Japanese-teen angst

[cridgit001]

That would take some getting used to, but I find it odd how no one addressed the,

Originally Posted by burkhartdesu

.. but I myself had girls grab my butt in a Japanese school, which was flattering but somehow creepy.

, is this also considered a "cultural norm" because if it is, gives me chills.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by cridgit001

That would take some getting used to, but I find it odd how no one addressed the, , is this also considered a "cultural norm" because if it is, gives me chills.

It is. Girls also often grab other girls` breasts, poke guys in the crotch, etc. Guys also do the same to each other.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

It is. Girls also often grab other girls` breasts, poke guys in the crotch, etc. Guys also do the same to each other.

I have had my package poked more than once by Japanese guys.

In American thinking that must mean you are gay, but that is from the cultural glasses we look through. There is nothing gay about it. I know it is hard to believe for some, but culturally, Japanese people seem much more comfortable in their own skin and with their sexuality than most Americans.

I have gone out drinking with Japanese guys, and they are much more physically affectionate (to show friendship) than any of my friends in the US.

Why is this true when most children do not hug their parents or siblings? Maybe that is why...I am not qualified to say that is related or not...food for thought.

[kirakira]

Originally Posted by MMM

In American thinking that must mean you are gay, but that is from the cultural glasses we look through. There is nothing gay about it. I know it is hard to believe for some, but culturally, Japanese people seem much more comfortable in their own skin and with their sexuality than most Americans.

Americans and other former English colonies (Canada/Australia/New Zealand) are the odd one out really. In Europe, sexuality isn't taken nearly as seriously neither.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by kirakira

Americans and other former English colonies (Canada/Australia/New Zealand) are the odd one out really. In Europe, sexuality isn't taken nearly as seriously neither.

I am sure you are right about that. My Japanese friends often put their arms over my shoulder, hand on my leg, walk arm in arm (after a few drinks), which would be basically unheard of the US in public.

[kirakira]

Originally Posted by MMM

I am sure you are right about that. My Japanese friends often put their arms over my shoulder, hand on my leg, walk arm in arm (after a few drinks), which would be basically unheard of the US in public.

I think it has got to do with "think of the children" and political correctness.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by kirakira

I think it has got to do with "think of the children" and political correctness.

I am not sure about that. I think it is just comfort with physical contact. I find Americans can be contradictory about that...and Japanese can be to, depending on the situation.

[Nyororin]

Back when we were dating, my husband shaved and then penciled his eyebrows. He rarely bothers these days as it takes time and is a pain...
But anyway, it is perfectly normal here. They sell little men`s grooming kits everywhere, and even makeup stuff for men.
Every single person I spoke to in the US said he HAD to be gay because of it... And added to the fact that he loved to go to a public bath during the summer (there was a really nice one near where we lived... It was great to walk to it in the summer night.) and get naked with other men in the room - it was set in stone.

I really do not think that it is true at all that children do not get that much affection from parents and siblings. Most kids sleep, bathe, and do everything with their family members. There is no need to go out of the way to express physical affection as chances are you are stuck to a family member most of your childhood. Mothers and daughters, fathers and sons seem to be very affectionate to each other, at least in my eyes. The school behavior is learned at home with parents and siblings - but with family it`s embarrassing to do so in public.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I really do not think that it is true at all that children do not get that much affection from parents and siblings. Most kids sleep, bathe, and do everything with their family members. There is no need to go out of the way to express physical affection as chances are you are stuck to a family member most of your childhood. Mothers and daughters, fathers and sons seem to be very affectionate to each other, at least in my eyes. The school behavior is learned at home with parents and siblings - but with family it`s embarrassing to do so in public.

I think Japanese children get a lot of physical affection from parents, but something seems to happen at some point where that seems not OK. The Japanese adults I know have almost no physical contact with their parents or siblings...even if they are comfortable being naked in front of them. On the other hand, I can be physical with my (American) family, but the thought of being naked in front of them is vomit-inducing.

[VampireGirl1314]

Any girl would do that, because me and my friends would all hold hands or play with each others hair.

I dont live in Japan, but thats just the girls act, but why didnt you notice that at your old school?