導楽の「Still In Love」を英訳しようとしましたが・・・

[yuriyuri]

So, over the past 2 days in my little amount of free time I decided that I would try to understand and translate my first full song.

Little did I know that this would be quite a difficult song for me to translate.
Mainly because of my lack of experience in translating things, on top of my lack of experience in understanding song lyrics.

Anyway, I have tried my very best, and chryuop and masaegu helped me to understand a little bit of it in the Japanese help thread.

However, my translation is still full of mistakes and mis-understandings and there is one part at the end which I had no idea how to translate.

I was going to post this in the Japanese help thread but I felt that the post would be so long I may as well just start a new thread, so here it is; My god awful translation of "Still In Love" by 導楽.

I talk through the places that I don't understand at the bottom of the post.

Also I understand that this is a big request so I am not expecting any help form anyone but to anyone who takes the time to read this post and help me out I thank you.

YouTube - 【PV】導楽　/　STILL　IN　LOVE

会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからもこの先もまだずっと続くと思っていたけれど
会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからは俺が守るよ　誓ったはずだったけど

I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I still thought it would go on forever
I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I had sworn to protect you

今思い返すページひとめくりたちまち君の姿が駆け巡り
気が付けばいつも俺のそばに巡り会えたのは君一人
くだらない事で喧嘩したり俺のわがままにも付き合って くれたり
でも遊びに行くのはいつも友達って傷つけちまう事もあ ったし

Now I turn a page of my memories and you suddendly run around my mind
When I notice, you are always the only to happen across me
We quarreled over trivial things and you compromised with my selfishness
But going to hang out, friends always hurt me

今まで君に言われた数々の事も親父の小言より効く一言
まるでボディーブローのように後から効くよ　今更だけ ど
でもほんとやっと気づいたんだ　俺の為にした事だった んだ　全て
俺にとって君は掛け替えのない存在になってたから

The things you have said to me up until now, a single word which is more effective than the fault-finding of my father
After all this time comes into effect afterwards, just like a body blow
But I really realised all of the things you did for me
Because to me you had become irreplaceable

会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからもこの先もまだずっと続くと思っていたけれど
会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからは俺が守るよ　誓ったはずだったけど

I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I still thought it would go on forever
I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I had sworn to protect you

そうさそばを離れてやっと気づいた
遅すぎるあっけない幕切れの後じゃ
隣にいたあの頃やけに遠くに感じていた
出会い別れ繰り返すよ　マイライフその度に何か感じり ゃ絶対
どんな難解だって乗り越えられるはずさ　互いの未来

You left my side and I finally realised
I was too slow, after the short end
The days when you were next to me seemed desperatly far away
I repeatedly meet and part ways, and every time that happens, if I can feel something it's definintely my life
No matter how difficult it is to understand we should be able to surmount each others future

会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからもこの先もまだずっと続くと思っていたけれど
会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからは俺が守るよ　誓ったはずだったけど

I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I still thought it would go on forever
I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I had sworn to protect you

ただ何となく過ごしてきた日々も
気付かされる深い愛の意味を
前以上君の事で溢れているよ　今でも
ただ何となく想い寄せる気持ちも
今更また膨らんできたよ
前以上君の事が今でもまだ好きだから

But somehow the days that I pass by
even now are overflowing the deep meaning of love I am reminded of, with you more than before
But somehow the feeling that I will give my heart to you
after all this time expanded again
Because even now I love you more than before

会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
でもやめとくよ　君に頼る事　これからは自分でやるよ
きっともっと強くなるよ
会いたくてももう会わないよ
自分のため　君のため　全ていつの日にか
友達になれる　その日まで互いの道を進んでいくだけ

I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
But I'm going to stop relying on you and do things by myself from now on
I will definately become stronger
And even though I want to meet you, I won't anymore
For my own good and for you your own good, (全ていつの日にか)?
We will be able to become friends, and until that day we will just advance along each others paths

So, above I have highlighted in red the parts which I wasn't sure about or just out right guessed.

I will try to explain my problems now:

1.
くだらない事で喧嘩したり俺のわがままにも付き合って くれたり
でも遊びに行くのはいつも友達って傷つけちまう事もあ ったし

So I basically guess on this whole part.
chryuop and masaegu helped me to understand the two lines before it but now my main question is about のわがままにも付き合ってくれたり and the whole of でも遊びに行くのはいつも友達って傷つけちまう事もあ ったし
My translation was as good as I could guess so I'm not really sure how to understand the meaning of these pieces.

2.
今まで君に言われた数々の事も親父の小言より効く一言
まるでボディーブローのように後から効くよ　今更だけ ど

I think maybe I half understood the meaning of these two lines but on the first line 一言 threw me off, and on the second line ボディーブローのように後から効く was also difficult for me to grasp the exact meaning of.

3.
遅すぎるあっけない幕切れの後じゃ

In this line, I understand 遅すぎる, that's easy, but it is the あっけない幕切れの後じゃ part which confused me.
I just wasn't sure how to translate あっけない幕切れ.

