I'm in Japan and was tricked. Please help

[alanX]

Originally Posted by JayT

It seems like she left it at the table because she would have to come back for it, therefore making the OP feel like she really is just stepping outside. Because as stated, she wouldn't just leave something high value like that around.

I think it was a very smooth move, so smooth that I'm quite positive this isn't the first time she pulled this trick.

Gotcha, but why would she bring a laptop box, empty or not to a restaurant in the first place?

"Oh, this? It's just mah purse."

[JayT]

Originally Posted by alanX

Gotcha, but why would she bring a laptop box, empty or not to a restaurant in the first place?

"Oh, this? It's just mah purse."

LOL, maybe she was going to help him find the job with wifi

[wisher2924]

Hey, thanks for the replies. Essentially, I want to get the police involved because I'm sure the restaurant will get them involved if I don't. The restaurant copied my national health insurance card which has my address on it. The bill is ridiculous...like $230 something in US dollars. The problem is that I can't pay it. I get a certain amount for food every month, and that's over half of it. Paying that would prevent me from eating most likely, even if I did only have cheap stuff from the 99 yen shop or something.

As for the post about how I met her, I am in Tokyo, but I met her from an online personals ad site. There's probably no way at all to track her. I mean I understand that no one will waste resources just because someone got conned out of a huge dinner bill, but I just want to see what the police say and let the restaurant know my situation. I'm not sure if there's anyway anyone would show sympathy, but I am in a bad spot. Also, I only waited about 30-45 minutes. It was late at night and when the restaurant was closing soon when she left.

I wasn't thrown off by the laptop box because she said she travels a lot for business, and she said she had just gotten back from Osaka so she would be late.

I hope I answered all the questions, but does anyone know anywhere in Tokyo that police would speak English, even on the weekends? I would like to go as soon as possible.

Thanks again

[MMM]

Originally Posted by wisher2924

Hey, thanks for the replies. Essentially, I want to get the police involved because I'm sure the restaurant will get them involved if I don't. The restaurant copied my national health insurance card which has my address on it. The bill is ridiculous...like $230 something in US dollars. The problem is that I can't pay it. I get a certain amount for food every month, and that's over half of it. Paying that would prevent me from eating most likely, even if I did only have cheap stuff from the 99 yen shop or something.

As for the post about how I met her, I am in Tokyo, but I met her from an online personals ad site. There's probably no way at all to track her. I mean I understand that no one will waste resources just because someone got conned out of a huge dinner bill, but I just want to see what the police say and let the restaurant know my situation. I'm not sure if there's anyway anyone would show sympathy, but I am in a bad spot. Also, I only waited about 30-45 minutes. It was late at night and when the restaurant was closing soon when she left.

I wasn't thrown off by the laptop box because she said she travels a lot for business, and she said she had just gotten back from Osaka so she would be late.

I hope I answered all the questions, but does anyone know anywhere in Tokyo that police would speak English, even on the weekends? I would like to go as soon as possible.

Thanks again

The fact that the restaurant let you leave with change means they aren't looking to file charges, or they would have just called the police that night.

I guess I am confused as to how you got into a situation where you were eating a meal that costs more than your monthly food budget and were sure she would pay for it. Is she an older woman? As far as I know, Japanese women still like to be taken out, etc...

[wisher2924]

Originally Posted by MMM

The fact that the restaurant let you leave with change means they aren't looking to file charges, or they would have just called the police that night.

I guess I am confused as to how you got into a situation where you were eating a meal that costs more than your monthly food budget and were sure she would pay for it. Is she an older woman? As far as I know, Japanese women still like to be taken out, etc...

Actually, the restaurant wants me to come back and pay it on the later this month because I told them that I only get money once a month and not again until a certain date. That's why they wanted to copy some kind of ID of mine. I'm not sure if that's even ok for them to ask to do that or not, but I was scared and had a bit to drink at that point; mostly scared of having no money and being stranded far from home. It's also intimidating when my Japanese is terrible.

Basically, how I got in that situation is that I met a lady online who said she was a successful business woman that only had time for work and didn't want to play any games, so she wanted to meet me once a week just for dinner and conversation. I agreed because free dinner is always nice, not to mention the chance to learn more about Japanese language and culture in addition to possible business practices. I thought I was being nice to a lonely, busy person as well. You're right though, age and national origin have nothing to do with whether or not a woman likes to be taken out. I guess I wasn't clear in my explanation of this specific situation before, and I apologize.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by wisher2924

Actually, the restaurant wants me to come back and pay it on the later this month because I told them that I only get money once a month and not again until a certain date. That's why they wanted to copy some kind of ID of mine. I'm not sure if that's even ok for them to ask to do that or not, but I was scared and had a bit to drink at that point; mostly scared of having no money and being stranded far from home. It's also intimidating when my Japanese is terrible.

