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06-15-2011, 07:02 PM
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Now, I know that Japan is a very Western socialised.. but when you look at real Asians who crew up without any contact to the Western society. They would never cheat on you or try to divorce with you. It has to come from the guy with the Western mindset. But if he Loves her forever, they will never divorce. It's just the difference in the cultures. People are different and in Asia divorces or cheating on your partner are not a topic because of peoples mindset. 
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06-15-2011, 07:18 PM
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But I am telling you that you are not correct, I have no idea where that stereotype came from. 4/6 of my cousins are divorced, 1 of them due to a cheating wife. These are cousins thats older than me by a good 20 years, the divorce happend long ago when everyone still live in Asia Just because people have no western exposure doesn't mean that they will not suffer from a marriage, if things goes wrong, people will do something about it, its not like they have no tv and don't get exposed or the concept And lets face it, the "Asian" girls you are exposed to and so attracted to, how did you come across them in the first place? Some form of meida, media thats produced in big towns, not up in the mountain... so what you are attrated to, is purely appearance, appearance that belongs to big citys like Tokyo, Yokohama, Seoul, Beijing, appearnce that is 65%+ dressed up by materials, makeup and clothing... materials that do not belong to a place where there is no Western exposure per say.... The perfect "Asian" that you are referring to, if exist, will not be from big cities. Is it possible, yes definitely, but it has nothing to do with the race or the culture anymore, its the individual...
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Examples -
06-15-2011, 07:27 PM
Just to clear things up, i will give you 2 out of 100 of examples i can find you
1. A friend of mine, Canadian born Chinese, went to Japan to teach English a few years back. He wasn't in Tokyo, I don't remeber where he was, but according to him "Far from Tokyo", and its a very very remote area. He got hitched with a Japanese girl that worked at a local minjuku. When he brought the girl back in Canada, things were great until she got her status. She just walk out one day 2. My wife's co-worker, typical geeky 300 lbs sweaty caucasian guy. He went to China three years ago, to some sub-class farming city where kids will surround him and follow him (or any foreigners) because its fascinating to them. Anyways found himself a girl that he really liked, practice mandarin like nut because the girl don't speak a word of English, finally got her in and married her early 2009. She didn't walk out, but she divorced him as soon as she got her landed immigrant status.... and because she has no income at all, he is still supporting her That for the traditional girls you were talking about...
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06-15-2011, 07:54 PM
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06-15-2011, 09:55 PM
Oooh, I don't know if I should even step in here, but it is super hilarious to see white guy act like he knows more about Asians than a Chinese-born Asian
 And as far as the "Real Asians would never cheat on you or try to divorce with you." things goes... You know there's classical Japanese Literature dealing with subjects like cheating and divorce, right? I'm sorry but that has to be one of dumbest things I've read in a while. If you can't speak or read any Asian language I doubt you really know much about Asia.
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06-15-2011, 10:14 PM
On the original subject:
I'd assume the reason that girls can marry at a younger age than boys is so that they can start having children while young and fertile, and those children will be legitimate. At 16, a girl will have finished middle school (as far as I'm aware it is not mandatory to go to high school in Japan) and if she gets pregnant she stands a chance of the birth not causing her too much damage, whereas a younger girl is more likely to have medical problems because her own body is still developing. Japanese law seems to take the view of children being the main reason to get married - along the same lines, a divorced woman must wait six months before getting married again, so that if she gets pregnant there won't be a question of which husband is the baby's father (Well ... there might be, but that's the idea)
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06-15-2011, 10:56 PM
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06-15-2011, 11:49 PM
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From my point of view, the biggest reason marriages made between younger people tend to fail isn`t because of *age* as much as it is because of unrealistic expectations - basically a romanticized view of how a relationship will progress. A lack of education plays a much larger part in this than age - but the younger you are, the less likely you are to have had a decent education. In the end, if you`re intelligent and educated enough to realistically judge whether the relationship will work, you`re also intelligent enough to judge when it likely will not. As there aren`t that many relationships that will work out in the long term, the odds are against you finding one. Age is not the factor - correlation is not causation. It`s just that you`re much more likely to be more educated when older - whether it be a book education, or educated via experience. Poor choices result in poor marriages. I don`t encourage anyone to get married while young, but at the same time I`m not going to write off a relationship just because those involved aren`t past a certain age. I don`t think there is something wrong with someone wanting to commit or to be in a serious relationship at 18 - but at the same time I would expect them not to make the choice to commit hastily. I definitely agree that children should not come into the picture at all until you have quite a lot of stability. We may have gotten married when I was 20, but we waited until we could buy a home before deciding to have a baby. (And were all moved in by the time the baby was released from the hospital.) ------------------------------------------- Anyway, back to the original topic. Or maybe not... Quote:
I don`t know why I am bothering to reply to you though, as you have shown how open you are to listening to others in the past... Quote:
It might be a good idea to look at the history of divorce in Asia. If you were correct, it would not exist until there was a western influence in Asia - right? That is most definitely not the case - and is often the other way around. (Due to missionary activity and the advance of Christian views on marriage.) Japan had a pretty high rate of divorce in the 18th and 19th centuries - I recall reading it was something like 1 in 6 marriages. Now back to the original topic; Quote:
It looks that in the past, it was fairly common for the marriage to be arranged at a very early age, and for the girl to enter the husband`s household. With mandatory schooling, the age she could move from one household to another was set - as chances are, she would have too many responsibilities in a new household to attend school. I do not believe it has as much to do with pregnancy or childbirth, but more with education. I am a bit curious why there is such fascination with this though... Most of the world is about the same in terms of age. Japan is not strange or unique.
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06-16-2011, 12:08 AM
Very interesting Nyororin. And thanks for the link, you're right, Japan isn't that much different, though I was just thinking it was odd that boys couldn't get married at 16 too. BTW in Massachusetts (US) boys can get married 14 and girls can get married at 12! Good lord D:
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