4.
出会い別れ繰り返すよ　マイライフその度に何か感じり ゃ絶対

In this line I mainly wasn't sure how to translate マイライフその度に何か感じりゃ絶対
And although I was quite sure I couldn't remember if 感じりゃ was basically just 感じれば

5.
互いの未来

I wasn't sure if "each others future was an accurate translation"

6.
ただ何となく過ごしてきた日々も
気付かされる深い愛の意味を
前以上君の事で溢れているよ　今でも

The part that confused me about these three lines was how 溢れている works with the particle を
I thought this was an intransitive verb, so I wondered what the function of を was in these lines.

7.
ただ何となく想い寄せる気持ちも

For this line I mainly just wanted to check my understanding of 想い寄せる
From the looking around I did I found that it could mean "To give ones heart to" or "To fall in love"
I wanted to know if my translation of "But somehow the feeling that I will give my heart to you" was anywhere near to the actual meaning.

8.
自分のため　君のため　全ていつの日にか

In this line the 全ていつの日にか is really confusing me.
I thought that either something is being omitted that I haven't gotten used to guessing yet, or it connects with the next line from 友達になれる in a way that I can't see yet.

9.
互いの道を進んでいくだけ

And lastly another line containing the word 互い
I wondered if my translation of "just advance along each others paths" was an acceptable translation or not.

As I said at the top of the post, I understand that this is a big request so I am not expecting any help, but if anybody is willing to point out my mistakes and mis-understanding and help me to understand the actual meaning of the places where I have messed up, it would be greatly appreciated!

[masaegu]

Originally Posted by yuriyuri

会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからもこの先もまだずっと続くと思っていたけれど
会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
思い出すよ　今でも君の笑顔
これからは俺が守るよ　誓ったはずだったけど

I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I still thought it would go on forever
I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
Even now I remember your smiling face
I had sworn to protect you

It may just be my English but do the first and 4th lines of your translation above make sense to yourself? If yes, please disregard this. The original line means (or at least implies) "The harder it is to see you, the more badly I want to see you."

Regarding:
"これからは俺が守るよ　誓ったはずだったけどI had sworn to protect you"
The nuance here is that the guy failed to follow through on it.

でも遊びに行くのはいつも友達って傷つけちまう事もあ ったし
But going to hang out, friends always hurt me

Can't say you got the sentence structure or you were able to read between the words here. Not saying the latter is easy, though.

"But I did things like hurting you by always going out with my guy friends"

I will be back unless someone takes care of the rest before I can.

[yuriyuri]

Thank you for your reply masaegu

Originally Posted by masaegu

It may just be my English but do the first and 4th lines of your translation above make sense to yourself? If yes, please disregard this. The original line means (or at least implies) "The harder it is to see you, the more badly I want to see you."

The English makes sense to me, but that may just be because it was me who wrote it
It's quite awkward English at best but I wasn't sure how to translate this kind of sentence (Along with a lot of the other sentences in this song)

Now you have shown me your translation I can see that the meaning is basically the same as the ～ば～ほど structure (Or so it seems)

I should have known how to translate this really.
But I guess that's what happens when you stop studying for 6 months.

Originally Posted by masaegu

Regarding:
"これからは俺が守るよ　誓ったはずだったけどI had sworn to protect you"
The nuance here is that the guy failed to follow through on it.

Ah I see.
I wondered what the actual meaning of this was.
Thank you for telling me about this nuance; it would have taken me a long time to find out by myself.

Originally Posted by masaegu

Can't say you got the sentence structure or you were able to read between the words here. Not saying the latter is easy, though.

"But I did things like hurting you by always going out with my guy friends"

I think my problem here was that I wasn't sure who was hurting who, which lead to my guessing and bad translation.

Despite the fact that I have made a lot of mistakes, I have, and still am learning a lot from just trying to understand this one song.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you help you have given me
Thank you.

[masaegu]

Originally Posted by yuriyuri

今まで君に言われた数々の事も親父の小言より効く一言
まるでボディーブローのように後から効くよ　今更だけ ど
でもほんとやっと気づいたんだ　俺の為にした事だった んだ　全て
俺にとって君は掛け替えのない存在になってたから

The things you have said to me up until now, a single word which is more effective than the fault-finding of my father
After all this time comes into effect afterwards, just like a body blow
But I really realised all of the things you did for me
Because to me you had become irreplaceable

Very nice.

そうさそばを離れてやっと気づいた
遅すぎるあっけない幕切れの後じゃ
隣にいたあの頃やけに遠くに感じていた
出会い別れ繰り返すよ　マイライフその度に何か感じり ゃ絶対
どんな難解だって乗り越えられるはずさ　互いの未来

You left my side and I finally realised
I was too slow, after the short end
The days when you were next to me seemed desperatly far away
I repeatedly meet and part ways, and every time that happens, if I can feel something it's definintely my life
No matter how difficult it is to understand we should be able to surmount each others future

絶対 modifies　乗り越えられる in the next line. You translated it as if it modified 感じりゃ. This is something one needs to be careful about in reading poetry, including song lyrics. Do not trust each line as being completely independent.

