What I don't like about Japan, but won't make me leave

[Tsuwabuki]

As far as aircon, if you have never been to Texas in summer, it is well over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit. Sometimes it can get to hundred and ten. And that's before you add in humidity. In the west, there isn't any. In Houston there is as much as Japan, only at a much lower latitude. Without air conditioning, people die in Texas. Some people die even with air con, because they fail to hydrate properly and the aircon cannot keep up even if they have it. We lose Texans to heat strokes every year without fail. Usually elderly or children.

I fear the lack of air conditioning during summer. I've heard warnings all my life of how it can mean death.

[dirtyroboto]

Another thing that gets on my nerves is those damn obasan's (ojisan's are not so bad). They push in everywhere and have no respect for other people, they are the rudest people you can find in Japan.
Coming from England I have a whole load of mother-in-law jokes I can now tailor to those damn old prunes

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

On a side note, can I ask why the Americans make such a huge deal over air-conditioning? Here in the UK our climate/weather is pretty similar in tempreture to Japan (or so I've read). We use central heating in winter, but I've never known a single English person to use air-conditioning, not even in many places of work, and we all survive fine. I find it hard to believe living in Japan is so much more difficult without air-conditioning, or is it simply a matter of beng used to luxuries and then enduring shock when that luxury is taken away from you as you move abroad?

I think it depends on where you're from in the US. For example, I'm from Central Virginia. Our house faces the sun all day and our summers are hot and humid, similar to Japan's, so I've heard. Our highs can get up into the 90s (about 30 - 40 Celsius I think it would be) so without the air, it can get into the 25 - 30 (80s, I think this would be) range inside the house. Not using air conditioning in our house would be extremely uncomfortable and miserable, even with the windows open. Reminds me of that one year when our air conditioner broke down and the temps were getting into the mid 90s outside. It was so bad, we had to check into a hotel, especially for my grandmother's sake. Anyway, the only time we felt any kind of relief was at night, but it still felt stuffy because there wasn't a breeze.

Now, a person up north might not use the air conditioning much because it's cooler overall. Now places like Texas, Florida, or California, I couldn't imagine them living without air with the high temps they get, especially the parts of California that may suffer from wild fires because of the high temperatures.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

On a side note, can I ask why the Americans make such a huge deal over air-conditioning? Here in the UK our climate/weather is pretty similar in tempreture to Japan (or so I've read). We use central heating in winter, but I've never known a single English person to use air-conditioning, not even in many places of work, and we all survive fine. I find it hard to believe living in Japan is so much more difficult without air-conditioning, or is it simply a matter of beng used to luxuries and then enduring shock when that luxury is taken away from you as you move abroad?

Nyororin's pretty much cleared this up but I can definitely say that coming from England to Japan there is a huge difference. It's not just the higher heat, that's quite bearable; it's the humidity. I've been in 50C in the sahara. It was hot and gross, but I still felt like I could get on with things because it was dry. The humidity cranked up to over 90% when I was there and it is absolutely draining. Nothing dries. You sweat buckets the moment you make the slightest effort and at night you stick to your sheets. Outside there's not really any wind like you get in the UK. It's flat, dead air. Stifling. Trust me, Air Con suddenly is your best friend in those conditions. I would have been deeply unhappy without it, especially at night because the temperature doesn't drop off that much after dark. It's still over 20C and, yup, humid. And this goes on for ooo, a couple of months or more?

Now imagine trying to -work- in that kind of atmosphere and you'll get the idea why a lot of people think it's mad that Japanese high schools schools don't have AC.

On the flip-side we Brits aren't that good with temperatures either. We might not use AC at home, but most people have their central heating up too high most of the time.

[SSJup81]

Ah yes, speaking of humidity, at home, during the summers, we have two dehumidifiers in the house. One for upstairs and one for downstairs. We run them for the majority of the summer.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by noodle

I think all of you are generalising here! First of all, I'm going to assume that apologising in the US is the same as the UK, in which case, people don't always make excuses when they apologise! Secondly, I think it's a terrible idea to prefer just an apology ALL THE TIME instead of getting an explanation! The perpetrator can get away with so much if all it took was an apology to get someone off their back! With that said, sometimes, in certain situations, I do agree that an apology would be better than an explanation!

I am not interested in why the restaurant cannot keep my reservation. I don't want to hear they are overbooked or the manager is sick or the dessert delivery truck never arrived.

I just want to know that they feel bad about putting me out and not fulfilling their promise to me. I want to know they are taking responsibility for their mistake.

By making an excuse it sounds like they are shirking responsibility or that "we" are in the same boat.

That doesn't work for me.

