visit Japan with family

[lskong]

hi,

i'm planning to visit Japan sometime in the coming months with my family - me, wife, 3 kids - 11, 8 & a disabled 4, and my mom and her-mom. obviously there are various interests except the youngest two who may be quite clueless. this will be our 1st time to Japan. and we are planning to spend 5-7days on the ground. Things on the list include:
Tokyo, Kyoto, Mt. Fuji, Desneyland, shopping, country, castles, temples, food, a short hike, Geisha, old streets, bath, etc. etc.
yes, we probably won't be able to see everything on the list.
questions:
- any recommended itinerary?
- any must-see in Tokyo, Osaka or Kyoto?
- any highly recommended activities for kids beside Disneyland?
- any good-value (i.e. budget) suggestion for accommodation in Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto?
- any time-saving yet cheaper way to travel between Tokyo - Osaka/Kyoto?
- any completely different itinerary to recommend?

Thanks in advance to all.

btw, i don't speak japanese beyond the most basic greetings & thank you. but i'm sure we can get by.