Preparing for a Year Studying Abroad in Japan, any Advice?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by steven

Nyororin, you can get ETC card/credit cards-- like they work both ways *at least around here, I'm sure of that.

They`re just credit cards with the ETC chip built in. It`s a sort of bonus on top of the normal card. You still have to be applicable for the regular card to get one though, as the ETC chip just charges to the credit card.
The way you worded it, it sounded as if the ETC card was easier to get - it is only if you already have a credit card, as you have to have a credit card in order to have somewhere for the ETC system to charge to.

You can get all sorts of cards with things built in - like Suica, Waon, etc. But you have to be able to get the card in the first place. It`s no easier.

[Misericordias]

I visited my local HSBC bank today and since they said they no longer have student accounts, I guess I'll visit a Citibank tomorrow to acquire some more information. Thank you Nyororin for telling me about Citibank- I never would've even thought of that bank as a potential candidate.


And once again I return back to cell phones. Are Japanese cell phones compatible with skype? At this point, I really do not know much about how skype works, but their unlimited international plan (15 dollars a month) is extremely alluring, but are Japanese phones compatible with skype?

[GoNative]

I've only ever used Skype through my computer and never even thought about it using through my keitai. Is it necessary to use it through your phone and not just through a computer? I assume you'll have a computer here for your studies?

I am just about 40 so all this modern technology stuff gets a little confusing for me!

[steven]

I can't wait! I love skype on the computer. My dad says he can use it on his blackberry, which I guess you can use in Japan somehow. I don't know if that helps... he said something about a "sim" card? I don't really know (my 50 something year old dad knows more about that stuff than I do).

I think we're on the verge of seeing computers/cell phones colliding with the i-pad and things like that. The DSi is also a bit on that level (if only it could get internet anywhere like a cell phone can). Imagine just using a DS like thing as a video-phone. You could also keep a calendar in it, use it as a camera, digital book reader, watch movies (as they'll be data by then), and it has a touch pad, too. I think that's where we're heading. I doubt you'll be seeing that while you're in Japan, though. I'd give it another 5 years or so.

[Misericordias]

Hello, it's been a long time since I asked a question, but recent events that have transpired has given me new questions to ask!

My question is about assertiveness. How assertive must I be in Japan in order for things to get done in a timely fashion? For example, my school is lagging a bit in terms of granting me my certificate of eligibility so I can apply for a student visa and dormitory processes, so I have been sending e-mails on a weekly basis asking about the status of the CoE. However, the person does not respond in a timely fashion (if at all) which forces me to ask other people the exact same question. Am I being too forceful with my inquiries which is results in what I feel to be a cold shoulder or must I be even more forceful with my inquiries? Also in general, how assertive should I be with thing that I need to get done in Japan? Are people generally good with getting things done in a timely manner in Japan, or will I have to resort to nagging to get things done?

Also, how would I know if I am being too assertive with my requests? What are some of the body or hidden languages must I read into to see if I'm being too assertive?

Thank you in advance with answering my questions!

[steven]

Oh man... I don't know how to approach your question directly, but I can make a few comments on the subject.

Before I begin, I'd like to point out that you might benefit from books that are written on this stuff! This is a very deep subject and can be confusing for non-Japanese. I think it's a shame myself, but I've been studying Japanese for so long (even though I've only lived here a couple of years) that a lot of the Japanese approach has rubbed off on me making me forget the way Americans do things some times. That's not to say I'm some kind of pro at Japanese or anything like that.

I think Japan is just as assertive as America, they just have a different way of going about it. The words may be different (or non existant sometimes in the Japanese case), but the main message of what people want to say is still communicated. From an English speaking perspective, Japanese could be considered "ambiguous". People take care to use indirect language as to be polite. The more direct you are with your language in Japanese the ruder it seems (or at least more relaxed, but relaxed may not be appropriate when speaking to professors or people "above" you).

With the whole there are people "above" me thing in mind, you have to consider the fact that they are doing you a favor for even looking at whatever you sent them, so you have to show gratitude for that and ask in a way that is indirect (as in sentences containing verbs that aren't connected to the person above you). It sounds very stupid in English, but the idea is something like this: They aren't looking at something for you... but you are (humbly) receiving the act of them looking at something for you, even though they are undoubtedly extremely busy.

