Some Tips for Travelers to Japan

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

What you'll get is a whole bunch of white people that are used to being in the majority and then all of a sudden they've become the minority and so to THEM Japan seems racist. To my African American friend, Japanese society is no more racist than American society and according to his experience was a much more pleasurable to be black in at least.

I find this to be very true. They love it when people tell them how good their Japanese is and how good they are with chopsticks until the day someone cuts in front of them in line or gets served at the restaurant faster then them.

[RealJames]

I appreciate the racism name-tag being thrown around a whole bunch.

as hard as it may be to believe, my comments about Japanese men come from my experiences with Japanese men, no not romantic, but seeing the way my friends treat their girlfriends and wifes.
and yes also from my girlfriend and her mom, and often from students (without asking for it)

[RealJames]

I made some big revisions to the first post to fix the stuff I had a wrong idea about and to change some of my wording!

Thanks for the input!

[MMM]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I appreciate the racism name-tag being thrown around a whole bunch.

as hard as it may be to believe, my comments about Japanese men come from my experiences with Japanese men, no not romantic, but seeing the way my friends treat their girlfriends and wifes.
and yes also from my girlfriend and her mom, and often from students (without asking for it)

To be clear, I didn't call you a racist, I was agreeing with the observation about white guys in Japan.

Your observations about Japanese men may be your own, but your conclusions are based the cultural lens you see through to interpret them.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by MMM

To be clear, I didn't call you a racist, I was agreeing with the observation about white guys in Japan.

Your observations about Japanese men may be your own, but your conclusions are based the cultural lens you see through to interpret them.

It's true that we are all biased in that we can only observe things from our own eyes.
But the fact is that most people reading those tips with the intention of coming to Japan for a visit will be seeing it all from the same "western" perspective, no?

I have several Japanese guy friends and I don't think negatively of them, they are kind and wonderful and honestly would do anything for their girlfriends.
They may cheat now and then but that's in most cultures, they may treat their girlfriends like a maid, or in the same way their father treats their mother, but that's also in most cultures. All I can say is if Suki came here... what do you think would happen?

Anyways I edited those parts of the first post, check it out again.
My intention with that list isn't to force my opinions onto others but simply to compile a list of information that will be useful to visitors.
So if a topic enters the "debatable" realm then it can be edited appropriately or removed, as they were.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

[...] there are quite a few that are (or at least sound) VERY skewed.

[...] I will agree about the jaywalking... And point out the reason behind it.
In every situation where there is an accident involving car and pedestrian, the car is 100% at fault... Except for one - when jaywalking.

[...] There is a button at practically every intersection with a light in Nagoya - certainly not a small town. I think that it may be true for your area, but not for all or even most of Japan.

[...] I agree on this one. Walking and eating at the same time is a no-no, and I certainly do not think it`s old fashioned.

[...] A not so commonly known fact - men were some of the strongest supporters of the women only cars. Why? Because just shifting your bag could be misinterpreted as "rubbing" someone, which could lead to the end of a normal life.

[...] This is something that everyone who comes to Japan seems to be confused about ("what are they saying?" or "how should I respond?") - knowing that it is a normal greeting, has no deep meaning, and requires no response or even acknowledgment seems like something useful to a visitor.

[...] Using it to clean anything other than your hands (and around your mouth after eating) is impolite.

Thanks for all that information!
- I tried to fix the wording to make them sound less skewed.
- I never knew that about the j-walking and the insurance! Thanks for that info. I wonder if it's like that in other countries too but people just don't care so much lol
- Thanks to you and MMM, apparently I've managed to go to all the places that don't have them lol, or I just j-walk too much to notice. And I have been to Nishinomiya a lot too, going there in 1hr actually to meet a friend right near AwajishimaBurger (best burger place in Kansai hands down.. btw.. check it out).
- When I first got here I got massively evil-eyed by an obachan for eating a subway sandwich outside, even though I was tucked away in a corner.
- I also found that interesting about men wanting a women's only car too. honestly I feel like your husband does a lot of the time, and would prefer have all men around me so I can relax and not have to worry about being judged if the train moves the wrong way.
- The shopkeeper vocal slur confused the hell out of me for the first few weeks I was here until I learned enough Japanese to ask them what they were saying lol >< so I had it on this list
- Thank you for telling me that about the towels!! I swear I'd seen enough guys wiping the backs of their necks in the summertime that I assumed it was fine (it does happen a lot lol)! I will totally stop wiping my neck with it!

I really do appreciate the feedback though, and I edited the list to be less skewed and include all the ideas I heard. Please keep it coming!

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I appreciate the racism name-tag being thrown around a whole bunch.

as hard as it may be to believe, my comments about Japanese men come from my experiences with Japanese men, no not romantic, but seeing the way my friends treat their girlfriends and wifes.
and yes also from my girlfriend and her mom, and often from students (without asking for it)

As good intentioned as you were might have been trying to be. It was a racist statement to make that "Japanese men are perverted".

I'm aware that you've made changes to the original post and that it doesn't say that anymore so kudos for at least listening to reason. I still take issue with how you see Japanese men but I only have my particular worldview combined with my experience of Japanese men to back that up which only makes it as valid as yours (which isn't valid at all).

