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05-27-2008, 06:12 AM
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She gets by because she gets it. It's a little like that day during your Japanese studies that you stop translating in your head and you hear the words in your brain. When you start dreaming in Japanese. Some can do it, some can't. Japan isn't for everybody, and is designed for nobody not Japanese. Either you can nail yourself in, or you can't. Doesn't matter how old you are. A good buddy of mine moved to Japan when he was in his late 40s. He did construction to rebuild Kobe after the earthquake in '95. He's still there. I know some of the most outgoing people that could make friends with stop sign who quit their JET contracts after arriving in July before Christmas. Japan wasn't for them. I am not going to discount your experiences, as we can all tell "I know a" stories, but Japan doesn't "wear down" on all foreigners who choose to live there. 
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05-27-2008, 06:16 AM
Generally, young people are more prone to change and allowing new ideas to permeate their psychology. There are always exceptions to the rule, such as your examples. The ones who "get it" and can nail themselves in are the minority. By far, most folks can only live there for so long without at least going home for long breaks.
Also, most people are there because they enjoy it. but we all knew people who couldn't come back. Certain prime years slip by, a few years puts one behind the times in their own countries and they feel like it's almost impossible to leave. we've all met them.
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05-27-2008, 08:15 AM
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But there are thousands if not tens of thousands of non-Japanese who do this every day and have been doing it for years...if not decades. Not all people who move to Japan get weird. Living in Japan changes you...there is no doubt. If you spend a little time on these forums you will see that there are a lot of people that have never been there that dream of going. People like Nyororin and I, (and several others), try to point their ideas toward reality. But also try to not crush dreams.
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05-27-2008, 08:26 AM
Understood. I agree with you and I very much enjoy encouraging the youngsters. But I also prefer to be realistic and tend to (for better or worse) present the good bad and ugly. Warn of pitfalls. Like you, i've seen people go to japan as a way of running away from themselves and completely break down in a week. Look forward to more of your insight.
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05-27-2008, 09:28 AM
I disagree that my age had anything to do with my ability to "adapt", as I never suffered from any real adjustment period. Nor do I feel I have changed all that much as a person from around 15 to now. Yes, I`ve accumulated experience, but my fundamental views and beliefs have changed very little. I`m just far more mature and able to express them more clearly. Coming to Japan didn`t change me much as a person.
The largest advantage my age gave me was the ability to pick the language up more quickly than I would have been able to later. Yes, I know of plenty of people who were completely unable to deal with life in Japan... But as MMM mentioned, they were usually unable to deal with in the beginning - not after years of being here. They all had strange expectations to begin with, and it wasn`t so much that they couldn`t handle life in Japan... It was that they were shocked that things weren`t as they had expected, and that life wasn`t suddenly a world of happiness just because they were away from some past problem. They feel betrayed, and that feeling turns to bitterness that clouds their view of anything in Japan. And you ended up sounding like that type by coming in and saying people who are in Japan long term sort of break. I apologize for mistaking you for the type that goes around trolling boards, looking for opportunities to bash Japan.
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05-27-2008, 09:36 AM
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蒼天（そうてん）翔（か）ける日輪（にちりん）の 青春の覇気 美（うるわ）しく 輝く我が名ぞ 阪神タイガース ※オウ オウ オウオウ 阪神タイガース フレ フレ フレフレ
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05-27-2008, 10:00 AM
Easy on the emotional reactionism. I lived there over three years, visit regularly and my daughter has dual citizenship. I have no reason to bash Japan. I never mentioned anything negative about Japan. Most of these posts are mellow even if we don't agree because it's about an exchange of ideas.
I'm sorry you haven't observed the same things I have, but your personal example doesn't quantify an observation of a set or population. You may be the exception to the rule, you may be correct, but please relax. And can someone really say they haven't changed since they were 17 after ten years? Anthropologists and doctors would be astounded. Buddhist priests would be amazed, a living entity that never changes.
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05-27-2008, 10:32 AM
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I didn`t say that I never changed. I said that the fundamental beliefs and feelings that I had at around 15 or so have not significantly changed. The same drive is still there. Experience has shaped the way I go about following and expressing them, but that doesn`t mean that the central bits have changed. You can keep the same goals and beliefs over time. I never meant to say that my personal example was something that could be applied to anyone other than myself. You said that I had things easier having been younger when I came to Japan, and I answered about myself. Note that "me" is italicized. Coming to Japan didn`t change me all that much as a person - that is something I believe is true. Whether that is true for anyone else, well, that`s not what I was talking about. As for assuming you were someone coming in to bash - there are a LOT of people who do such things. The first post of yours I read was saying that living in Japan wasn`t a good idea, and that people who lived here for a long time went a bit strange. Whether it was your intent or not, you sounded quite a lot like how a fair number of them start. I meant the apology for mistaking you for one of them - it wasn`t sarcasm. In the past, I offered a spare room in my home to people coming to Japan through similar paths as the one I took when I first came. I`ve been screwed over a number of times but have seen a few successes. That is what I was talking about in the paragraph about people who have misplaced expectations. It wasn`t a reaction to you or anything you said. If anything, I was just giving my experiences. ETA: A quick look back, and I noticed that my bit about living in Japan not changing me all that much was in response to MMM`s comment "Living in Japan changes you...there is no doubt. " and not to you at all. I was just stating that I didn`t find a move to Japan to be a particularly life changing experience.
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05-27-2008, 11:45 AM
I think what Paul11 meant by it being easier for a younger person is that, if for example you have a family move to a different country with a different culture to their own; you will generally see that the parents have a much harder time adapting than the children would. At least that was the case with me whenever I moved countries... I'm from Algeria; when me and my family moved to England, it was so hard for my parents to get used to the culture and different life style. Another factor is that it's much easier to make friends when you are younger because you are given more oportunities. On the other hand, for me and my brothers it was extremely easy. It was an adventure and I knew that I could do whatever I wanted to do, wheras my parents had a certain path (eg career) to take and changing it at their age would have been almost suicide.
So basically, it is generally easier for younger people to adapt because they havn't had a certain way of life engraved in them. Younger people are still growing and searching for themselves until their early 30's at least...
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