Basically, how I got in that situation is that I met a lady online who said she was a successful business woman that only had time for work and didn't want to play any games, so she wanted to meet me once a week just for dinner and conversation. I agreed because free dinner is always nice, not to mention the chance to learn more about Japanese language and culture in addition to possible business practices. I thought I was being nice to a lonely, busy person as well. You're right though, age and national origin have nothing to do with whether or not a woman likes to be taken out. I guess I wasn't clear in my explanation of this specific situation before, and I apologize.

But did she say "I will pay for your dinner every time we meet"? Because if that wasn't explicit I would assume that she would assume you would pay for it.

[wisher2924]

Originally Posted by MMM

But did she say "I will pay for your dinner every time we meet"? Because if that wasn't explicit I would assume that she would assume you would pay for it.

Yeah she did actually. She knew I was a student and had virtually no money. This isn't a case of misunderstanding as her English was great. This is obviously a case of trickery to me because of what I've described, not to mention she quit responding to emails.

I'm also a bit disturbed that this seems like some kind of small hate crime in a sense because during our conversation she kept trying to imply that white people are overrated. She would say when she worked at a real estate company, white people would get preference over other foreigners, such as southeast Asians, even though the others had more money. She also compared me to someone her friend is dating and destroying her life over. I am finishing up two degrees, and she compares me to a drug dealer! The funny thing is that I'm not completely white; I'm a bit mixed. Growing up has taught me not to worry about race, so I really don't want to get into any argument about that. Good and bad people are everywhere, but this just kind of disturbs me.

[IamKira]

this is why you never trust anyone. thinking strategically, this could have been avoided.
since she offered to pay for the meal, it shouldn't have been an issue if you left first
moreover, instead of announcing you were leaving, you could have pulled the same deal as her "oh, i have to make a phone call and let my mother know how i'm doing.. it'll just take a few moments." and then leave.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by wisher2924

Yeah she did actually. She knew I was a student and had virtually no money. This isn't a case of misunderstanding as her English was great. This is obviously a case of trickery to me because of what I've described, not to mention she quit responding to emails.

I'm also a bit disturbed that this seems like some kind of small hate crime in a sense because during our conversation she kept trying to imply that white people are overrated. She would say when she worked at a real estate company, white people would get preference over other foreigners, such as southeast Asians, even though the others had more money. She also compared me to someone her friend is dating and destroying her life over. I am finishing up two degrees, and she compares me to a drug dealer! The funny thing is that I'm not completely white; I'm a bit mixed. Growing up has taught me not to worry about race, so I really don't want to get into any argument about that. Good and bad people are everywhere, but this just kind of disturbs me.

I think if she were saying things like that alarms might have been going off in my head. Either she was a scam artist, or was using you to get revenge on "white people".

Either way, I don't know if you are going to get a lot of sympathy from people, as you placed yourself in that situation, and what self-respecting man lets his blind date pay for his meal?

It sounds like you were able to communicate with the restaurant, so I would offer to pay 5000 yen a month until you can pay off the remainder of the bill.

[Tsuwabuki]

Originally Posted by MMM

Either way, I don't know if you are going to get a lot of sympathy from people, as you placed yourself in that situation, and what self-respecting man lets his blind date pay for his meal?

Woah, hold up, MMM. You and I often agree, but I am going to have to take a stand here. She asked for the date, she chose the restaurant, and she said she would pay. The rules are different now (yay feminism! <- not sarcasm), and now asker pays, regardless of gender/sex. She asked, she pays. Next time, if this were to develop into a regular thing and he set the date and chose the restaurant, he would pay. No self-respecting person wants to be taken for a ride by someone who doesn't put in their fair share.

But this is besides the point, because this sounds lot more like a business deal than a date. She wanted conversation and company, but she was also willing to help him network. I would be fully expecting, had I been the OP, for the other shoe to drop and find out, professionally, what she wanted from me. I would fully be suspecting it would be private English lessons. They usually are when I am approached in such a way.

I think OP should have asked more questions and presented a more professional "face," but I think calling him out for some misinterpretation of the chivalric code is ludicrous.

When I lived in Korea, I had a business relationship that started out very much like this. She took me places and paid for meals and drinks, and I helped her on high level English conversation (about history, philosophy, sociology, and even helped work on essays she was writing in English). In lieu of getting paid, which would have been illegal (private lessons are not legal in Korea, but they are in Japan), she always picked up the tab. We were not dating.