How do you make friends?

[GTJ]

Let me preface this by saying that in America, it's completely normal to just randomly start talking with someone on the street, in a store, sitting in a restaurant, etc. And then become friends.

However, the Japanese are much more shy, and I think wary of foreigners, making this almost impossible. The exception is bars, where I've been approached and had lots of fun with random nihonjin. I think the social lubricant that is boozeahol has a lot to do with that.

So, all you four or five folk who also live in Japan: how do you make friends with the locals?

The walls of my apartment are starting to close in on me...

[samurai007]

I often had people just eager to talk with me because I was the first (or one of the 1st) foreigners they'd ever met. Many wanted to just practice their English, such as the restaurant delivery man, the night clerk at the Lawson's, and the accountant at one of my schools. They approached me or talked to me, and I ended up talking with them and we became friends.

Then there was the local Interpreter and Guide Club. I taught them English, and in return they taught me Japanese and showed me around as practice for "real foreigners". We had pot luck parties, etc, and they became some of my best friends.

Finally, there were co-workers (Japanese English Teachers) who I became friends with, initially through work.

I didn't go to bars because I don't drink alcohol, but I still made lots of friends. Just be friendly, outgoing, and seize every opportunity that presents itself!

[Nyororin]

My suggestion; Take a free class.

Your local something or other office should offer a number of free classes for this and that. They should be listed in the monthly local paper (you should get this free in your mailbox every month) or on the webpage for your area. Find a class that looks kind of cool, and go to it.
There are usually sports, arts, crafts, computer related, language, etc classes open to anyone for free or material costs. Even my little small town has like 30 of them.
You can also often find such-and-such clubs listed in the same places. Usually a gathering once every 2 weeks of like minded individuals. There were tons of these when we lived in Nagoya, but only a handful around here so I`d guess it varies a lot by location.

I don`t think making friends in Japan is all that different from making friends in the US - it just comes down to making an opportunity and reason for talking with someone.

[Sangetsu]

Meeting people in Japan is not hard, and neither is making friends. I enjoy photography quite a lot, and it is a popular hobby here in Japan. If I see someone who is obviously a serious photographer, I often greet him/her, and see if I can strike up a conversation. These conversations often lead to drinks or a meal together, and as often as not, a friendship.

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

My suggestion; Take a free class.

Your local something or other office should offer a number of free classes for this and that. They should be listed in the monthly local paper (you should get this free in your mailbox every month) or on the webpage for your area. Find a class that looks kind of cool, and go to it.
There are usually sports, arts, crafts, computer related, language, etc classes open to anyone for free or material costs. Even my little small town has like 30 of them.
You can also often find such-and-such clubs listed in the same places. Usually a gathering once every 2 weeks of like minded individuals. There were tons of these when we lived in Nagoya, but only a handful around here so I`d guess it varies a lot by location.

I don`t think making friends in Japan is all that different from making friends in the US - it just comes down to making an opportunity and reason for talking with someone.

I met tons of people (all nationalities) in classes. If you really want to meet women join a dance class like Salsa. Not enough men join these classes. Since you are in Osaka search Kansai Scene ads for Kigouya (?), a camping and other trips club that has many nice people.

[spicytuna]

If you happen to be single, fluent in Japanese and have some single Japanese friends, ask them to invite you along to a goukon party (otherwise called a kompa).

Mind you, the main purpose of a goukon is to set you up with a date but what the heck, it's a lot of fun and not as serious as a konkatsu.

I met lots of friends that way. I also picked up a stalker or two but that's a different story altogether.

[ozkai]

Originally Posted by GTJ

However, the Japanese are much more shy, and I think wary of foreigners, making this almost impossible.

So, all you four or five folk who also live in Japan: how do you make friends with the locals?

The walls of my apartment are starting to close in on me...

You sound like a scared soul in your small apartment!

It all depends on you.. Talk, and I'm sure somebidy will talk back.

I never had a problem.. Try the 60 year olds. They are usually willing to have a good yarn and teach you a thing or two about Western culture, some may even drag you in for a one nighter

[trunker]

its quite tricky here isnt it?

but you basically need to make the first move and initiate, and then put in the effort to nurture the friendship. its a pain in the ass.

but if you connect over something both of you like, like a hobby or passion then things are a tad easier. i've got my music thing, so i strike up conversations with anyone carrying around a musical instrument, or street performers, or i'll just wander into a studio or music shop.

it takes a while, but slowly warm up to you. a couple of singers by the eki now wave me over for a chat when i see them, and the family mart dude now knows my prefered brand of tabaco so whoohooo.

its early days yet, and i havent really connected with anyone yet, but i think its worth the effort, and sure as hell beats bumming around at home chatting with internet buddies.

[trunker]

lol nevermind the 60 yr olds,.... the 80-death ones are the most chatty i find.

sit on a bench in a park near a supermarket and one is bound to sit down next to you and never stop talking.

they buy you a genki energy drink before they leave sometimes.

[Rogozhin]

LOL @ the "80-death"

I used to take a few lessons in random sports at my local sports centre....it was a good way to mingle. I tend to ask questions (something like "I'm new here, what usually happens in the sessions?") without expecting anything more than a simple reply and sometimes this leads onto a good conversation.