Furthermore, it's still racist if Japanese people believe it like your girlfriend and her mom. It's just more socially acceptable if it's coming from them. This is the result of internalized racism.. but that's a whole other thread.

[masaegu]

Originally Posted by JohnBraden

I suggest this be "sticky"ed....

Only if there were a jokes section here. Neither OP nor you seems to know enough about this country, period.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by RealJames

It's true that we are all biased in that we can only observe things from our own eyes.
But the fact is that most people reading those tips with the intention of coming to Japan for a visit will be seeing it all from the same "western" perspective, no?

That's my whole point. To truly understand Japan, Japanese culture and Japanese people and to be fair you have to look at things WITHOUT your cultural lenses. It's all about context.

You say men never hold doors for women in Japan. Let's just say that's true. A statement like this makes the assumption that holding the door is the correct or chivalrous thing to do.

Americans almost never say thank you a second time after receiving a a gift. You receive a gift, and say thank you, but it usually isn't brought up again, unless there is a special reason to do so.

If I am in Japan and someone gives me a gift, or even does something as small as buy me a beer, the next time I see them I should acknowledge that act of kindness.

We don't do that in America, so an American might look like a boor when he forgets to thank someone for an act of kindness, even if it is weeks or months later.

So the American may be judged on a standard that he isn't accustomed or prepared for. It's not in his cultural vernacular. If he lives in Japan, it should be.

However YOU are in Japan, and are judging Japanese culture based on YOUR cultural vernacular, not on the Japanese cultural vernacular. In that respect, I am sure it is interesting for newbies, but it is missing one level of information.

Don't get me totally wrong... you put a lot of work into this, and I think you have a good start. On some of these I'd like to see you take it to the next level.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by RealJames

as hard as it may be to believe, my comments about Japanese men come from my experiences with Japanese men, no not romantic, but seeing the way my friends treat their girlfriends and wifes.
and yes also from my girlfriend and her mom, and often from students (without asking for it)

This is where you`re getting mixed up.

That is cultural - not the behavior, so much, but the info being passed around.
You do NOT compliment the people in your family when other people are around. You just don`t. It`s like bragging - something you should never do. This goes for husbands, wives, children, etc. It is smalltalk. Whenever a group gathers, the smalltalk inevitably turns to "My husband is so AWFUL!" - "My wife is terrible!", etc. Combine this with a strong negative view of "henpecked husbands" - and you get women "complaining" about their husbands (as is culturally expected), and men making it clear they`re not "henpecked" (as is culturally expected). And the women playing up the cultural expectation that they`re treated poorly by their husbands. It has nothing to do with chivalry or what the people REALLY think... And has even less to do with what happens in private away from public view. It`s like a big social act, and the participants know what is going on. (And in the case where the act is incredibly different from reality, and this is known, it`s hilarious. Otherwise, you just sort of end up wondering what their home life is really like.)

I am getting the feeling that the reason you said Japanese people don`t smalltalk is because you weren`t catching what is considered smalltalk here.

Oh, and I would hope you know better than to believe anything a girlfriend says about ex-boyfriends or other men. That has nothing to do with Japanese culture at all - the same probably applies the world over. Would you like it if she were praising them to you? Women say bad things about exes because, well, it is in a way praising the current boyfriend.

What you'll get is a whole bunch of white people that are used to being in the majority and then all of a sudden they've become the minority and so to THEM Japan seems racist. To my African American friend, Japanese society is no more racist than American society and according to his experience was a much more pleasurable to be black in at least.

While this may be true, I don`t think it is the explanation for the white-guy-in-Japan syndrome. It`s more a combination of having been raised with the belief that Asian men are chauvinistic, poor partners, and crap in bed... And that Asian women would be so much happier with a white guy.
Then coming to Japan and being complimented - and of course having the girlfriends tell them they`re so much better - just having it reinforce the opinion they already had before coming to Japan. If you`re looking for something to support something you already believe, you`ll find tons of examples... and will disregard those things that do not support it.

But the fact is that most people reading those tips with the intention of coming to Japan for a visit will be seeing it all from the same "western" perspective, no?

Yes and no. They will see what they`re conditioned to see.
For example - if someone visiting just saw the women-only cars... Do you think they`d jump to the conclusion that they exist because "Japanese men are perverts"? They probably won`t unless they`ve already been told this before.
Any innocent action can be painted as something else if someone is told in advance that it carries that meaning. Imagine how it would seem if someone was told that the stuff being said when they entered a shop was "Japanese only!"...

- Thank you for telling me that about the towels!! I swear I'd seen enough guys wiping the backs of their necks in the summertime that I assumed it was fine (it does happen a lot lol)! I will totally stop wiping my neck with it!

It`s impolite, but not a taboo, so you will see guys doing it. It`s still impolite though and is something that should be avoided.

Only if there were a jokes section here. Neither OP nor you seems to know enough about this country, period.

I think that there is a place for this kind of info, and it`s not "joke" level. At the very least, it is a good way to see how Japanese culture and Japan is viewed by someone judging it almost entirely by a western cultural standard.
The issue isn`t the info - it`s the presentation of the judgement by another culture as fact. Japan is being judged through a certain lens, treating the actions of people as if they were raised in the same culture - and interpreting the actions as if they carry the exact same meanings as they would for someone from the judging culture. That is where the issues arise.