What kind of distance are you dealing with? Is there anyway you can meet them in person? I think this concept works in both America and Japan. If you could find out if they have time to talk to you, then that might be the best way. If you are entering some kind of office, then you have to treat it like it is their turf. So no matter what, you are burdening them with your prsence and have to verbally express that as well as apologize for taking up their time. You have to excuse yourself when you enter and leave the office as well.

I'm not sure nagging is good in English or in Japanese, but I think it's probably worse in Japanese. I'd say if an e-mail isn't responded to, then meeting in person is your best option.

I think being aggressive, forceful, or even really straight with your language is a bad idea. Another thing to consider is this: if it is something that you had to request to have done, how much time did you give them? If plenty of time isn't given for things (that you want your superiors to do) then it can sometimes be written off.

This last thing is not something I really want to say, but sometimes no reply/silence has a lot of meaning. It's their attempt to not be too straight with you on something. It can be a sign of rejection (in more scenarios than one!). It's weird because in a sense there are different kinds of silences... it seems stupid and it's hard to explain in words (maybe someone with more experience can do a better job about it). Considering this is an e-mail based conversation, though, it's impossible to guess what "kind" of silence this is, leaving the situation being all the more ambiguous.

Your last question is another interesting one: how do you know if you're being too assertive?/what signs should I look for?
I personally believe that in most situations you will have no way of knowing. That's the Japanese trying not to offend YOU. They try not to embarass you or themselves by pointing trivial stuff like that out, in my experience. Sometimes, if the situation is more casual, you might get a chuckle or a funny reaction. Japanese people aren't perfect at their own language and make these kinds of mistakes, too, from time to time, so you see this happen even with two Japanese people talking. Not unlike English, you have a different language for the office/formal situations and for friends/casual situations. So sometimes you slip up in one situation or another. Silence is actually one of the signs of something that's gone wrong in a conversation. Maybe the conversation will be cut short or the topic changed-- I'm not sure it's too different from English.

The point is, is Japanese people are usually very careful of other peoples' feelings if you look at it from an English speaking perspective (but it is what it is... the same meaning comes across even though they're just more indirect about it). Pointing mistakes out risks embarassing someone so it's not often done.

I've even heard (anecdotal) a story of a foreigner accidentally walking into a meeting with bathroom slippers... and all the Japanese men followed suit as to not lose face.

On the other side of the coin (personal experience) I've seen a foreigner say hi to an aquaintance for the first time in a while and she went from an awkward "let's hug" stance walking up to the Japanese girl to a "let's raise are hands and clasp them together" thing, to which the foreigne said something along these lines (but in Japanese): "eww, gross... sweat!". The Japanese girl said, "oh don't worry about it" (not being able to imagine that the foreigner wasn't talking about her own hands). The foreigner replied "no, I mean you!". Everyone in ear shot and visible range of that exchange burst in laughter out of complete embarassment for the foreigner. I think the Japanese girl was less offended than completely peplexed at what the foreigner had just said. I think that kind of exchange would obviously be seen as rude in English though... so in Japanese it was just so out of this world that nobody really knew how to handle it. It wasn't by any means a formal situation, but no one said anything directly to the foreigner, though we were all thinking the same thing, I'm sure!

So I guess the moral of the story is that there is more to language than just words. You have to know how to act in particular situations. Taking concepts from your own language (such as American directness or Japanese indirectness) into another language can have negative consequences. I've seen this work both ways. Japanese indirectness carried over into English, while it may seem polite, can often have bad outcomes for the Japanese.

I'm sorry I don't have too much specific help, but I hope this helped in some way or other. Most of this is from personal experience so none of it is wrong. That doesn't make it 100% right, either. If anyone has other experiences with this kind of thing I'd like to hear about it.

[Misericordias]

Thank you very much, Steven. You always have such insightful posts. In regards to Keigo, I don't know. Sometimes it feels like using it is akin to beating around the bush so much to the point that it frustrates me.

I think I have the problem where using passive form to assert thing feels just so unnatural. Keigo can be mastered, but I fear the internalizing of the whole passive form to assert what I want will take a very long time.