Of course there are situations where I want to hear the "why", like if my doctor needs to amputate my arm or my lawyer didn't file my lawsuit in time, but when it is a matter of me having to simply wait an extra 10 minutes, I would prefer the honest apology over buck-passing excuses.

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by dirtyroboto

Another thing that gets on my nerves is those damn obasan's (ojisan's are not so bad). They push in everywhere and have no respect for other people, they are the rudest people you can find in Japan.
Coming from England I have a whole load of mother-in-law jokes I can now tailor to those damn old prunes

Did you ever notice at the supermarket how they can block the shelf where you are trying to get something and block the aisle all at he same time? I think there is a secret class that teaches Obasans this.

[Tsuwabuki]

Originally Posted by MMM

I am not interested in why the restaurant cannot keep my reservation. I don't want to hear they are overbooked or the manager is sick or the dessert delivery truck never arrived.

I just want to know that they feel bad about putting me out and not fulfilling their promise to me. I want to know they are taking responsibility for their mistake.

By making an excuse it sounds like they are shirking responsibility or that "we" are in the same boat.

That doesn't work for me.

Of course there are situations where I want to hear the "why", like if my doctor needs to amputate my arm or my lawyer didn't file my lawsuit in time, but when it is a matter of me having to simply wait an extra 10 minutes, I would prefer the honest apology over buck-passing excuses.

This is a good example of the "mends no fences" kind of apology that I actively despise, MMM. You say honest, but how does one determine an honest apology? As a customer, I don't care if the person seating me is or is not personally sorry. What does it matter? What I need to know is "why did this happen" and "is it likely to happen again?" If don't like the answers to those questions, I will no longer go to that restaurant. If I understand the answer to the first, and recognise that the people involved are doing their best, and that is not likely to be a repeat occurrence, then I will probably chalk it up to "stuff happens." I might expect some sort of compensation (free appetizer, extra course, etc), but that's purely business.

Why should someone be made to apologise for something beyond their control? A late delivery truck or a manager that got sick is hardly the fault of the person who happens to be working the front desk.

"Sorry," is just as capable of being used as a "get out of jail free" card as a reason for a mistake. I positively hate the way that "excuse" has garnered a negative reputation and is now connected to subterfuge or blame deflection. Not every reason offered seeks to blame someone else.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki

This is a good example of the "mends no fences" kind of apology that I actively despise, MMM. You say honest, but how does one determine an honest apology? As a customer, I don't care if the person seating me is or is not personally sorry. What does it matter? What I need to know is "why did this happen" and "is it likely to happen again?" If don't like the answers to those questions, I will no longer go to that restaurant. If I understand the answer to the first, and recognise that the people involved are doing their best, and that is not likely to be a repeat occurrence, then I will probably chalk it up to "stuff happens." I might expect some sort of compensation (free appetizer, extra course, etc), but that's purely business.

Why should someone be made to apologise for something beyond their control? A late delivery truck or a manager that got sick is hardly the fault of the person who happens to be working the front desk.

"Sorry," is just as capable of being used as a "get out of jail free" card as a reason for a mistake. I positively hate the way that "excuse" has garnered a negative reputation and is now connected to subterfuge or blame deflection. Not every reason offered seeks to blame someone else.

I am not looking for "sorry" as much as "we are taking responsibility for this.

You live in Japan, so you know each and every employee is a representative of that business. I am not saying that the exact employee that makes the apology is personally responsible for the reason I am being seated late. I am saying the business acknowledges the social contract we made is being broken by them, and they are going to do what they can to make it right.

What kind of answer are you looking for when you ask "Why am I being seated late?" What would be acceptable, and what would you reject? Isn't this harder for the employee to do than apologize?

I don't know what "mend no fences" apology means. If they apologize in what I consider a honest way, then I would go back again. I have been on this Earth long enough to know when someone means it and when someone doesn't.

A sorry is not an "excuse". If it is heartfelt then it is taking responsibility for an unfortunate situation. You don't get that so often in the US.

[Tsuwabuki]

"Sorry mends no fences" is an idiom that means that an apology, by itself, doesn't do any work. In the case of the idiom, saying you're sorry that the fence isn't fixed yet doesn't get the fence fixed. Telling me you are sorry for the delay doesn't get me seated faster, and it doesn't allow me to ascertain how likely it is to happen in the future.

This is, I suppose, the fundamental difference in viewpoints. I see just an apology (especially from one who is not directly to blame) as a way to be evasive about why the mistake was made. The Japanese view, and it seems your view, is that why the mistake was made is the equivocation. That seems to be the crux of the issue on receiving apologies. Giving apologies is another matter entirely.