Japanophile - and other open discussion

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

You gotta need to step out of your little dream world and see the facts for ones.

But this is exactly why the Western society sucks.. because of people like you.

I so need to stop myself from replying, but...

I have been in Japan for a very long time. My entire adult life has been spent in the country. I speak Japanese fluently. I went to school in Japan (high school and university). My husband is Japanese.

If there is someone here living in a dream world, I do not think it is me. But hey, what do I know about Japan, eh?

Anyway though - this is the LAST I want to hear from you, Bobby. Insulting a mod directly is pushing it pretty hard.

--------------

Back on topic;

We had plenty of foreign friends who would just drop by if they were in the area and never had an issue with it. Neither of us are overly house proud. Even if having people over for a planned event we didn't ever worry about having the place spotless. If it was really dirty we'd just get a cleaner in as we both really hate housework.
We were well aware though of the issue Japanese people have with you just turning up and never really did it. We did have one family who we were very close to and we would occasionally if we were walking by their house (they lived close to us). They never appeared to have any problem with it but as I say we were really good friends.

I think the important part is that they were foreign friends. There is an understanding that the house isn`t necessarily going to be spotless, and that you will understand if theirs isn`t.
As for getting a cleaner - well, you would still need a bit of warning to call one, I presume.

I think that the best comparison would be more like having a friend stop by suddenly out of the blue when you have just gotten over an illness and have left everything a total mess (not just cluttered, but dishes in the sink, etc) AND you`ve just gotten out of the bath and are walking around in your worst torn and stained pajamas... And them just kind of pushing their way in. (And their house is always spotless on top of that!)

With close friends, I don`t think it`s an issue. But it is one of the closest expressions of friendship - you just don`t let people in without planning it unless they are very close.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

This leads me to wonder how it is that you dress at home that you couldn`t go outside that way...

Meeting outside the home is easier for everyone involved when you consider the amount of effort and planning that is required for having someone in your home. When something is not up to par at home, it`s entirely your responsibility - when out, it isn`t.
In my case, other than when in my pajamas, I don`t really dress down to the point that I couldn`t go out... So I can`t comment on that part. If I`m in my pajamas, I wouldn`t want anyone other than close family around anyway.



Quality is in the eye of the beholder. You feel that the Japanese style of friendship is not as good as the style you are accustomed to... But would someone who grew up with the Japanese style agree? I`ve heard from Japanese people who have lived abroad that they constantly felt pressured, intruded upon, and that friendship meant less because everyone was an instant "close friend" (ie. didn`t go through proper steps of friendship).

It`s all about what you`re used to and how you perceive things.



What level of "historical" are we talking about?

In the distant past, privacy in itself was something for the upper classes. Privacy meant money. Even in large houses where people came and went regularly, people with money had private areas.

I think that to a point this has carried over to modern homes. There isn`t the space to have split house areas - "private" spaces and "public" spaces... And a totally public space would be really negative as privacy is linked to privilege.

So you have a private retreat, and outside spaces are for public meetings. Being invited into someone`s home (private space) carries a much greater meaning.

I don't wear a shirt at home... maybe just shorts... usually anyways.
When my friends visited me in Canada, the only preparation I'd do was ... well... hide the "toys" and put on an undershirt if it was one of the girls visiting, or just stay shirtless if it was one of the guys

What I mean is that having to prepare for a visit is a difference.
I can understand that being a burden, if it were the case.

regarding the quality of friendships,
I've had Japanese friends in Canada who, like you said, felt they were close friends with everyone including myself too quickly, like the steps were skipped. To me they weren't close friends, just usual friends.
What i mean is that the things which close friends do in Japan, usual friends do in Canada. The things close friends do in Canada, perhaps only the closest of close friends do in Japan, a connection which many may not ever experience.

The details might just be semantics, but I just mean to generalize that Japanese people tend to spend a lot more of their life alone, or with their spouse/girlfriend or family, than with friends.
Friend-time in the west is a much more significant portion of a person's life, and thinking-time, and priorities.
Do you agree?

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I so need to stop myself from replying, but...

I have been in Japan for a very long time. My entire adult life has been spent in the country. I speak Japanese fluently. I went to school in Japan (high school and university). My husband is Japanese.

If there is someone here living in a dream world, I do not think it is me. But hey, what do I know about Japan, eh?

Anyway though - this is the LAST I want to hear from you, Bobby. Insulting a mod directly is pushing it pretty hard.

Nice how you just ignored the basic crime rate fact.. keep going..

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Girl, just the incredible crime rate alone gives me right! Most of the crimes which happen in Japan are done by foreigners little girl.

You gotta need to step out of your little dream world and see the facts for ones.

But this is exactly why the Western society sucks.. because of people like you.

OMG dude.. you are talking to a woman who has spent most of her adult life in Japan, and is married to a Japanese man... you are the one who needs to wake up from your dream world.

And btw way.. no.. the majority of crimes committed in Japan are done by Japanese people.. but you are so delusional there is no point in presenting you with easy to obtain facts.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Nice how you just ignored the basic crime rate fact.. keep going..

eat shit and die

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by RickOShay

OMG dude.. you are talking to a woman who has spent most of her adult life in Japan, and is married to a Japanese man... you are the one who needs to wake up from your dream world.

And btw way.. no.. the majority of crimes committed in Japan are done by Japanese people.. but you are so delusional there is no point in presenting you with easy to obtain facts.

I know her thats why I said it like that.

A very, very high precentage is done by foreigners. And the point of this statement was, that the incredible low crime it in a country of 120Mil people should show you how superior these people are towards us..

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Nice how you just ignored the basic crime rate fact.. keep going..

Oh and hey bobby even if you go with the whole crime rate BS route... the majority of those foreigners committing crimes are your precious Asian Chinese, and Korean people... how does that fit in with your retarded manifesto?

[Nyororin]

I gave the warning. Bobby, you chose to ignore it and continue.

Do not say you were not warned.

As Bobby will be unable to reply for a while, please return to the actual subject at hand.

[tokusatsufan]

What subject?

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I gave the warning. Bobby, you chose to ignore it and continue.

Do not say you were not warned.

As Bobby will be unable to reply for a while, please return to the actual subject at hand.

d=(^o^)=b
thank you!