In regards to distance, well I am still in America and my correspondent is in Japan. That's also the problem. I understand that he is very busy and I respect that. The problem comes when I send him multiple e-mails (they just got answered thanks to a little pressure from some correspondents here in the States) that they get ignored. Personally for me, I'd rather them send a denial letter and reasons why, but I understand that's a cultural thing and that will take some time getting used to.

What irks me though, is the fact that he almost immediately responded to my inquiries after I sent an e-mail to a professor here asking the exact same question. I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but it feels rather unprofessional when I had to get some faculty muscle to push my inquires through.

Maybe I'm just inexperienced in life, but is this a common tendency in Japan that I have to use connections to get, for a lack of a better term, the wheels rolling?

[steven]

Well you have to remember one thing-- people are people. Some people get shit done quicker than others and that's the brakes. As much as we wanna be, we can't always be everyone's top priority. Looking back on my experiences, I was lucky to have most of my teachers be very quick with e-mail responses (my Japanese professors would respond as late as 3AM!!). I've had other experiences taht were quite different than that, and I always found talking to people in person is a good way to get stuff done. As long as you're polite about it it shouldn't put a negative image on yourself. It's too bad that you can't see them in person because I totally understand your frustration. It's a very important thing for you and it sounds like someone somewhere could be putting it on the backburner (or not relaying information that has already been attained).

I think it's good that you understand that you have to internalize things like "passive form". By internalizing it, that means not thinking of the English passive form when speaking in Japanese. I think for the most part, the passive form usually sounds ridiculous in English, especially where it is used in Japanese. When I first heard of the "passive form" in Japanese, I wasn't clear on what that meant in Engilsh to be quite honest. I thought since I don't really use it in English then I wouldn't need it in Japanese, because all I really wanted to do was express my thoughts (which were in English) in Japanese, after all. Unfortunately it's more complicated than that, though. It took me a LONG time to get over that kind of thinking, but to really "internalize" a language, you have to kind of ditch your native langauge's way of thinking (at least while you speak Japanese or your L2).

"Personally for me, I'd rather them send a denial letter and reasons why, but I understand that's a cultural thing and that will take some time getting used to."
I know what you mean with this one... that kind of thing has happened in America many times as well I'm sure. That's why it's good to have a backup plan (or more than one for that matter). That helps with not being what is essentially held captive to someone elses decision making.

As far as whether or not this kind of thing occurs frequently in Japan or not... I'd say it's safe to say that it does. I'm not sure if it happens more in Japan than it does in America, but I'd be willing to bet that Japan has a marginal edge. I hope other people on here post about their experiences with this to help paint a fuller picture.

I don't know if I'd say this is due to "lack of life experience"... I mean, I doubt we're that far apart in age. While I personally don't have much experience with it in America, I can say that "connections in Japan" are important. Recommendation letters are highly regarded and show that someone who is "high up" and "busy" took the time to write about you (even though it may not be 100% praise!). I've also noticed more of the "if other people like it, then I will too" mentality here than in America. I sense that that style of thinking might carry over to recommendations word of mouth or otherwise. Sometimes a little bit of cajolling is what it takes no matter what language you're dealing with. You just have to watch your approach.

But yea... we all have our perceptions of how people act in a society. All you can do is take what the people around you do and decide that's how society is. If you take any one person, they're not going to line up perfectly with that perception however close they may be. How people act is basically an approximation of what is "normal", so it might be unrealistic to hold Japanese people to what we've read in books to the "t", but it's certainly worth making observations for ourselves and reading up on this kind of thing to help give yourself a closer approximation of how people will act. I'm in the line of thinking that this kind of study can only iprove language ability. Whether this applies to this situation in particular, again though, is questionable!

[Misericordias]

Hmm very informative, thank you Steven!

I have another question, If I may: Is it normal for exchange students to be provided transportation to the college they will be attending in Japan or is it something that the students will have to figure out themselves how to get to the school?

[steven]

That one is completely beyond me. I'm sure someone will tell you eventually, but maybe you could find people who go to your specific school (online even) and ask them about how they get to school. There are probably trains and busses that can get you to where you want to go. If you're doing the same commute day in and day out, you might be able to get some kind of pass.

The public transportation where I am is nearly non-existant so this is something I'm inexperienced with. Sorry!