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08-06-2011, 09:13 AM
Before joining an online dating site I met no women online, after joining, I met handfuls of them.
Japan cupid is the one I had joined, the gf I have now I met there nearly 3 years ago. Before meeting her there I met about 20 other Japanese girls from that site who lived in my local area all of which who wanted to be either my friend, my friend with benefits, my (exclusive?) sex-friend, my girlfriend, my wife, and some other weird things. Some wanted to talk for weeks online before meeting (in a public place) and others just came right to my front door the same evening we made contact. Look for what you want in the right place and you'll find it! 
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08-06-2011, 09:47 AM
A bit late to this discussion, but I'll toss in my info.
Japan has plenty of online relationship related culture, and plenty of sites to cater to it. In fact, I would even be willing to go out on a limb and say that Japan had "online" relationships before there even was an "online". With the tradition of arranged marriages and a culture that hasn't historically catered so much to "love" as a main factor in a relationship - there have always been relationship services of some sort. From what I understand, there were services hundreds if years ago to introduce singles in distant villages to each other and the like. Dating services are a very traditional thing, really. Doing it online is really just a recent update. You can find people wanting anything from a friend to a husband/wife online. It is still tradition for people to get special photos taken when they are 20 to use in the future for introduction services, on or offline. The main markets though are people looking for no-commitment sex or to get married. The areas between are not very represented, so if you are looking for one or the other, great, but the pickings may be scarce if you are looking for normal dating. When it comes to a relationship with someone outside of the country, things change a bit. There tends to be a pretty limited set of people... Mostly women who either can't manage a normal relationship in Japan (the type to run from!) or who want to be able to say they have a foreign boyfriend, but keep that at a distance so they don't really have to deal with any potential problems that might arise from a "real" relationship. And, of course, the freedom to just call it off whenever... But, whatever floats your boat, I suppose. If you just want to be able to say you have a Japanese girlfriend, I am sure you won't have too much trouble finding a girl who just wants to be able to say that she has a foreign boyfriend.
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08-06-2011, 10:17 AM
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I'll add that that's a good reflection of society too, not just the online community.
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08-06-2011, 08:07 PM
Are any people here on Mixi? (PM me yours if you are)
It's a Japanese social networking site, kind of like Facebook, it's not a dating site per se. However profiles are available for everyone to see and sift through as they please. I've had it for like 6 years, when I'm in Japan I get a fair number of messages (~2-3 a week) from people interested in foreigners or foreign countries, a lot who want to meet up, 7/10 it's women, 2/10 gay men, and 1/10 disturbed male youth who think they are black. Some are definitely sketchy, and as Nyororin points out a lot are the types you should run from, but some have also resulted in great friendships and relationships. I'm 24 now though, and a good amount of girls my age in Japan, both online and off, are looking for marriage partners, and after two nasty incidents (1 from a girl I met online, 1 not) in the past year I make it ambiguously clear (is that even possible??) that I'm not into marriage. They will also back off a bit if you tell them you won't be in Japan for the long-term. What surprised me at first about this is the open-mindedness of a lot of Japanese about meeting people online then in person. A lot of Japanese women do in fact regard it as dangerous, sketchy, desperate etc. but there's also a lot who are very interested in it, and not just the "Japanese men don't like me so I'm into foreigners" type. I daresay that Japanese are more open-minded about it than Americans would be about meeting foreigners in person they met online. Remember this isn't a dating site. I should point out that speaking Japanese and knowing the cultural dos and donts is a huge part of it though. I almost never get messages in English. I think this closely relates to what spicytuna referring to, about a sense of security. This is regardless of whether it's online or not. A lot of Japanese have very conflicting desires; they want to experience "foreignness" whatever that may be, without leaving their safety bubbles, and while speaking Japanese. The ones you meet who try and speak English, and/or who actually go abroad, are in the extreme minority, but will be the extreme majority of who you meet if you just use English. Anyways tl;dr Online relationships are very common in my opinion, though it is all relative. You will always be a foreigner BUT you can be both a foreigner AND someone who doesn't make people feel like they have to take large steps or effort to communicate and associate with you, whether through your personality, cultural know-hows, or language prowess (preferably all 3) Latest Entry = Today's Journey (click)
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08-06-2011, 09:21 PM
Hmmm, I signed up for http://japaneselifestyle.meta4networks.com, uploaded my picture and filled out my profile but I am not getting any emails or winks. Maybe I need to rethink this.
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08-07-2011, 05:49 AM
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08-07-2011, 06:57 AM
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Huh? Who am I being rude to? I'm not sure what you're talking about. Who said anything that was said here "wasn't good enough"?
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08-07-2011, 07:47 AM
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Quote:
When you said: Quote:
Note: I just spent 10 minutes of my life typing just THIS message, for free, for someone I don't know. Just like every other person who responded to your original question that you seemed so sincere in asking. Maybe you don't mean it this way but that's how it's coming across (to me at least.) If this is how you roll (i.e. taking people's suggestions [even from people who LIVE in Japan] and just saying "ahh, it's too hard never-mind) then: The next time I see a question from you posted on this forum - You can figure it out on your own. (I'm just being a little facetious in this post but I hope you get the drift...)
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08-07-2011, 08:45 AM
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08-09-2011, 03:40 AM
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Great statement and no need to necessarily apologize but it's good you are heartfelt about this. Friends ya say? Well, just be yourself you'll meet a lot of great friends/pen pals. Thought you wanted something more ... a pen pal with a little romance involved. If you want something more (which you have stated) you're going to have to start out with this mindset from the get go. Remember that girls tend to compartmentalize guys once they meet them. If they meet you and think you're a nice person to chat with then you'll be that "nice person to chat with" guy while some other guy is in the "this is the guy I have sex with" category. Once you're in a category it's hard to just up and move to another. Obviously, you're not going to be in that 2nd category because of distance. [These are simplified/extreme categories for example but there are many more such as: "guy who buys me things" category which guys behave themselves into and then have the audacity to call a girl a "gold digger" when they applied for that job. If people buy ME things...i'm taking them too.] Also, girls aren't very visual like us guys so finding a girl who is going to want video/pics/or the dreaded "cyber chat" with romantic / sexual contexts might be difficult too (especially if you don't plan on moving there/her here to marry.) This whole situation (i.e.: romantic "friend" from a distance) is difficult.
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