part of the reason i could never truly want to live in japan for the rest of my life that and the staring.. but im satisfy満足 with my life now so that all that matters for now.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by mousee09

your welcome

tho i have to be honest this is part of the reason i could never truly want to live in japan for the rest of my life that and the staring.. but im satisfy満足 with my life now so that all that matters for now.

Yeah I fear it will drive me out of Japan before I make enough money to never work again ...

I keep holding out for the idea I'll meet this obscure group of people who actually do just hang out like westerners do...

[evanny]

wait...so Japanese don't hang out? i was under impression that they often go to arcades or spend their time in photo-booths. or just go shopping...well that was what i thought.

i am also so used to just hanging out. i give a call to my friend, we drive and pick up some sandwiches and then just chill at his house, my house or somewhere else. or go and smoke a water-pipe (hookah) by some lake, river for an hour. not to mention every friday or saturday when you get calls to come to a party or a club.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by evanny

wait...so Japanese don't hang out? i was under impression that they often go to arcades or spend their time in photo-booths. or just go shopping...well that was what i thought.

i am also so used to just hanging out. i give a call to my friend, we drive and pick up some sandwiches and then just chill at his house, my house or somewhere else. or go and smoke a water-pipe (hookah) by some lake, river for an hour. not to mention every friday or saturday when you get calls to come to a party or a club.

there's a huge difference between <22 and >22 years old,
university graduation hits, work starts, life ends, no joke

before 22;
it's not so different from western culture

after 22;
chilling at houses, not so much, houses are small and ... well people just rarely do it, girls do it more often than guys tough
chilling out during weekdays, incredibly rare
chilling out on short notice, only with very close friends, and even then.. not really that much
chilling out with a 1 month ahead of time plan, yeah that happens BUT be warned, cancellation due to work or not feeling well is quite likely
work takes priority for most people over chilling out
house parties, incredibly rare

chilling out is planned, organized, thought through, and often cancelled lol

I've met a few people who live outside this culture but it's really rare and uncharacteristic of Japanese people

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by RealJames

there's a huge difference between <22 and >22 years old,
university graduation hits, work starts, life ends, no joke

before 22;
it's not so different from western culture

after 22;
chilling at houses, not so much, houses are small and ... well people just rarely do it, girls do it more often than guys tough
chilling out during weekdays, incredibly rare
chilling out on short notice, only with very close friends, and even then.. not really that much
chilling out with a 1 month ahead of time plan, yeah that happens BUT be warned, cancellation due to work or not feeling well is quite likely
work takes priority for most people over chilling out
house parties, incredibly rare

chilling out is planned, organized, thought through, and often cancelled lol

I've met a few people who live outside this culture but it's really rare and uncharacteristic of Japanese people

You shouldn't categorize your 40 Japanese friends to an entire culture.. weren't you the one who told me this?

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

You shouldn't categorize your 40 Japanese friends to an entire culture.. weren't you the one who told me this?

I didn't say I have 40 friends here ... read again

I'm hardly generalizing, it's just well known. Seriously, you have no clue if you think I'm generalizing.

Japanese people do not chill out as much as people in the west, much much much less in fact.

As part of teaching English I also teach western culture, at least Canadian.
When I tell my students how often I used to hang out, how often my parents hang out with their friends, what's normal there, without fail every single time I get shock and then "culture difference" or "culture shock" as a reply.
Followed by an explanation much like the one I gave earlier.

[mousee09]

Originally Posted by RealJames

there's a huge difference between <22 and >22 years old,
university graduation hits, work starts, life ends, no joke

before 22;
it's not so different from western culture

after 22;
chilling at houses, not so much, houses are small and ... well people just rarely do it, girls do it more often than guys tough
chilling out during weekdays, incredibly rare
chilling out on short notice, only with very close friends, and even then.. not really that much
chilling out with a 1 month ahead of time plan, yeah that happens BUT be warned, cancellation due to work or not feeling well is quite likely
work takes priority for most people over chilling out
house parties, incredibly rare

chilling out is planned, organized, thought through, and often cancelled lol

I've met a few people who live outside this culture but it's really rare and uncharacteristic of Japanese people

i approve this comment. Though i do have planned, organized meeting with some of japanese people (normally a once in a month type thing tho...)

I dont hang out with people from my university that much because well yeah your statement basically explained it all. I hangout with mostly people from my religous group they usually dont cancel plans and we schedule little activities together.
I go over their house for dinner but it usually just with a 3 to 4 people max.

So yeah i do miss that aspect of western culture...i like spontaneous get together, hanging out.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by mousee09

So yeah i do miss that aspect of western culture...i like spontaneous get together, hanging out.

I was trying to remember the idea of spontaneous get together and couldn't lol, I've been away long enough that I can't even believe my own memories of just passing by a friends house uninvited to see what he was up to... but it's true isn't it? It did happen!? didn't it? lol

that would be flat out rude, and you would lose a lot of points with most friends if you passed by their house uninvited just to see what's up

[mousee09]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I was trying to remember the idea of spontaneous get together and couldn't lol, I've been away long enough that I can't even believe my own memories of just passing by a friends house uninvited to see what he was up to... but it's true isn't it? It did happen!? didn't it? lol

that would be flat out rude, and you would lose a lot of points with most friends if you passed by their house uninvited just to see what's up

yep you would, i did that once time because i wanted to give her a gift that i made. but i could tell that it wasnt cool to do that so now i made sure to mail first and see it it ok.

In the west, if you pass by somebody house and you didnt go visit them then you would lose points as well....very backward culture....