Just got here...

[Geoffharsh]

Hi all,

I'm new to Japan, got sent here by my employer now working as a personnel training and curriculum manager (but my eye's on the QA spot) for an ordnance-related facility, looking for advice on what's good and what's not. I live in Yokohama now, I think the southern bit. Don't know jack about the language or culture other than what I picked up in the four months' heads up I got before I came, and my fellow foreign co-workers all either hate the heck out of this place or are more into cartoons than I think is healthy for an adult. Are there any, no offense intended, normal people living in Japan? What brought you here? I've poked about the forums a bit and it seems my position is rather unique to other posters; so since I'm already here I figure I'd rather learn a bit about it since I'm rather stuck for the next 2-3 years...

Your attention is much appreciated.

-Geoff

[MMM]

Start learning the language as much as possible. The difference between the people who really enjoy their lived in Japan, and those that feel "stuck" there are those that speak the language.

[Sangetsu]

Yokohama is an interesting place, not far from where I'm at. You should find plenty of things of interest to see or do.

It's true that Japan is a love-hate place for many foreigners who live and work here, though the people who hate living here are the kind that would typically be unhappy anywhere.

Many foreigners who come to live in Japan seem socially dysfunctional to a certain degree, and I often think that is one of the reasons they ended up in Japan. As a result, and as you have found, it's often hard to meet "normal" people.

You should take a Japanese language class at least once a week, and try to get a local girlfriend. Either of these things will widen your social network, and allow you to meet more people. Be careful with the girls, many foreigners have love-hate relationships with them as well.

If you are looking for things to see or do around Tokyo, PM me and I'll be happy to help.

[MMM]

Sangetsu is very right. Many of the foreigners I knew only hung out with other foreigners, and therefore had a very limited social circle. Japan bashing became their form of personal entertainment and self-therapy. Once that started (after about 6 months) I stopped hanging out with them. It was too depressing.

I was lucky enough to find a pack of locals at a local watering hole who took me under their collective wing, so to speak. I still visit that bar when I am in Japan, even though I haven't lived there is over 10 years. Many of the same guys still hang out there, or at least keep in touch and stop by (like me) when back in town.

Finding Japanese friends was the key to my sanity and enjoyment during my stay in Japan. At first it will probably be people wanting to speak English, and that's OK, as you don't have the Japanese down yet, but finding friends who don't want to speak English with you will be a next big step.

[Nyororin]

A bit late to reply - and not sure if the original poster is still around... But there are indeed normal people living here. We just don`t usually go out of the way to hang around with other foreigners - at least in my experience.
I came to Japan, ultimately, because I took a short term language class and thought it was easy. Being poor, and the local university being one of the few at the time to offer a Japanese language major AND allow testing out of all the language related classes... I sort of came up with a plan to cut university costs by staying in Japan for some time and then testing out of as much as I could.
The reasons I ended up staying are a bit more complex - the language did end up being easy for me, but a lot of it was the freedom from a completely dysfunctional family situation and eventually falling in love and marrying someone Japanese. I`m here for the long haul, and haven`t been out of Japan for the past 4 years, and only a handful of times in the past 10.

I agree the huge difference is whether you learn the language or not. Language is the key to culture, and culture is the difference between actually living here and being "visiting" or "trapped".