Hugging in Japan

[burkhartdesu]

Okay, so I know hugging isn't really a thing in Japan-- but has that changed in recent years?


When I left my host family (extremely emotional) I hugged my whole family... Probably because they knew it was the American thing to do-- but I swear to God they enjoyed it and wish they could hug all the time. The hugging was then followed by tears and endless waves/bowing.

Anyone have any experience hugging the Japanese?

[noodle]

The Japanese I know here follow the saying "when in rome, do as the romans", expect, it's not rome, it's France. So yeah, I've hugged and kissed (one on each cheek) all my Japanese friends. They don't seem to mind it, and some of them even like it and say it makes them feel Chic, and French. Whatever that means

[bELyVIS]

I always hugged my female friends there and my really close male friends too when I left. I think they want to be closer to others, but society rules don't approve of it. It is changing I think.

[MMM]

I took a group of high school students to Japan a few years ago for a 2 week exchange. On the final day we had a going-away party with our host families (at school) and then we were going to say goodbye to the whole school in typical ceremonial style the next morning. At the going away party there were many tears and much hugging. The next morning the school principal pulled me into his office and told me Japanese don't hug, and what he witnessed essentially looked like an orgy to him (not his words, but basically). He said if we ever wanted to do an exchange with them again, that there would be no further physical contact between our respective students. He was livid and I was in shock.

We never did an exchange with them again, not because of this incident, but because of declining numbers the school shut down (it was combined with another school that had another exchange program in progress), but it was one of the strangest experiences I ever had.

[SephirothVVC]

Originally Posted by MMM

The next morning the school principal pulled me into his office and told me Japanese don't hug, and what he witnessed essentially looked like an orgy to him (not his words, but basically). He said if we ever wanted to do an exchange with them again, that there would be no further physical contact between our respective students. He was livid and I was in shock.

Do you think this is how most of them would see hugging or is it just him?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by SephirothVVC

Do you think this is how most of them would see hugging or is it just him?

The English teachers I worked with there were surprised he felt this way, so I would say it is just him. I have met Japanese school principals and vice-principals, and in my experience they tend to be conservative and crochety.

[spicytuna]

Hugging isn't as popular in Japan as it is in the west - especially amongst adults who aren't in some sort of relationship.

I'll hug my Japanese friends in Canada but I'd never consider hugging my Japanese friends or relatives in Japan. Maybe a handshake at most.

[SephirothVVC]

Originally Posted by MMM

and in my experience they tend to be conservative and crochety.

well of course. my experience tells me its a job requirement.

[Polar]

Nice to see some things are universal

[pixisticks]

I think it depends on the person, and probably the age as well. When my friends and I went to the MAM store in Harajuku, we thought the shopkeepers were absolutely adorable, and we hugged them when we were leaving. They didn't seem to mind (of course, we also bought their stuff), but I doubt you'd get much more than a weird look if you went up to someone on the street and asked for a hug, haha.

If you know them, it's probably not a big deal. Especially in terms of 'goodbye's and whatnot--it's a very emotional time. So you should be okay.