You don't surmount each other's future, do you? Pretend there is a period right after はずさ. What you surmount is 難解. Make sense?

Treat 互いの未来 as an independent phrase the writer put there to make it rhyme with 絶対. みらい and ぜったい.

Must take a break again. My eyes are kinda tired today.

[yuriyuri]

Originally Posted by masaegu

Very nice.

Wow, I wasn't expecting that

Originally Posted by masaegu

絶対 modifies　乗り越えられる in the next line. You translated it as if it modified 感じりゃ. This is something one needs to be careful about in reading poetry, including song lyrics. Do not trust each line as being completely independent.

You don't surmount each other's future, do you? Pretend there is a period right after はずさ. What you surmount is 難解. Make sense?

Treat 互いの未来 as an independent phrase the writer put there to make it rhyme with 絶対. みらい and ぜったい.

This is making perfect sense now.
I keep on falling into the trap of treating each line as a separate sentence.
It's probably because I'm used to just playing video games or watching films which, from my experience are usually much easier for me to understand.

Well, practise makes perfect.
Although perhaps I will try to find an easier song to practise with next time!

Originally Posted by masaegu

Must take a break again. My eyes are kinda tired today.

Once again thank you masaegu.
Honestly I didn't even expect anyone to help me out with such a large post, so I'm making sure I note down everything you say.

Thank you!

[masaegu]

Originally Posted by yuriyuri

ただ何となく過ごしてきた日々も
気付かされる深い愛の意味を
前以上君の事で溢れているよ　今でも
ただ何となく想い寄せる気持ちも
今更また膨らんできたよ
前以上君の事が今でもまだ好きだから

But somehow the days that I pass by
even now are overflowing the deep meaning of love I am reminded of, with you more than before
But somehow the feeling that I will give my heart to you
after all this time expanded again
Because even now I love you more than before

This is a horrible stanza. DO NOT try to learn Japanese from it or you will end up talking like a rapper. It's terrible because it sort of gives up on grammar for the sake of rhymes with all those お-syllables.

Treat the second line almost as an independent filler with the irrelevent を for the rhyme. The first line directly connects to the third in what is considered "normal Japanese".

ただ here does not mean "but" but it means "only" or "simply".
ただ何となく過ごしてきた日々 = "the days that I've only idly been living"
ただ何となく想い寄せる気持ち = "the simply purposeless feelings (of love ) for you"

会えない時ほど会いたくなるよ
でもやめとくよ　君に頼る事　これからは自分でやるよ
きっともっと強くなるよ
会いたくてももう会わないよ
自分のため　君のため　全ていつの日にか
友達になれる　その日まで互いの道を進んでいくだけ

I want to meet you as much as the times when I can't meet you
But I'm going to stop relying on you and do things by myself from now on
I will definately become stronger
And even though I want to meet you, I won't anymore
For my own good and for you your own good, (全ていつの日にか)?
We will be able to become friends, and until that day we will just advance along each others paths

全ていつの日にか would imply "(praying) that everything will be alright one day"

互いの道を進んでいくだけ means "you'll go your way and I'll go mine"

[yuriyuri]

Originally Posted by masaegu

This is a horrible stanza. DO NOT try to learn Japanese from it or you will end up talking like a rapper. It's terrible because it sort of gives up on grammar for the sake of rhymes with all those お-syllables.

Treat the second line almost as an independent filler with the irrelevent を for the rhyme. The first line directly connects to the third in what is considered "normal Japanese".

ただ here does not mean "but" but it means "only" or "simply".
ただ何となく過ごしてきた日々 = "the days that I've only idly been living"
ただ何となく想い寄せる気持ち = "the simply purposeless feelings (of love ) for you"

Thank you for letting me know that the 2nd line is basically just a filler
I would have been sitting here for a while wondering how on earth を could be used with that verb!

And the main things I learn from songs are just vocabulary, so luckily I don't need to worry about talking like a rapper

Originally Posted by masaegu

全ていつの日にか would imply "(praying) that everything will be alright one day"

互いの道を進んでいくだけ means "you'll go your way and I'll go mine"

I knew something would be implied by 全ていつの日にか but I just couldn't figure out what, so thank you for explaining that to me.

And it looks like I need to get better at translating 互い

Well, trying to translate this song was a great exercise and challenge for me, but I think it will be a while until I try to do it with another song (Unless I deliberatly choose an easy one)
I think when translating things in the future I will have to remember to take into account more of what it is I am trying to translate.
For example even though this is a song, I didn't even consider the fact that things would be broken onto separate lines, or even that they may just be using words or grammar purely for the purpose of making it rhyme.

Thank you for taking the time to correct me and explain everything to me masaegu.
I appreciate it very much.

Thank you